dys's review
3.0
3.5, rounded down to 3 because I didn't like Xavier and found Carson to be a fool for loving him. Regardless of how the story tries to redeem Xavier towards the end: no, nope, noty. Add in an overlong story, with (*gasp* yes, it's possible) way too much sex and this made for a sluggish, drawn out read.
This blurb is a bit misleading. As it was originally what drew me to this book, I was a bit annoyed that I wasn't given what was advertised. It describes the first third or so of the book, after that it's pretty much abandoned with little thought or care for other things. What this book wants to be, what it tries to be, is a love story. A story about overcoming a terrible past to learn to love and accept one's self and others. And at times it accomplishes this idea fantastically through some damn amazing scenes. Most of the time though, its a story about "healing" someone by fucking them. A lot. And then a lot more. And not always consensually.
Other than the first few pages, I never managed to like Xavier. I don't think I was suppose to, at least not a first. But the author never managed to convince me to change my mind about him. As this was a story about redemption for Xavier as much as for Carson(maybe more so than Carson), not being able to change my feelings for Xavier made this story hard to swallow, especially towards the end. While this book is not listed as being in a series, it has a companion/prequel book about Dario and Aiden, with Xavier in it. I think a lot of Xavier's character building is done in that book. This one references back to previous events a lot, events I'm guessing happen in the other book. Perhaps if I had read that book first I would have a better understanding of why Xavier does what he does and is how he is. Without that understanding, for me, he was a very unlikeable character and is ultimately why I rated the book as I did.
Spoiler-filled nitpicking:
The gigantic section of the book that Carson spent with Dario and Aiden, to me, was smut filler. It added nothing to the story. Nothing. Just sex and sex, and magically healing via dicks and semen. I think this section was an attempt to catch the reader up with events from the Dario/Aiden book, again, to try to humanize Xavier and get the reader to understand him better, but it just didn't work as well as reading the other book might. So much rehashing/referencing was done, I feel I don't have to read the other book, I know the main points of it. Maybe marking this as a series, forcing readers to read Aiden/Dario first and then cutting a lot of them from this book would be a more effective way to convey what this book is trying to get across.
While not what I was expecting, this was still a pretty good read. Its written in a way that is extremely captivating. Short, choppy sentences seem awkward at first, but you soon realize the effect is has on the story and what's happening. The reading itself becomes its own experience, which is damn cool. Pretty sure this is going to be one of those super high rated, often recommended books. I can see why, I just don't agree.
This blurb is a bit misleading. As it was originally what drew me to this book, I was a bit annoyed that I wasn't given what was advertised. It describes the first third or so of the book, after that it's pretty much abandoned with little thought or care for other things. What this book wants to be, what it tries to be, is a love story. A story about overcoming a terrible past to learn to love and accept one's self and others. And at times it accomplishes this idea fantastically through some damn amazing scenes. Most of the time though, its a story about "healing" someone by fucking them. A lot. And then a lot more. And not always consensually.
Spoiler
Unless you count a tear-filled, horrified look while gagged and bound to be consent, because hey, he's got an erection so he must be loving it.Other than the first few pages, I never managed to like Xavier. I don't think I was suppose to, at least not a first. But the author never managed to convince me to change my mind about him. As this was a story about redemption for Xavier as much as for Carson(maybe more so than Carson), not being able to change my feelings for Xavier made this story hard to swallow, especially towards the end.
Spoiler
As was explored, Xavier is not a good person. The description of psychopath is fitting. The idea that he's no better than Max, he is Max's mirror is fitting. He did awful things to Carson because he justified them to himself it was right. And he never apologized for it, and never really felt sorry for any of it because he told himself it's what Carson wanted and needed. And Carson wasn't the first, and Xavier admits Carson might not be the last. And Carson's flip-flopping over these ideas being ok and not-ok made me hate him, too, near the end.Spoiler-filled nitpicking:
Spoiler
As stated above, I was unhappy that the premise in the blurb was so quickly abandoned. And yea, abandoned in the only way to describe it; it was left in the dust. It was such a intriguing idea too, about some badass vigilante justice and secret undercover work. What I got was a halfhearted idea that seemed more about giving a way to justify Xavier and Carson meeting and for Xavier to kidnap Carson. Other than that, I'm sorry, but vigilante justice does not end in the tidy, neat way this did, With a flimsy cover story and an FBI sister to magically make it all go away. The following trial, too, was just a vehicle to explain Xavier and Carson reuniting, as was as trying to justify Xavier's desire to hunt down and kill Max.The gigantic section of the book that Carson spent with Dario and Aiden, to me, was smut filler. It added nothing to the story. Nothing. Just sex and sex, and magically healing via dicks and semen. I think this section was an attempt to catch the reader up with events from the Dario/Aiden book, again, to try to humanize Xavier and get the reader to understand him better, but it just didn't work as well as reading the other book might. So much rehashing/referencing was done, I feel I don't have to read the other book, I know the main points of it. Maybe marking this as a series, forcing readers to read Aiden/Dario first and then cutting a lot of them from this book would be a more effective way to convey what this book is trying to get across.
