Reviews with content warning for Stalking - Thirteen Reasons Why

I chose this book at random when testing an issue with my Libby app. I've avoided the Netflix adaptation due to not liking the premise, so for all intents and purposes I should avoid the book as well. But here we are; I had it on loan from the library and chose to give it a chance.

Mistakes were made, but I don't necessarily regret reading Thirteen Reasons Why because I can finally say that my dislike is based on the actual content and not what I assumed based upon what a few other people have said. Hell, for as strongly as I feel, I don't even necessarily hate the book - I just hate how it's presented for such an emotionally vulnerable target audience. Were this a psychological horror, I wouldn't have judgment for how certain topics are handled because the dead girl wouldn't be a potential role model for the target demographic. I wouldn't snarl over how horribly it's portraying an already-stigmatized topic for a group filled with people who have the same thoughts and struggles as the girl whose suicide is turned into an adventure.

Do I think this book encourages teens to revenge-suicide, though? No. I think anyone that far gone was likely to end their lives anyway if they didn't get help. My problem is that this book portrays attempts to get help as ultimately useless and promotes the ideology that it's possible to "not care enough" and therefore be responsible for someone's suicide. In marketing itself toward melodramatic teens, this book opens a horrible floodgate wherein troubled youth may romanticize or idolize Hannah for finally getting people to care about her while also ending her own suffering. Or, conversely, it may convince a troubled kid that they're responsible when a friend or family member commits suicide. How cruel is that?!

But I digress. Let's cover the actual content of the book itself. (Aka: Why I Hate Hannah Baker: A Memoir Goodreads Review.) This may get ugly.

First off, as a psychological horror with Hannah as the antagonist, this is actually fairly fascinating and that's part of what kept me reading. It's also what made me tire very quickly of Clay (narrating character) giving commentary like the world's worst reaction channel. It breaks the flow and wrecks the attempt to make sense of Hannah's rambling. Just shut up and show us what's on the damn tapes! I don't need to hear him commenting internally about what Hannah said or know that he's walking down the street while he listens.

Hannah goes through so much effort to create a sick and twisted game of chicken with people she blames for either "not caring enough" or directly being one of the reasons she killed herself. She planned her own death, recorded seven tapes worth of drama and gossip addressing each of the people she blames, and mailed the tapes out under the threat that if they don't pass them along she'll have someone release a second set and share their dirty laundry with the whole world.

That's not someone at her wit's end ready to be done with life; that's a cold and calculated person plotting the best way she knows to make others pay attention to her. It's disgusting and I hope Hannah Baker rots in fictional people hell where she belongs.

Does she ever consider how little she cares about others while blasting them for not caring enough about her? Nope. Does she ever consider she may end up making people commit suicide under the unfair burden she's placed on their shoulders, blaming them for her own? No. Because if your world doesn't revolve around Hannah Baker, then you are a monster in her eyes.

But wait! Someone else agreed to go along with her stupid game and actually stalk the recipients to make sure they follow her rules. Who was it? A guy she sort of knew. She borrowed the tape recorder from him, recorded her Thirteen Reasons To Hide From Responsibility Of My Own Actions cassettes, and eventually mailed him the second set of tapes which he - someone who'd never done her wrong - then had to listen to in order to realize he wasn't one of the "reasons" for her death. And instead of going "okay, this is wrong, and it's not like she's alive to know I refuse," he actually goes along with her plan. Even when it means forcing a supposed friend of his to listen to horrible things without any warning.

But maybe Hannah wants to make the world better in her absence, right? Wrong. Everything, including the identity of a rapist, gets to remain secret if they play her game. She doesn't really care about making the world a better place or changing people; she just cares about torturing them for how she feels they've wronged her.

Their crimes? Hoo, boy, that's a doozy! Let's see the list...

Scapegoat 01:

Spoiler
Justin, her first kiss. He didn't live up to her expectations. Also, he bragged a little to his friends. Did he say he did more, or was that a rumour borne of him only saying he kissed her? Hannah doesn't know, but she blames him regardless.

Scapegoat 02:

Spoiler
A former "friend" - and I put it in quotations because despite saying he was a confidante and someone she used to hang out with daily, Hannah dismisses him as someone she never truly considered a friend. (Asshole.) She says to him in the tape: "So, to back up a bit, this tape isn't about why you did what you did, Alex. It's about the repercussions of what you did. [...] It's about those things you didn't plan -- things you couldn't plan."

What did Alex do? Put her name on a list as having a hot ass. That's all. What did she blame him for? A guy grabbed her ass in public and acted entitled to touch her body. Seriously. Does she name the groper? Nope. She absolves him of all sin as if the person who actually hurt her was a blameless victim with no means of self-control because that list "gave him an excuse" to touch her. Let's teach the kids that molesters aren't at fault when they have something tempting them!

