Reviews

All He Wants for Christmas is a Fingerling by JP Sayle

Only show reviews with written explanations

torilovesheas's review

5.0

Listen. Is this well written? Not too shabby. Did I laugh cry while reading it because it’s so drily funny? Yes. Did it get 5 stars because the vibes were immaculate? Absolutely.

I mean it’s a potato shifter. From Potatoville. And he rolls around when in his potato form. And he falls in love with a wolf shifter. And there’s m-preg. And there’s vore.

And honestly? The author did a fantastic job of fleshing out the story and also leaning into the batshit, bonkers aspects.
A rollicking, ridiculous good time and don’t let anyone tell you any different, honey.

cactusmotif's review

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fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Plot
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No

0.5

½ - awful, unserious, thoughtless

★- mediocre, crude, incoherent

★½ - unrealized potential,
underdeveloped, disappointing

★★- fine, coherent, technically proficient

★★½ - good, enjoyable, well-crafted

★★★ - great, favorable, thoughtful

★★★½ - profound, inventive, original

★★★★ - exceptional, genius, thought-provoking

★★★★½ - masterpiece

★★★★★- unparalleled, revelatory, revolutionary

laughably bad. bloated and crude. incomprehensible and thoughtless in the extreme. an exemplary model of the heteronormalization of queer eroticism common to the omegaverse genre.

one of the preeminent strengths of speculative fiction—in my view, it’s sine qua non—resides in its epistemological utility. the defamiliarization of normative contexts, by and through the presence of the fantastic, fanciful and phantasmagoric, creates spaces where sociopolitical paradigms, economic systems, historiocultural narratives, and theoretical constructs can be deconstructed and reconceptualized. the fantastical elements become conduits for the interrogation, impugnation and subversion of hegemonic frameworks and accepted axioms. in a way, speculative fiction allows you to queer the world.

you’d think that an erotic subgenre of speculative fiction originating in the online queer fandom spaces of the early aughts would be a great forum for the problematization of all things cisheteropatriarchal and normative. it would make sense to anticipate the decoding of gendered language, signifiers and performance, along with the demystification of the function of institutions of marriage and family within economic systems—and, consequently, contribute to the material conditions of queer people. boy, do I have bad news for you: the genre conventions more often facilitate the opposite.

that’s right, folks! the gay werewolf fanfic erotica genre’s got motifs and stylistic norms that have the effect of heteronormalizing the queer, rather than queering the heteronormative. it sucks, because the premise of integrating a secondary system of gender categorization seems like a great way to complicate the way we think about gender, as well as just innovating queer erotica. don’t get me wrong, i may think an engagement with theory and criticism is what makes speculative fiction fun, but i’m not trying to say that authors have some kind of obligation to make their erotica all about theory. i think writing erotica for the sake of writing erotica is great. i’ve just got a bone to pick with queer fiction that disinterested in queerness, and too much of the omegaverse landscape is like this. steeped in bioessentialism and the relentless romanticization of marriage and family.

let’s unpack this: omegaverse narratives typically feature a dyadic relationship between two men—comprising an ‘alpha’ and an ‘omega.’ alphas are the epitome of hypermasculinity: the tallest of the tall, their muscles have muscles and the oscillate between total stoicism and unbridled rage. they’re expected to adhere to the sociocultural narrative to pursue omegas as prospective mates in order to start a family. omegas are the antithesis of alphas: typified as small, hairless, submissive and nurturing traits all traditionally associated with eurocentric, cisheteropatriarchal conceptions of femininity, albeit with certain latitude—although how smallness, submissiveness or overall femininity of the leading omega varies, it remains consistent to their relational dynamic vis-à-vis the leading alpha—always smaller, always more submissive, always less masculine. these characteristics are never nuanced as idiosyncrasies. instead, they’re essentialized, understood by themselves and those around them as consequences of the reproductive disparities between alpha and omega: regardless of their gender, alphas inseminate, omegas are impregnated. occasionally, the leading omega does not exhibit these traits. in that case, the gender nonconformity is depicted as exceptional, the exception that proves the rule, even. this is made even clearer through ‘scents,’ another common facet of the omegaverse genre, the idea being that gender categorization can be discerned through pheromones that produce scents, discernible as ‘alpha’ or ‘omega’ but otherwise unique to each individual. as you might guess, the scent of an ‘alpha’ usually features top notes typical of men’s cologne. the scent of an omega almost always reads like a description of a women’s perfume.