While not what I was expecting, this was still a pretty good read. Its written in a way that is extremely captivating. Short, choppy sentences seem awkward at first, but you soon realize the effect is has on the story and what's happening. The reading itself becomes its own experience, which is damn cool. Pretty sure this is going to be one of those super high rated, often recommended books. I can see why, I just don't agree.
wintergreyborn's review
4.0
Great author, creates mixed emotions
*Spoiler alert* This book gave me mixed emotions. The captivity was brutal and abusive yet also arousing. I nearly stopped reading the book a couple of times because of discomfort but continued. It is clear that the captive man is experiencing an emotionally manipulative situation and could very well be harmed for life, yet at the same time, the captive man's and the captor's arousal is also a part of the story. The story made me feel uncomfortable, yet interested, and a little ashamed of it. And that is exactly what the author wanted me to feel. The writer says that they are interested in the psychology of sex and you can certainly see that. This author is very talented at manipulating the reader's emotions. The writing encouraged you to feel conflicted. My emotions as a reader reflected the emotions of the characters and the emotions of the characters reflected mine. A lot of the time, in these kinds of fantasy stories, authors create a situation that in real life would be abusive but then go "oh everything's okay, he liked it so it's romantic and everything's okay", i suppose to reassure the reader and preserve the fantasy. This author delved right in to the darkness and lingered there for awhile. The fact that the captivity would leave a mark was acknowledged. The fact that lines were crossed was acknowledged. The conflicting emotions and questionable morality was acknowledged. And the need for healing and time to come to terms with things afterward was acknowledged. I think the best example of this is in a scene after the captivity when the dominant character emotionally asks the submissive character " did i rape you?" And then tells the submissive character that only you can decide if you were raped. You and the characters are made to wonder the same things. The romance after the captivity, was it true or was it Stockholm syndrome? I wasn't sure and neither were the characters. It brings out a lot of the questions and emotional complexities that surround sex and bdsm, and that surround a lot of bdsm fantasies. Now, near the end of the book, i thought the plot and writing went downhill a little bit, it started feeling rushed and less thought out, and after the author introduced more of Carson's history and past abuse a lot of problems were suddenly blamed on that and the way it was done made it seem like the author was suddenly trying to find a way to shift some of the blame from what happened with Xavier, but really i think it was mostly just hurried writing near the end that made it seem that way. But, overall, after reading this book I was left with the impression that this author is very intelligent and talented.
*Spoiler alert* This book gave me mixed emotions. The captivity was brutal and abusive yet also arousing. I nearly stopped reading the book a couple of times because of discomfort but continued. It is clear that the captive man is experiencing an emotionally manipulative situation and could very well be harmed for life, yet at the same time, the captive man's and the captor's arousal is also a part of the story. The story made me feel uncomfortable, yet interested, and a little ashamed of it. And that is exactly what the author wanted me to feel. The writer says that they are interested in the psychology of sex and you can certainly see that. This author is very talented at manipulating the reader's emotions. The writing encouraged you to feel conflicted. My emotions as a reader reflected the emotions of the characters and the emotions of the characters reflected mine. A lot of the time, in these kinds of fantasy stories, authors create a situation that in real life would be abusive but then go "oh everything's okay, he liked it so it's romantic and everything's okay", i suppose to reassure the reader and preserve the fantasy. This author delved right in to the darkness and lingered there for awhile. The fact that the captivity would leave a mark was acknowledged. The fact that lines were crossed was acknowledged. The conflicting emotions and questionable morality was acknowledged. And the need for healing and time to come to terms with things afterward was acknowledged. I think the best example of this is in a scene after the captivity when the dominant character emotionally asks the submissive character " did i rape you?" And then tells the submissive character that only you can decide if you were raped. You and the characters are made to wonder the same things. The romance after the captivity, was it true or was it Stockholm syndrome? I wasn't sure and neither were the characters. It brings out a lot of the questions and emotional complexities that surround sex and bdsm, and that surround a lot of bdsm fantasies. Now, near the end of the book, i thought the plot and writing went downhill a little bit, it started feeling rushed and less thought out, and after the author introduced more of Carson's history and past abuse a lot of problems were suddenly blamed on that and the way it was done made it seem like the author was suddenly trying to find a way to shift some of the blame from what happened with Xavier, but really i think it was mostly just hurried writing near the end that made it seem that way. But, overall, after reading this book I was left with the impression that this author is very intelligent and talented.
anya_doesntmatter's review
4.0
***It's not necessary but I recommend reading the prequel: Dangerously Happy AFTER you read this.****
This story was nothing like what I expected and it took me a minute to adjust.