Scapegoat 03:

Spoiler
The other former friend, Jessica, drifted apart from her. She also caused a scar during a fight Hannah instigated by patronizingly saying she'd "accept blame but it's not true" over the rumours she and Jessica's boyfriend were seeing each other. Hannah tries very hard not to accept her role in the fight, but if she'd been honest instead of catty then maybe Jessica wouldn't have snapped. (I mean, if Hannah gets to play the 'blame everyone else' game, then so should Jess!)

But it gets worse. It gets so, so much worse. See, Jessica is at a party and gets raped while passed out drunk. Hannah watches the whole thing without attempting to help and talks all about it on a later tape. So not only is she torturing Jessica by claiming she's a reason for suicide, she's damaging her unforgivably by telling her - and everyone else who listens - that she was date raped.

Scapegoat 04:

Spoiler
Tyler, a peeping tom. This is one of the few who actually did something morally wrong. However, Hannah stalks him and peeps in his window while recording the tape, so it's hard to feel like she isn't equally as bad. In fact, the grossly predatory way she speaks "to" him while camping outside his house really drives home the feeling that Hannah is just a psychopath out for revenge.

Scapegoat 05:

Spoiler
Courtney, who didn't want to be Hannah's bestie. They slightly bonded over trapping the peeping tom and Hannah thought that meant they should be the closest of pals after. She got upset that Courtney never said "goodbye" to her at the end of class - yes, really - and decided it meant Courtney was a terrible, evil, manipulative person (sorry, Han, that's just you looking in a mirror) who cared only about making people like her.

Courtney asks Hannah to go to a party with her because she needs a ride and that upsets Hannah because she's "being used" and how dare Courtney ask her to go along if they aren't going to hang out together the whole damn night. Eventually, while drunk, Courtney says something that's a reference to the fake sexcapades they used to catch Tyler - but doesn't mention that it was fake. Someone makes a crude remark as a result.

Scapegoat 06:

Spoiler
This is where Hannah's true selfishness begins to show. She tells the listener they have to go to a diner and wait awkwardly for fifteen minutes before they have "her permission" to order anything because it's what she did when waiting for her sixth "reason," Marcus, to show up for a date.

They were paired by a ridiculous love quiz for Valentine's Day and he thought they were having a mutual giggle about going on a date. So she waited for almost nothing... until he finally showed up. Later, he gets too handsy with her and she pushes him away, but that's not what she dwells upon. Nope, she's so terribly offended that he almost stood her up.

Scapegoat 07

Spoiler
Zach gets flustered and acts like - gasp - the foolish teen he is. He tries to help after he witnesses what Marcus did, but Hannah refuses to even say one word to him. Presumably feeling rejected or angry that she refused to be helped, Zach steals the papers from her compliment bag in Peer Communications class. Yep, that's it. A boy takes her little slips of paper and she's terribly distraught that she never gets to know if people noticed or liked her haircut. She also speculates that he probably was trying to ask her out on a dare instead of genuinely attempting to help, even though he never tried to get a date with her.

Scapegoat 08

Spoiler
Ryan takes a page of poetry from Hannah's notebook and uses it in his school newspaper collection of "lost and found" writings without her name attached. He calls it "scary," which offends her. And when nobody interprets it correctly, she's super upset. Yep, that's all.

Scapegoat 09

Spoiler
This is where I went from disliking Hannah to outright hating her. She says: "Hopefully, no one will hear these tapes except for those of you on this list, leaving any changes they bring to your lives completely up to you. Of course, if the tapes do get out, you'll have to deal with the consequences completely out of your control. So I sincerely hope you're passing them on."

Let that disgusting mindfuckery sink in. Then know that this is how Hannah prefaces the tape where she reveals Jessica was date raped. And since Hannah made a tape for Jessica earlier, that means the above quote is also aimed at her.

The first side of the tape addresses Clay, who gets the questionable honour of being "reason" nine. Hannah claims she's "sorry" and that he "doesn't belong on the list," but she put him there anyway and blackmailed him from beyond the grave into listening to a horrific pre-suicide manifesto.

They kissed at the same party where Jess was raped. Despite being into it, and initiating it, Hannah suddenly decides to start screaming "stop" at Clay and push him away. So, y'know, being a decent human being he asks if she's okay. She tells him to get out, and he does because clearly she wants to be left alone. However, the deep implication echoed by Clay's narration itself is that he should have refused to walk away. She actively ignores him from that point forward, and Clay is eaten up with the guilt of thinking maybe he should have reached out again... to the girl who pushed him away and refused to even meet his gaze in school again. Teaching young teens to ignore when someone says "go away" just in case they're actually secretly hoping you'll push them for more details is totally a great idea!