tala and frenchie constitute archetypical depiction of the alpha-omega dynamic, but tala exemplifies it. this, in itself, is telling: not only are the secondary gender categories ‘alpha’ and ‘omega’ analogous to the normative male-female dichotomy, but so are the manner of their depictions. the depiction of omegas mirrors broader sociocultural attitudes towards gender expression. exceptional omegas are an occasional phenomenon. exceptional alphas are not. while very little nonconformity is tolerated, any masculinity on the part of an omega is usually fetishized. conversely, any femininity on the part of an alpha is not really depicted at all. the only thing that makes them remarkable is the fact that frenchie is a ‘potato-shifter,’ which disrupts only the way his scent is depicted: smelling like ‘french fries covered in ketchup’ as opposed to woman’s perfume.

worse yet is the ‘mating bond’ trope. mating, as commonly depicted within omegaverse, is more than an act: it’s a quasi-marital institution. partners solidify their relationship, socially and legally, through the exchange of bite marks, which, in some narratives, trigger subtle hormonal changes that ‘alter’ their scents. this has the effect of not only physicalizing the commitment, reinforcing the bioessentialism, but also naturalizing the institution of marriage by making it an essential part of the reproductive process, obscuring the possibility of alpha-alpha and omega-omega relationships and thus replicating heteronormativity within the speculative framework. this is a particularly glaring example of that.

‘all he wants for christmas is a fingerling’ embodies all the pitfalls of the omegaverse genre to such a degree that the only thing worth discussing about it is the omegaverse genre itself, despite the absurdity of its unique premise. as characters, tala and frenchie are so dime-a-dozen that not even frenchie’s ability to transform into a potato differentiates them. frenchie’s status as a potato-shifter in a society composed entirely of werewolves is so inconsequential one has to wonder if the gag even justifies itself. it’s less a foray into speculative possibility and the comedic potential of the satirical and the surreal than it is a tired reiteration of the status quo, this time with a side of fries.

Content Warnings

imkevbo's review

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adventurous funny fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.5

This book is like nothing ai have ever read! Lol

tildeathbookishbabe's review

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3.0

I had to read it

This is quit an interesting story and I was cracking up at some points. Everything is exactly as to be expected when one of the MCs is a potato shifter lol.

tasnim_2000's review

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adventurous emotional funny lighthearted sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

beata's review

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funny relaxing fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

It was utterly rodiculous but I loved it!

ashward5302's review

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3.0

listen. i've read worse (looking at you, flames of chaos). it's absolutely totally bizarre-i mean, just read the title. But, it's also supremely entertaining. the characters are silly. idk.

lorenp's review

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fast-paced

0.5

Well that was something. Still sad the babies weren’t half wolf half potato

jacquy's review

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lighthearted medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? No

2.0

Ich muss aufhören, mich für das seltsamste erhältliche Buch zu entscheiden.

Content Warnings

unusablebooklore's review

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adventurous funny lighthearted fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? No

3.0

Fated mates

Shifter

MPreg

Grumpy/Sunshine

All the joking about Potato shifters aside. This book was pretty decent. An adorable grumpy/sunshine story. If Frenchie had been anything but a potato there would be no jokes.

It was light and fun, and had a little inter-pack tension. I thought it was a little quick paced in parts; I think it could have been fleshed out a little because it had great bones.

I’m pretty sure I’ll read the sequel, but knowing what the first book was like I’ll strategically place it on my TBR.

Content Warnings

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