Full disclosure. The book lives up to its name. This story isn’t nice. It’s dark, a bit heavy and psychologically twisted. So obviously, I enjoyed reading every diabolical minute of it!
In the beginning I was a bit perplexed. What I thought would be a straight forward story about a brother seeking justice ( and atonement) for not preventing his sister’s rape, verged into other things I didn’t expect. Once I allowed myself to stop predicting ( and being woefully wrong every time), where Krylov was taking me, I became immersed in the telling. From the moment he showed up on paper I liked Xavier. I liked how protective he is of those that are sometimes helpless.
Determined to make sure not another woman suffers if he can help it, Xavier, poses as a bouncer and infiltrates a sex trafficking ring in hopes of taking them down. To do that he decides to use Carson, a bartender at the club that’s used as a front for the ring as his means to gain the trust of the boss running the ring.
Carson, was caught between a rock and the proverbial hard place. One foolish decision had him fearing for his life from the traffickers and also fearing Xavier. And once poor Carson fell into Xavier’s clutches… that’s when the games begin.
I really enjoyed this story. It’s not a predictable read and I found myself caught off guard a couple times which was refreshing.
Be prepared to like and hate Xavier. to like, hate, pity, like Carson and to hopefully close the book liking everything you’ve read while wondering if it’s love or obsession?
Enjoy!
*Personal Copy*
This story was nothing like what I expected and it took me a minute to adjust.
Full disclosure. The book lives up to its name. This story isn’t nice. It’s dark, a bit heavy and psychologically twisted. So obviously, I enjoyed reading every diabolical minute of it!
In the beginning I was a bit perplexed. What I thought would be a straight forward story about a brother seeking justice ( and atonement) for not preventing his sister’s rape, verged into other things I didn’t expect. Once I allowed myself to stop predicting ( and being woefully wrong every time), where Krylov was taking me, I became immersed in the telling. From the moment he showed up on paper I liked Xavier. I liked how protective he is of those that are sometimes helpless.
Determined to make sure not another woman suffers if he can help it, Xavier, poses as a bouncer and infiltrates a sex trafficking ring in hopes of taking them down. To do that he decides to use Carson, a bartender at the club that’s used as a front for the ring as his means to gain the trust of the boss running the ring.
Carson, was caught between a rock and the proverbial hard place. One foolish decision had him fearing for his life from the traffickers and also fearing Xavier. And once poor Carson fell into Xavier’s clutches… that’s when the games begin.
I really enjoyed this story. It’s not a predictable read and I found myself caught off guard a couple times which was refreshing.
Be prepared to like and hate Xavier. to like, hate, pity, like Carson and to hopefully close the book liking everything you’ve read while wondering if it’s love or obsession?
Enjoy!
*Personal Copy*
reedkaye's review
5.0
This is the second book I’ve read by this author. I’m left feeling a little frustrated. The book ends too abruptly. Maybe all her books do I don’t know but I’m not ready to end the story yet. This story more than once brought tears to my eyes. This story starts out with Xavier a guy who has a thing for protecting his sister. He had not been able to protect her from rape when she was at college and Xavier somewhat feels he didn’t keep her safe. This also causes Xavier to watch out for others but not for himself. While Xavier thinks he is helping his FBI sister get evidence on a case she is working, he meets Carson. Before long they are in a dangerous game. Carson has plenty of issues. He is in denial of being gay. When it comes out how Carson’s parent’s dealt with him being gay it broke my heart. Carson ends up not dealing with it until with Xavier he is forced to deal. Aiden and Dario also enter into the story about this time. I’m not sure I can believe the relationship with these two even though they both are lovable characters. There are so many twists and turns in this story. My only unanswered question is with James. I’m not sure how he really fits into this overall. It feels like he has a open story but I’m not sure he is really needed here. I like this author’s stories but get frustrated when they end because I’m not ready to end it. I received a copy from GRR and this is my opinion.
claudiereads's review
First dnf of 2022, say hello to mommy.
dnf @ 26%
That’s it, I’m done. I was bored and frustrated by this.
dnf @ 26%
That’s it, I’m done. I was bored and frustrated by this.
abhidnya's review
3.0
i liked it a lot. it dealt with lots of sensitive issues. i felt like it was over described at place. i would've liked it better if xavi and carson communicated in the first half.
wendylynnm's review
4.0
I don't know where to begin with this review, it's actually taken me over two weeks to sit down and write it. To get this out of the way first, the author's writing is outstanding, that I really enjoyed. I think it was more of the story line that made be sit back and think on it before I sat down to write a review.