Scapegoat 10:

Spoiler
You'd think this would be the rapist, but no. It's Justin again, and finally for a reason he actually deserves. He allowed his friend to go into the room alone with Jess, who was unconscious, and rape her.

But here's the thing: Hannah heard them debating about it while in the room herself. Did she say "hey get out"? Did she scream? No. She hid in the closet and waited while he had his way with Jessica. All the while, crying about how it's just so unbearable sitting by while someone is raped. When it's over and they're alone again, Hannah doesn't even check on Jessica, call the police, or show any concern for anything except how icky she feels about witnessing rape.

Also, she says: "What about the other guy? Isn't what he did worse? Yes. Absolutely yes. But the tapes need to be passed on. And if I sent them to him, they would stop. Think about it. He raped a girl and would leave town in a second if he knew..." And that's the most pathetic, contrived proof that these tapes are only meant to bring posthumous attention to Hannah. Who cares if he moves to another town?! She didn't tell anyone or go to the police. He's free to rape again no matter what town he's in! But no, see, her pathetic game must continue and she just can't risk that he'll end it then and there.

Scapegoat 11:

Spoiler
Jenny sees Hannah stumbling at the party and offers her a ride home, but Jenny herself is too drunk to be driving and runs over a stop sign. They have a little argument and ultimately Hannah chooses not to, say, take the keys out of the ignition. Instead, she gets out of the car and lets Jenny drive off.

Someone else ends up getting in a crash at the site of the destructed stop sign - which, by the way, hadn't been a reflective, safe one in the first place according to Clay. So how does anyone know that it would've been seen? Clearly, Jenny didn't see it! And it was a rainy, dark night.

Why the hell is this a reason to kill herself? She's not the dead guy, nor a friend or family member!

Scapegoat 12:

Spoiler
This is the tape in which Hannah names and shames Bryce, not for what he did to Jessica - we only know this because Clay recognized his behaviour in the story where Hannah refused to name him - but for what... I'm not sure.

She gets into a hot tub with him and Courtney, who she decides to also namedrop and blame for walking away when Bryce gets touchy-feely. The most indication she gave that she didn't want him was a clenched jaw and turned head, which there's no way drunk-as-hell Courtney would have noticed from over on the other side of the hot tub, where she thought she'd been rejected for another girl. Courtney leaving is not at all the bad thing both Hannah and Clay make it out to be!

Worse, Hannah wants Bryce to use her. She wants this: the guy who date raped her former friend pushing past the body language of tense muscles and crying, so that she can use being raped-but-not-really as a final push toward suicide. No, I'm not being an ass, here; she directly says it: "You were touching me... but I was using you. I needed you, so I could let go of me, completely."

That's. Not. How. Depression. Works. She admits she never said no or tried to move away. And though she did cry and look away, she's expecting him to have noticed... despite knowing he's extremely drunk and self-centered. Don't get me wrong: he really is a rapist, from what he did to Jessica, but this is just so fucked up and twisted and wrong and not at all a good way to portray mental illness.

Scapegoat 13:

Spoiler
This one makes me sick. It makes me want to manifest Hannah into reality to salt and burn her ghost. She blames the school guidance counsellor for not magically fixing her in one, single visit.

She prefaces the tape, saying what Mr. Porter does will decide if she kills herself. She talks to him about what happened with Bryce, secretly recording the whole thing. She admits it wasn't rape and that the boy she hooked up with was drunk. She also says she doesn't want the legal avenue, so Mr. Porter offers her the only two options: either bring the boy in to talk one-on-one with him mediating or try to move on with her life.

Hannah gets deeply offended by the mere notion of moving on and decides to storm out. Not only that, but she gets mad that he doesn't chase after her - that he doesn't magically see what she thinks are clear 'signs' in the conversation and... what? Drag her back and throw her into a straight jacket? He's a teacher moonlighting as a guidance counsellor, not a therapist or a doctor. And besides, when she dropped a hint of suicide she backpedalled to say she didn't mean it that way. And before she stormed off, she said that she was going to get on with her life. Guess what that doesn't sound like? Suicidal ideology.

Worse than that, though, the very first tape in the beginning addressed number thirteen, this poor guy who tried to help. Hannah just didn't really want to be helped if it meant doing anything other than stewing in misery and anger. ("And you, lucky number thirteen, you can take the tapes straight to hell. Depending on your religion, maybe I'll see you there.")

