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kireteiru's review against another edition
4.0
My copy was apparently missing the last several pages, but still a good read. Sometimes learning what you need to do first involves learning what NOT to do.
typewriterjess's review against another edition
1.0
In a lot of contemporary novels, there is often an underdog protagonist, who's in about 8th grade. He is often labelled a 'nerd' or a 'loser' of some sort by a bully. This bully goes and beats upon our unfortunate protagonist daily. Everyone laughs at the poor protagonist, whether because they are scared of the bully or believe it's funny to see some poor kid get crushed under the tyrannical hand of this insecure, mocking dude. Of course, no one suspects that the bullied kid is the Chosen One/ Guardian of the Land of Zerdurner/ has the gift of Lendenshernern, which will guide him on his epic hero's journey to find his destiny.
Unfortunately, if your personal hero's journey involves, I don't know, writing a novel, this book will not play the part of the kindly old mentor to help guide you in your journey, but that of the bully who mocks your worthlessness and tells you that you'll never amount to anything.
Yeah. It was that bad.
I'd wanted to read this book for a really long time and I was super excited about it. At first I really liked it, but as I tried to find the example mistakes I identified with so I could fix them in my writing, I realized I wasn't making any of the mistakes. In fact, the mistakes given were super basic. It became very clear they were talking down to the reader. Then I came to realize that this book wasn't intended to help writers become better; it was to make fun of writers in general. It comes up with examples and proceeds to make fun of them to the highest degree. A lot of the paragraphs seemed to mock, "If you've ever made this mistake in your life, it's a sign from the cosmos you were never meant to be a writer." ....excuse me? Whatever happened to the whole concept of The Professionals Were Once Amateurs Too? Ya pompous book....!This mocking tone was accompanied by an extremely annoying use of sarcasm. This book wasn't just dripping with sarcasm; it was continually being boiled in it. I understand that sarcasm can be used to be funny and can emphasize the point. But these authors' supercilious use of sarcasm actually diluted their meaning. It was hard to tell if they actually believed something was worth writing or not because of their immature sarcasm explosions. My last complaint is that this book was extremely dirty, I thought unnecessarily so for a *nonfiction writing* book. About 3/4 of their made up examples involved some sort of sex scene (and no, I'm not including in this fraction the section that talked about how to not write a sex scene).Their repeated usage of these dirty examples also diluted the meaning of what they were actually getting at. They could have used a non-sex scene to illustrate their example, and it would have made their point a lot clearer (or actually made it known!). Gag.
People say this is a funny book, but to me, it's only a humorous book if you're either a huge sarcasm aficionado or you like to make fun of other people's writing. If that sounds like you, by all means, please read this book. But if you're looking for a book that will actually teach you how to write and to write well (and not try to destroy your will in the process), skip this one.
Unfortunately, if your personal hero's journey involves, I don't know, writing a novel, this book will not play the part of the kindly old mentor to help guide you in your journey, but that of the bully who mocks your worthlessness and tells you that you'll never amount to anything.
Yeah. It was that bad.
I'd wanted to read this book for a really long time and I was super excited about it. At first I really liked it, but as I tried to find the example mistakes I identified with so I could fix them in my writing, I realized I wasn't making any of the mistakes. In fact, the mistakes given were super basic. It became very clear they were talking down to the reader. Then I came to realize that this book wasn't intended to help writers become better; it was to make fun of writers in general. It comes up with examples and proceeds to make fun of them to the highest degree. A lot of the paragraphs seemed to mock, "If you've ever made this mistake in your life, it's a sign from the cosmos you were never meant to be a writer." ....excuse me? Whatever happened to the whole concept of The Professionals Were Once Amateurs Too? Ya pompous book....!This mocking tone was accompanied by an extremely annoying use of sarcasm. This book wasn't just dripping with sarcasm; it was continually being boiled in it. I understand that sarcasm can be used to be funny and can emphasize the point. But these authors' supercilious use of sarcasm actually diluted their meaning. It was hard to tell if they actually believed something was worth writing or not because of their immature sarcasm explosions. My last complaint is that this book was extremely dirty, I thought unnecessarily so for a *nonfiction writing* book. About 3/4 of their made up examples involved some sort of sex scene (and no, I'm not including in this fraction the section that talked about how to not write a sex scene).Their repeated usage of these dirty examples also diluted the meaning of what they were actually getting at. They could have used a non-sex scene to illustrate their example, and it would have made their point a lot clearer (or actually made it known!). Gag.
