Reviews tagging 'Violence'

Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft

16 reviews

pmhandley's review against another edition

hopeful informative reflective medium-paced

4.75

This is a book any woman/any person who dates men should read. I would really like a new edition since it's about 20 years old, however most of the insight and advice here is evergreen. Really hammers down that the problem with abusers is their values, and until they actually change their value system, you will not see changes in behavior. Even if you are like me and have never experienced an abusive relationship, this is vital information so you know what to look out for, how to help those around you and how not to enable abusers.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse

Moderate: Sexual violence and Violence

whatsmacksaid's review against another edition

challenging dark hopeful informative medium-paced

This is essentially a handbook for people in an abusive relationship, or people who think they might be, but aren't sure. The author speaks directly to that audience ("he might try XYZ, but this is to deliberately confuse you and escape responsibility," etc.) in a frank and readable way. 

It's a tough subject, obviously, but the book wasn't as depressing as I expected it to be. It's both an explainer of the mentalities abusive people hold and a guide to help abused people figure out their next steps. 

It's also worth mentioning that the author goes out of his way to explain that he's using binary gender terminology even though everything he writes about could apply to a same sex couple. He circles back to that multiple times.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse

Moderate: Violence

Minor: Sexual assault, Sexual violence, and Sexual harassment

maxenporter's review against another edition

challenging emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective tense medium-paced

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Violence, and Gaslighting

clementine_lips's review against another edition

challenging dark informative medium-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Toxic relationship, and Violence

vainnerj's review against another edition

challenging emotional informative medium-paced

5.0

Should be required reading for all women, mental health professionals and those who work in related fields. A bit dated but still unbelievably valuable. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, and Violence

melanieripple's review against another edition

hopeful informative inspiring

5.0

This book is so important. Perfect for survivors (past or present) as well as allies. You don’t even need to read the whole thing - just skip around to whatever applies to your situation. It also has a whole section of resources in the back.

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Alcoholism, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Sexual violence, Violence, and Stalking

jokehelldo's review against another edition

emotional informative reflective slow-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, and Violence

Moderate: Child abuse, Incest, Rape, Sexual violence, and Gaslighting

Minor: Alcoholism

lottiegasp's review against another edition

challenging emotional informative sad slow-paced

4.75

This book gives insight into the behaviours and thinking of angry, controlling and abusive men. Namely that they have a sense of entitlement and disrespect for their partner and children, and that domestic abuse is not about losing control, or a consequence of mental health issues, substance abuse or trauma. It provides guidance for victims of domestic abuse in understanding their partner, keeping themselves and their children safe, leaving their partner if they want to, and noticing true signs of change. I highly recommend it to anybody to help them become better at understanding abuse, supporting victims and survivors, and working towards a society that does not codify abuse.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Violence, Murder, and Gaslighting

Moderate: Alcoholism, Child abuse, Drug use, and Sexual assault

Minor: Ableism

This book details domestic abuse, including emotional and physical violence. There are certain sections that discuss child abuse, substance abuse. The author occasionally uses ableist language (e.g. calling abusers' behaviour crazy or insane, despite asserting that abuse is not a mental health problem)

tacita's review against another edition

hopeful informative sad medium-paced

4.75

While severely biased toward the assumption of male-on-female dynamics, the actual descriptions of abusive behaviors are invaluable and specific. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Sexism, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Alcoholism, Drug abuse, Infidelity, Misogyny, Violence, Stalking, and Pregnancy

Minor: Incest

random19379's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional informative medium-paced

5.0

Great book. Only criticism is that he is pro cops.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Rape, Sexism, Toxic relationship, and Violence

Moderate: Racism

Minor: Ableism