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bookishmillennial's review
I don’t know why Grandmoan who she is, but I ain’t got to understand her. Sometimes we don’t get to understand things. People. We just got to try to be better than the things that spit us out.
This is an incredibly heavy read about generational trauma about a Black family in the south (Texas & Arkansas). The matriarch of their family is dying, and her family confronts the trauma they have put each other through. It pretty much starts off with pain, and just does not stop. It spans times from the 50s to current day, and every single family member is quietly suffering from the wounds that have been inflicted on them by others. You know the phrase “hurt people hurt people”? This book exemplifies and delivers that tenfold. 💔
I will say that it ends on a hopeful, brave note for one of the characters and her kids, as she decides they must talk to each other, and they cannot keep secrets from each other like she did with her siblings and older generations. She recognizes what kept them from healing, and she vehemently wants to break that cycle, because she wants better for her kids. She even notes that she doesn’t believe making a bad choice or harming someone makes the person who hurt her a bad person, but she just knows he is bad for her and her kids right now. That’s so gracious and compassionate of her to recognize, and more forgiving than most folks would be. It’s admirable, it’s devastating, and it’s incredibly raw.
See content warnings below and take care while reading.
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Animal cruelty, Animal death, Child abuse, Death, Miscarriage, Racial slurs, Racism, Rape, Sexual violence, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Blood, Police brutality, Grief, Abortion, Death of parent, Pregnancy, and Injury/Injury detail
arguhlincozzi's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Child death, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Gun violence, Incest, Infertility, Infidelity, Miscarriage, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racial slurs, Racism, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Excrement, Vomit, Dementia, Kidnapping, Grief, Abortion, Death of parent, Murder, Gaslighting, Abandonment, and Injury/Injury detail
Amazing but extremely painful book, even though it's all handled with care by the author. Important book.herwellreadlife's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Graphic: Death, Emotional abuse, Incest, Miscarriage, Pedophilia, Rape, and Death of parent
sarahjsnider's review against another edition
3.5
Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Incest, and Abortion
Moderate: Drug abuse, Miscarriage, Self harm, Violence, and Murder
Minor: Racial slurs
d0505's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.25
Graphic: Animal death, Emotional abuse, Incest, Infertility, Miscarriage, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicide, Violence, and Blood
Moderate: Bullying and Child abuse
serendipitysbooks's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Perish is a debut novel that really packs a punch and ripped my heart open. It opens with the Helen Jean, the family matriarch, on her death bed and family members gathering to say their goodbyes. But it immediately becomes clear that there are lots of complicated feelings, this isn’t a close united family, and Helen isn’t exactly beloved by all. The novel then unfolds in different time periods and from varying points of view, slowly revealing, layer by layer, the family history. And much of it is a dark history involving the legacy of abuse, inter-generational trauma and the cyclical nature of abuse. As such it is a difficult and confronting read. If child sexual abuse is a trigger this book may not be for you.
The writing was stellar. My heart broke for what the characters had borne, even as I wanted to rail against them for their own actions. I really appreciated the nuanced way the book explored the issue of children who are abused and then go on to abuse others. Another thing this book did so well was to highlight the harm done by silence and secrets and pretending not to see, harm done to both the victims and perpetrators of abuse. The fact that this story ended with openness and honesty, with talking and sharing, gave it an element of hope for me, a very welcome glimmer given the tough and confronting subject matter.
Graphic: Child abuse, Child death, and Incest
Moderate: Animal death and Miscarriage
kaitsteak's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Graphic: Animal cruelty, Animal death, Child abuse, Miscarriage, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, and Suicide
Moderate: Child death and Drug abuse
Minor: Addiction and Animal cruelty
carodonahue's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Animal cruelty, Animal death, Emotional abuse, Gun violence, Incest, Miscarriage, Pedophilia, Racial slurs, Dementia, and Death of parent
Moderate: Child abuse, Suicide, and Abortion
literaryintersections's review
4.5
One woman is truly violated as a child, and becomes pregnant from that rape. When she tries to abort it, she hears a voice say "bear it or perish yourself" and in order to save herself, she decides to keep the child, setting off a long line of generational trauma. And the trauma isn't just physical violence. It's the trauma felt and experiences when secrets are kept. When children are chosen over other children: loved differently or not at all. Helen Jean then passes this violence and trauma onto her 4 children, who all pass it along onto their children in various ways. Until Helen Jean's grandchildren realize that they need to do whatever they can to stop this cycle of violence.
I am honestly tearing up just writing this review because it is truly a devastating book. But it made me think a lot about the little and big violences that we experience everyday from our parents, families, grandparents. And how those traumas can be passed on in quite devastating ways. "No one enters violence for the first time by committing it". It's hard not to fault Helen Jean for her various actions and mistakes. But she experienced so much violence. She was so hurt. And hurt people HURT people.
Graphic: Child abuse, Incest, Infertility, Miscarriage, and Sexual violence
Moderate: Racism and Abortion