Reviews tagging 'Sexual violence'

Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft

12 reviews

pmhandley's review against another edition

hopeful informative reflective medium-paced

4.75

This is a book any woman/any person who dates men should read. I would really like a new edition since it's about 20 years old, however most of the insight and advice here is evergreen. Really hammers down that the problem with abusers is their values, and until they actually change their value system, you will not see changes in behavior. Even if you are like me and have never experienced an abusive relationship, this is vital information so you know what to look out for, how to help those around you and how not to enable abusers.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse

Moderate: Sexual violence and Violence

whatsmacksaid's review against another edition

challenging dark hopeful informative medium-paced

This is essentially a handbook for people in an abusive relationship, or people who think they might be, but aren't sure. The author speaks directly to that audience ("he might try XYZ, but this is to deliberately confuse you and escape responsibility," etc.) in a frank and readable way. 

It's a tough subject, obviously, but the book wasn't as depressing as I expected it to be. It's both an explainer of the mentalities abusive people hold and a guide to help abused people figure out their next steps. 

It's also worth mentioning that the author goes out of his way to explain that he's using binary gender terminology even though everything he writes about could apply to a same sex couple. He circles back to that multiple times.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse

Moderate: Violence

Minor: Sexual assault, Sexual violence, and Sexual harassment

maxenporter's review against another edition

challenging emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective tense medium-paced

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Violence, and Gaslighting

melanieripple's review against another edition

hopeful informative inspiring

5.0

This book is so important. Perfect for survivors (past or present) as well as allies. You don’t even need to read the whole thing - just skip around to whatever applies to your situation. It also has a whole section of resources in the back.

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Alcoholism, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Sexual violence, Violence, and Stalking

jokehelldo's review against another edition

emotional informative reflective slow-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, and Violence

Moderate: Child abuse, Incest, Rape, Sexual violence, and Gaslighting

Minor: Alcoholism

crybabybea's review against another edition

informative medium-paced

3.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Bullying, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Sexism, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, and Gaslighting

Moderate: Addiction and Sexual assault

literelli's review against another edition

challenging informative slow-paced

5.0

An excellent resource for a victim of abuse and their family/ friends that explains methods an abuser uses and how abuse is a choice and a reflection on the abusers core values. 
Some bits were shocking to me, but it was valuable for me to learn what to look out for, and to learn strategies to help partners of abusers. 
Despite being 20 years old this book is unfortunately still relevant today. 
I fully intend to continue my learning journey with more resources from this book. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual violence, Violence, and Abandonment

stguac's review

challenging dark hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

5.0

jesus uh. this is a must read.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Bullying, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexism, Sexual violence, Torture, Toxic relationship, Forced institutionalization, Police brutality, Grief, Gaslighting, Abandonment, and Sexual harassment

revisable4510's review against another edition

challenging informative medium-paced

3.75

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gun violence, Infidelity, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Violence, Gaslighting, and Injury/Injury detail

Moderate: Addiction, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Incest, Stalking, Murder, and Alcohol

Minor: Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Cursing, Drug abuse, Fatphobia, Homophobia, Mental illness, Racism, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Blood, Religious bigotry, Lesbophobia, and Abandonment

jjjreads's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective fast-paced

5.0

Though it's aimed at people in potentially abusive romantic relationships, this book is relevant to anyone who interacts with any other humans. I cannot stress enough how important this book is, how helpful it is, and how much it will improve any and all of your relationships. Even if you don't feel that you're being abused - even if you're not in a romantic relationship at all - reading this book will at the very least show you how to care about the people around you, and how to care about yourself.

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Ableism, Addiction, Alcoholism, Animal cruelty, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Confinement, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Gun violence, Infidelity, Mental illness, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Racism, Rape, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Violence, Kidnapping, Grief, and Stalking