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stepgg's review against another edition
It took me a bit to get into this one, maybe because she has to guess at some of the details and I would keep getting so angry at the lack of medical support. I had to keep reminding myself how far pur system has come since the 80s (and also maybe a difference in countries) but it was very well written especially when you consider how much work it would have been for her.
perry417's review against another edition
2.0
A really uncomfortable and unsettling memoir, and not one I would recommend. I was expecting a story of "resilience and hope" (via the blurb on the back of the book and my positive impression from an interview I heard on NPR), but instead it was a story of a medical community's gross negligence, a manipulative and emotionally abusive husband, an absent extended family in deep, deep denial, and children who were the innocent victims of the mess around them. Su's ability to mimic and hide her TBI for decades was not inspirational or remarkable to me; it was heartbreaking.
bookclaire4eva's review against another edition
2.0
After a freak accident with a ceiling fan (of all things), a young mother forgets everything.
What a strange way to suffer a traumatic brain injury. A ceiling fan to the head. Nothing sinister, nothing powerful, just a ceiling fan with loose connections that finally let go. No fractured skull, no huge pools of blood, no grisly gashes in the scalp. Just a small cut and the loss of all memories prior to the event.
It's almost impossible to imagine. One day, you're a young parent, the next you wake up and you don't remember having been a child, gotten married, or giving birth to those children. Su says she had two birthdays: the usual day of birth and the day of the incident.
This near impossibility of imagination is a large part of why Su had such a long and difficult road to recovery (or at least as much recovery as was possible). There was no real physical damage to her brain, and since the doctors she consulted couldn't find a reason for her amnesia, they wrote it of as psychological rather than physiological. How much does that suck? So she never really got the help she needed. For years she struggled, relying far too much (although she had little choice) on her children to function. Not only had she lost her memories prior to the accident, but for years afterwards, she had little ability to make new memories. Her short-term memory was almost nonexistent. Her struggles remind me of Left Neglected by Lisa Genova (although that's a work of fiction). What's truly amazing is that decades after the incident, she graduated from a local college.
While all of the above is interesting, I found the book less than amazing. I think the stilted writing and telling rather than showing is a result of her brain injury, but I still couldn't get past it. She really can't do much better, and her co-writer and editors decided to leave her voice as-is. While this editorial choice makes sense, it made it difficult for me to really get into Su's story. It just seemed bizarre, rather than the heart-wrenching and sympathetic that I'm sure was part of the whole point.
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What a strange way to suffer a traumatic brain injury. A ceiling fan to the head. Nothing sinister, nothing powerful, just a ceiling fan with loose connections that finally let go. No fractured skull, no huge pools of blood, no grisly gashes in the scalp. Just a small cut and the loss of all memories prior to the event.
It's almost impossible to imagine. One day, you're a young parent, the next you wake up and you don't remember having been a child, gotten married, or giving birth to those children. Su says she had two birthdays: the usual day of birth and the day of the incident.
This near impossibility of imagination is a large part of why Su had such a long and difficult road to recovery (or at least as much recovery as was possible). There was no real physical damage to her brain, and since the doctors she consulted couldn't find a reason for her amnesia, they wrote it of as psychological rather than physiological. How much does that suck? So she never really got the help she needed. For years she struggled, relying far too much (although she had little choice) on her children to function. Not only had she lost her memories prior to the accident, but for years afterwards, she had little ability to make new memories. Her short-term memory was almost nonexistent. Her struggles remind me of Left Neglected by Lisa Genova (although that's a work of fiction). What's truly amazing is that decades after the incident, she graduated from a local college.
While all of the above is interesting, I found the book less than amazing. I think the stilted writing and telling rather than showing is a result of her brain injury, but I still couldn't get past it. She really can't do much better, and her co-writer and editors decided to leave her voice as-is. While this editorial choice makes sense, it made it difficult for me to really get into Su's story. It just seemed bizarre, rather than the heart-wrenching and sympathetic that I'm sure was part of the whole point.
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romiress's review against another edition
4.0
I received this book as part of Goodread's First Reads program, although I first spotted it in a bookstore. The concept sounded interesting, and like something I would be genuinely interested in reading. Getting it through First Reads was a great perk, and I'm happy I got a chance to read it. it was definitely outside what I normally read, which tends to be Sci-fi and Fantasy fiction. I read the rare biography, and I find that how good they are tends to vary.