Not the rapist. Not the molester. Not the peeping tom. No, the teacher who tried to offer advice to a girl who was too stubborn to actually be dissuaded from suicide. That's who gets the "burn in hell" vitriol. That's who gets ultimately blamed on causing Hannah to go through with the suicide and "proving people care, but not enough."

What a lovely message to send young teens who may be considering seeking help!

Bonus Round:

Spoiler
The ending glorifies Hannah's death by turning it and the "lessons Clay learned from the tapes" into a turning point which makes him reach out to another girl. Because social anxiety is just bad, m'kay. You never know when that person you aren't comfortable reaching out to could be desperate for someone to talk them out of suicide! Now, that's me taking what I get from it; Clay doesn't outright say that social anxiety is bad or that he's afraid the girl might kill herself, but given it happens the day after he mails off the tapes and is surrounded by many, many references to Hannah, I feel it's a fair inference to make.

So, yeah. I hate Hannah Baker. I detest the message this book seems to be sending - and how vastly different it is from the one advertised. I disapprove of this being YA lit. I hate the idea of a vulnerable teen taking a concept like this and deciding to do something stupid like close off from the teacher whose advice could very well save their life. Or worse.

Oh, and one more thing before I go. I didn't know where else to shove this "lovely" gem from Clay, so I'm tacking it onto the end because it's fairly indicative of how the topic of mental health is handled in this book:

That's why you did it. You wanted your world to collapse around you. You wanted everything to get as dark as possible.

That's. Not. How. Depression. Works. Most people struggling with all these dark, suicidal thoughts don't prance around going "wow I want everything to get so much worse so I can be pushed over the edge." What the hell, book?!

Why is Hannah such a romanticized "emo" trope you'd expect to find in the fanfic written by an edgy tween? Why is the girl we're supposed to sympathize with such a disgusting and horrible specimen? Why do so many people love it?

I wish I could understand. I tried to understand. Hell, I re-read a few passages just to try seeing them in a better way. But I just can't - I don't see anything other than slightly dangerous nonsense here.

Content Warnings

elyciaelsom's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional sad tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Content Warnings

clockworkstars's review against another edition

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Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No

1.0

No for me. Glamorize the suicide, not a good book. And please don't give this one to your suicidal/anxious/... friends. That will make them worst.

Content Warnings

ahopper7's review against another edition

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emotional sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

This book has actually been on my TBR shelf in my bookcase since it originally came out and as part of my goal to read through my TBR I actually decided to listen to the audiobook instead so I’m way late to the game. I do think the storytelling is an interesting angle, and since I listened to this, the story via audio tapes really came through. I also appreciate the theme of ‘the things you do and say to people matter, so how about everyone learn to be a little kinder, pay a little more attention’ lesson. I see a lot of complaints about this book for the “blaming” that Hannah is doing with her 13 reasons list, but from my perspective, I think those people are missing the mark in their judgment. As someone who attempted suicide when I was a teenage girl, I don’t see the audiotapes as blaming. I think it’s clear Hannah started out angry at everyone and everything that was snowballing, but towards the end I think you can hear/see the sadness and realization of self-blame. And she just couldn’t take it anymore, which is a sad reality of so many people. I also think people trying to say that most of her reasons were too trivial must forget what’s it was like to be a teen (hello, it’s all ‘the world is out to get me’ anyway) and also remember the audiotapes drop hints that this isn’t the whole story, which I also think is a point of the book - we all have our own shit going on at all the different parts of our lives (work, school, family, friends) and we only see a limited view of those parts for the people we have relationships with.

However, I do believe the author was a little clumsy in his set up and follow through of the suicide theme, and I think the vehicle in which the reader hears Hannah story through Clay was annoying.

Spoiler

Clay was an empty character really, and I get that he was there so we could hear the tapes after Hannah’s death, but the whole making him a tape but he really didn’t do anything felt off for me. I think it could have been more meaningful coming from another character, either someone who genuinely did something shitty, or if a forgivable/didn’t do anything wrong character was really necessary, Tony would have been the better option IMO.

Overall, I did at least connect with the story of how our actions affect others, and I think listening to the book is probably better than physically reading. Also - that teacher should have been fired.

Content Warnings

davidbythebay's review against another edition

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dark emotional sad fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Plot
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

1.0

I actually thought I may enjoy this book when I was beginning it. The writing is very nice and it did flow at a pretty good clip. My issue is with the subject matter and how it was handled. This is going to be scattered because I'm just frustrated by this irresponsible drivel.