People say this is a funny book, but to me, it's only a humorous book if you're either a huge sarcasm aficionado or you like to make fun of other people's writing. If that sounds like you, by all means, please read this book. But if you're looking for a book that will actually teach you how to write and to write well (and not try to destroy your will in the process), skip this one.
lia_mills's review against another edition
funny
informative
3.75
Method: e-book
More funny than instructive, but not lacking in either - worth reading if you like comedy non-fiction, and/or if you're interested in creative writing, and since I'm a yes to both, this worked for me.
(It would have worked better, though, without some of the grosser examples - I'm somewhat squeamish, so this does lessen the book for me a little).
On a personal note: I read this on my phone over the course of a 10-hour day while helping patch the lights for a university theatre production (specifically, sitting in the lighting box and following the exact instructions from someone who actually knew how lighting systems work) - every few minutes, they would call up to me from the auditorium and tell me what to do, and I would do exactly what they said before returning to this book. This is one of my fondest (and one of very few sociable) memories from my university days, and I will always think rather fondly of this book for that reason.
More funny than instructive, but not lacking in either - worth reading if you like comedy non-fiction, and/or if you're interested in creative writing, and since I'm a yes to both, this worked for me.
(It would have worked better, though, without some of the grosser examples - I'm somewhat squeamish, so this does lessen the book for me a little).
On a personal note: I read this on my phone over the course of a 10-hour day while helping patch the lights for a university theatre production (specifically, sitting in the lighting box and following the exact instructions from someone who actually knew how lighting systems work) - every few minutes, they would call up to me from the auditorium and tell me what to do, and I would do exactly what they said before returning to this book. This is one of my fondest (and one of very few sociable) memories from my university days, and I will always think rather fondly of this book for that reason.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Gore, Sexual assault, and Sexual content
philippakmoore's review against another edition
2.0
Fun for a laugh - especially the part about "if you are going to put a cat in your novel, for god's sake don't do the following...". But otherwise it was a bit smug, a bit pretentious and a bit of a downer!
davidgilani's review against another edition
5.0
Really funny and really clear - what more could you want from a 'how to' / 'how not to' book. Mittelmark has compiled a brilliant array of the worst possible examples of novel excerpts to make all the points that needed to be made. The book is nicely structured so that it covers all the aspects of writing and publishing a novel with minimal repetition.
antony_monir's review
2.0
I am not an author but I do hope to become a successful writer one day. Of course, a book like this piqued my interest and I had to read it. However, as my rating shows, I was severely disappointed. First of all, a book called about mistakes in writing novels seems like a good idea that should be of interest to all aspiring authors. Instead, it seems to be focused on 2-3 genres of fiction, with a heavy emphasis on romance/thriller books. There is nothing wrong with these books but people seeking to write psychological novels would find it very difficult to learn anything from How Not to Write a Novel. Then, whatever advice that is applicable to non-genre fiction is so obvious that any person who is seeking to improve their writing is sure to have thought of it. For example: don’t leave typos in your book before sending it to a publisher. Quite obvious, no? Same with most of the advice that is valid like not messing around with the tenses in verbs or not having too much description to the point of boring the readers, etc. However, the book’s advice doesn’t stop at the obvious. There are pieces of advice here that I am certain exist only to prevent your book from being interesting or unique in any way. Many great authors in history, including in modern times, have broken various rules set up by the writers of How Not to Write a Novel. You can look at books like Lolita or the Grapes of Wrath that break many, many rules. Yet, these books are not only successful financially, but they are also praised for their originality. I understand that if one’s goal is simply to get published, then the advice in this book could be of help. But I also believe in the beauty of art and art is at its most beautiful when it is unique. There is a market for thousand of generic books every year (as seen by looking at any bookstore anywhere). But just like they are published quickly, they are forgotten quickly. As an aspiring author, I want to write a book that will have an impact on literature and I don’t particularly see a purpose in writing something purely for the sake of being published. Of course, I want to write something good that is worthy of being published but I wouldn’t want to sacrifice originality of content and form to do so. Sometimes, it is better to be audacious and fail than to be boring and succeed. In the end of the day, history will remember the likes of Vonnegut rather than Patterson. 2/5.