The story itself is definitely engaging, and I found the writing to be quite good. At times it comes off as a bit simplistic, but considering that the author still occasionally forgets how to write at all, it's an impressive work. There are lots of questions left unanswered, and strangely enough, it works for the novel. It makes it more obvious how painful it must be for Su, to go through her life not knowing those things not about a stranger who she's reading a book about, but about herself.
I found it did drag a bit in the middle, and the pacing felt a bit off. Part of this seems to be because she'd fallen into a routine, and not a whole lot was happening, but part of it was simply the writing. Beyond that lull, the book was hard to put down in general, and I sped through it in a single day, eager to know how she would deal with all her issues.
It's a small miracle she's still alive, and it's definitely an eye opener for those who might be dealing with friends or family suffering from amnesia, even if their cases are not as extreme as Su Mecks.
The story itself is definitely engaging, and I found the writing to be quite good. At times it comes off as a bit simplistic, but considering that the author still occasionally forgets how to write at all, it's an impressive work. There are lots of questions left unanswered, and strangely enough, it works for the novel. It makes it more obvious how painful it must be for Su, to go through her life not knowing those things not about a stranger who she's reading a book about, but about herself.
I found it did drag a bit in the middle, and the pacing felt a bit off. Part of this seems to be because she'd fallen into a routine, and not a whole lot was happening, but part of it was simply the writing. Beyond that lull, the book was hard to put down in general, and I sped through it in a single day, eager to know how she would deal with all her issues.
It's a small miracle she's still alive, and it's definitely an eye opener for those who might be dealing with friends or family suffering from amnesia, even if their cases are not as extreme as Su Mecks.
horrorwine's review against another edition
2.0
su is a saint and I spent every page wishing harm to her awful husband
bosoxamy's review against another edition
5.0
This was a First Reads win. It's a fabulous memoir about a woman who suffers a TBI and loses not only her memory, but her essential self as well. The parts about memory development were fascinating. I ended up despising the author's husband, but at the same time I was impressed at his willingness to support and care for a woman who couldn't remember falling in love with him. This was one of those books I didn't want to put down and I can't wait to share it with friends.
jeanetterenee's review against another edition
3.0
3.5 stars
There are a lot of novels and films about amnesia, but the reality of living with the condition is considerably more difficult than what is portrayed in fiction. At least for Su Meck. Some people with brain injuries are able to recover some of their memories over time. Not so for Su. She has no recall of the first 22 years of her life before her brain injury, and very little memory of the first few years after the injury.
Imagine coming to consciousness in a hospital with no idea who you are and no recognition of the people who say they are your family. You don't know what your likes and dislikes are, what your childhood was like, or what your basic personality is like. You no longer know how to read, do simple arithmetic, prepare food, or behave in social situations. Nor do you have any recall of ever having known how to do these things. And after MRIs have been done, the doctors tell your husband it's a psychiatric condition.
This is what happened to Su Meck in 1988, after a falling ceiling fan gave her a traumatic brain injury (TBI). This book chronicles her struggle to be a wife and mother with no memory of what the words marriage, motherhood, sex, or even love meant. For many years she was like an automaton, mimicking the behaviors of those around her, with no understanding of why she was supposed to do and say those things.
The first part of the book is very interesting, as Su explains what it means to have severe amnesia, and the disorientation she felt every minute of every day. As the book progresses, it gets mired down in the mundane details of married life and raising kids. The dailiness of her account grows tedious at times. I would rather have learned more about how, specifically, she regained some of her basic skills. For example, she says it took her many years to learn how to read again, but she doesn't describe how that re-learning evolved.
The story is still well worth reading despite a sometimes lagging pace. For twenty years after her accident, Su Meck kept her struggle with amnesia a secret from almost everyone. Part of her purpose in writing the book was to let people with similar problems know they're not alone and can reach out to others for support and guidance. I applaud her for the effort, and for taking on the challenge of writing a book for which she had to rely almost entirely on the memories of family and friends.
There are a lot of novels and films about amnesia, but the reality of living with the condition is considerably more difficult than what is portrayed in fiction. At least for Su Meck. Some people with brain injuries are able to recover some of their memories over time. Not so for Su. She has no recall of the first 22 years of her life before her brain injury, and very little memory of the first few years after the injury.