Xavier is a hard man to hate but an even harder man to love, now I know that probably makes no sense so I will explain it. His love for his sister is completely heartwarming, he wants nothing but the best for her. But he wants justice for her past to come at his hands. Having rage and vengeance leading him will cause nothing but trouble. Working behind his sisters back and going undercover he meets Carson, a straight man who lets his glances linger longer than they should for a man not interested in sex with another man.
Now this is where I come into the hard time loving Xavier. Kidnapping Carson to find out what he knows is understandable but the sex is very much on the edge on non-consensual to me, NOT that he raped Carson (that is not what I am saying). I felt he talked Carson into more than what he was ready for but what he did opened Carson's eyes to what he really wanted in life. His feelings that he was told were wrong for so long now didn't seem to be as wrong as his parents made him think.
What I will stop with is "Love is Love, sometimes it takes people longer to get there than others" and not all methods to open someone's eyes will work on everyone, but Xavier did what was right for him and Carson both.
I will go back and read book one just to get more of what made Xavier the way he is.
This is an ADULT book, if you can't handle Male on Male action then don't bother picking it up. Would I recommend this book to a friend- Hell Yeah, just because I want someone to talk to about the relationship between Xavier & Carson!
Xavier is a hard man to hate but an even harder man to love, now I know that probably makes no sense so I will explain it. His love for his sister is completely heartwarming, he wants nothing but the best for her. But he wants justice for her past to come at his hands. Having rage and vengeance leading him will cause nothing but trouble. Working behind his sisters back and going undercover he meets Carson, a straight man who lets his glances linger longer than they should for a man not interested in sex with another man.
Now this is where I come into the hard time loving Xavier. Kidnapping Carson to find out what he knows is understandable but the sex is very much on the edge on non-consensual to me, NOT that he raped Carson (that is not what I am saying). I felt he talked Carson into more than what he was ready for but what he did opened Carson's eyes to what he really wanted in life. His feelings that he was told were wrong for so long now didn't seem to be as wrong as his parents made him think.
What I will stop with is "Love is Love, sometimes it takes people longer to get there than others" and not all methods to open someone's eyes will work on everyone, but Xavier did what was right for him and Carson both.
I will go back and read book one just to get more of what made Xavier the way he is.
This is an ADULT book, if you can't handle Male on Male action then don't bother picking it up. Would I recommend this book to a friend- Hell Yeah, just because I want someone to talk to about the relationship between Xavier & Carson!
lavenderxohuang's review
dark
emotional
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
I should have just dnf for myself, but I did end up finishing this. I enjoyed the first half a lot more than the second half. I think the second half was a lot more character-focused whereas the first half was a good mix of both character and plot. While I've loved some other works by Varian, this was the one I found least favourable. Unfortunately didn't enjoy this and overall thought the book was bad. While the characters had depth, I thought the way they deal with their traumas just seems completely off the rocks to me. I wish I can hug them all and introduce them to the best therapist. I HATED what Xavier did to Carson in the pretense of "knowing what he needed". What he did was not okay and never ok (which would have been fine if he knew it was wrong - I like my fair share of dark stories). What frustrated me was Xavier seemed to think what he did was completely fine and insisted Carson actually wanted it when Carson was actually scared for his life. Their psychoanalysis left me frustrated, bored, and ready to walk. The grittiness and the whole bringing down a sex trafficking ring was exciting, but the "romance" in the book was not believable, not cute, and very damaged in my personal opinion. I think some will really love this book and how the characters "healed" each other but it wasn't for me.
walford's review
3.0
I hope no one reads this and concludes that for emotional healing they need to find a Big Bad Dom with a Magic Dick.
So, a fairy tale, but enjoyable. My first but not last by Krylov. Descriptions of sex trafficking (of young women) a little vivid for my taste, but maybe necessary to establish the darkness.
Maybe not a stand-alone because another couple (from the previous book) have a fair amount of page-time and I would have liked to know their backstory. Next on my list.
So, a fairy tale, but enjoyable. My first but not last by Krylov. Descriptions of sex trafficking (of young women) a little vivid for my taste, but maybe necessary to establish the darkness.
Maybe not a stand-alone because another couple (from the previous book) have a fair amount of page-time and I would have liked to know their backstory. Next on my list.