Imagine coming to consciousness in a hospital with no idea who you are and no recognition of the people who say they are your family. You don't know what your likes and dislikes are, what your childhood was like, or what your basic personality is like. You no longer know how to read, do simple arithmetic, prepare food, or behave in social situations. Nor do you have any recall of ever having known how to do these things. And after MRIs have been done, the doctors tell your husband it's a psychiatric condition.
This is what happened to Su Meck in 1988, after a falling ceiling fan gave her a traumatic brain injury (TBI). This book chronicles her struggle to be a wife and mother with no memory of what the words marriage, motherhood, sex, or even love meant. For many years she was like an automaton, mimicking the behaviors of those around her, with no understanding of why she was supposed to do and say those things.
The first part of the book is very interesting, as Su explains what it means to have severe amnesia, and the disorientation she felt every minute of every day. As the book progresses, it gets mired down in the mundane details of married life and raising kids. The dailiness of her account grows tedious at times. I would rather have learned more about how, specifically, she regained some of her basic skills. For example, she says it took her many years to learn how to read again, but she doesn't describe how that re-learning evolved.
The story is still well worth reading despite a sometimes lagging pace. For twenty years after her accident, Su Meck kept her struggle with amnesia a secret from almost everyone. Part of her purpose in writing the book was to let people with similar problems know they're not alone and can reach out to others for support and guidance. I applaud her for the effort, and for taking on the challenge of writing a book for which she had to rely almost entirely on the memories of family and friends.
mikolee's review against another edition
2.0
I received this as a good reads giveaway. Thanks Good reads! This memoir tells the story of the authors head injury and amnesia when she was a young mom with two little kids. Told in a straightforward almost clinical manner. Surprising that there is little emotion, even in a section where she discovers horrible secrets about her husband. I kept wondering if this was an affectation caused by the head injury but since she had a co writer (who wrote a Washington post story about her which lead to this book) it should have been filled with more detail and passion and intrigue.
hollowspine's review against another edition
3.0
Another reminder that the organ we rely on most is not only fragile and complex, but also of how little we know about how it functions. Su Meck found out first hand just how devastating a traumatic brain injury is, not only in terms of daily functioning, but also for our very sense of self. Meck still wonders just who she was before her brain injury, as she has no memories of her past, not of growing up, her parents and siblings her own thoughts, actions and beliefs.
At the time of her injury doctors couldn't explain her combination of short and long term memory loss and (in the beginning) her inability to create new memories. When she awoke in the hospital she couldn't feed herself and didn't have a memory of her family members or of things, such as forks. Over time she was able to regain the ability to create memories and recall them, but a tedious process much different than those of us who have not had a TBI (traumatic brain injury).
Not only a tale of Meck's own resiliance and determination to overcome the challenges she faced, but also an amazing tale of how the human brain heals itself, creates new pathways around damaged areas and forges ever forward, truly amazing how complex our brains are and after the horror of their relative fragility the good news that they seem to be able to create new networks and regain health.
It was a bit difficult, aside from reading about her TBI, to read about how her friends changed her life possibly negatively just as a joke and how her husband used her brain injury to justify and help maintain his adulterous second life.
Those who are interested in either neuroscience or psychology may find this interesting, as well as those who enjoy biographies of normal people whose lives get thrown upside down by a single event, such as Augusten Burroughs memoirs, Rob Smith's "127 Hours", Janine Latus' book "If I am Missing or Dead."
At the time of her injury doctors couldn't explain her combination of short and long term memory loss and (in the beginning) her inability to create new memories. When she awoke in the hospital she couldn't feed herself and didn't have a memory of her family members or of things, such as forks. Over time she was able to regain the ability to create memories and recall them, but a tedious process much different than those of us who have not had a TBI (traumatic brain injury).
Not only a tale of Meck's own resiliance and determination to overcome the challenges she faced, but also an amazing tale of how the human brain heals itself, creates new pathways around damaged areas and forges ever forward, truly amazing how complex our brains are and after the horror of their relative fragility the good news that they seem to be able to create new networks and regain health.
It was a bit difficult, aside from reading about her TBI, to read about how her friends changed her life possibly negatively just as a joke and how her husband used her brain injury to justify and help maintain his adulterous second life.
Those who are interested in either neuroscience or psychology may find this interesting, as well as those who enjoy biographies of normal people whose lives get thrown upside down by a single event, such as Augusten Burroughs memoirs, Rob Smith's "127 Hours", Janine Latus' book "If I am Missing or Dead."
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