I've been suicidal and live with bipolar disorder. I am thankfully doing well with medications and therapy. I know something about the subject matter. I hated the treatment of suicide here in several ways. First, it did feel like glamorizing suicide. Full stop. That's enough on that, especially since it was included in a number of other reviews.

<spoiler>Second, it was filled with victim blaming. Clay continually lays Hannah's decision squarely at her feet and says it was on her that she did this. As someone who was once yelled at for my suicidal talk when I was reaching out to a friend for help, I was triggered by this. Hannah is telling her story and listing the people whose behavior and interactions fed Hannah's thoughts. Clay then keeps reminding the dead Hannah that she had made up her mind and there was no helping her, that these events happened and at a certain point Hannah wanted to end her life and the events still to be explained were gratuitous "reasons" for her decision. Let's also take the detour to discuss the events of Jessica who was Hannah's friend, then not, then Hannah witnessed Jessica being raped while hiding and never said anything, then calls Jessica out for being a reason who Hannah wants to kill herself. So Jessica is a victim and a reason for Hannah, but also Hannah says that Jessica brought this on herself. That's not right. Consent is necessary for any sexual interaction. No person has the right to touch the person of another.

I don't see Hannah as a victim throughout this, in so far as she was not a victim of being pushed to suicide by these people. She was a victim of bullying and gossip, of bad toxic people, but not of being pushed to suicide. I do find her to be manipulative in sending these tapes out. I see her as being hypocritical by claiming exposing lies and rumors and gossip (whether true or not) is wrong then by airing all this dirty laundry to these people. Airing a crime to the proper authorities is one thing, and I guess eventually Mr. Porter may tell the authorities based on this tape as he is one of the names people, but I'm just talking about social infractions and teenage gossip she claims are so heinous as to cause her to be suicidal. And let me also say, I don't see how Mr. Porter could have really done anything differently except maybe being more empathetic and following up with Hannah's parents immediately or calling the police thinking Hannah was a danger to someone. Clay seems to think he could have done something. Was this teacher supposed to force her to stay? Tie her down and make her talk? I just don't see logic here at all.

Third, it is completely illogical. Hannah describes everyone as being a reason for her, a horrible sinner that must be exposed. But, she will only expose these people to the other sinners among them. All, of course, except our main man Clay who was brought into this list of crimes because Hannah really liked him and wanted to get to know him. The rest are guilty of a wide variety of crimes - literally, in some cases, these are illegal actions being described - and nobody seems to be doing anything about this. Now, I get that someone guilty of a crime under the law may not want to risk exposing the crime of another as it could expose their crime; HOWEVER, we have a rapist and a peeping tom! They far outweigh some of the "lesser" crimes. Hannah hints at her home life and issues there, but she blames only people in her school.

Then we come to Clay, who is our narrator and was sent these tapes. She tells him he did nothing wrong and he's not a reason. WHY INCLUDE HIM THEN? Why make him twist and play with him until it was his turn. And you included him because we needed to hear what happened there to then get to the rest of the people? Why couldn't you have just done the same thing you did throughout the entire tape, Hannah, and talk about someone without their name and either let others fill it in or continue without knowing who you are talking about? No logic! And Tony, the guy who was sent the tapes so Hannah could ensure the dirty dozen followed through and listened to all the tapes, got to hear the tapes which disproved Hannah's initial statement that only those sinners on her list of 13 reasons would hear of these crimes. There is at least one person outside of them, plus the apparently innocent Clay, who know all this disgusting truth about this town's teenagers.

But for crying out loud! Her "reasons" included nobody mentioning her haircut and a boy stealing her secret compliment notes. The notes could have easily been handled with a loud and public shaming of the boy via a "hey! That's mine!" Done. The hair? Yes, compliments on a change of hairstyle are always nice, but they shouldn't be so necessary. Petty.</spoiler>

Finally, my experiences being suicidal in the past and discussing this with others who have suicidal thoughts in their past agree: THIS IS NOT HOW SUICIDAL THINKING WORKS! Hannah's whole shtick is how awful these people were and that's why she killed herself. But there lacks the entire hopelessness of suicidal thought. Hannah keeps talking about how everyone let her down by not helping, but she only lists these events and people without anything more. There is no discussion of why this impacted her so. In fact, it just makes the entire thing feel like "Hey. Have a bad few days? Maybe a bad school year with the shit kids these days do? Suicide is the answer." WRONG! Wrong message. Wrong reasoning. Wrong. Read up on suicide from REPUTABLE websites and books (memoirs) and really get to see what it's like from better places than this.

The real issue in this book is that we have to be more aware of what's going on around us and compassionate to those people we interact with. Don't gossip. Don't rape. Don't peep. Do try to be decent. Do reach out and compliment and say hi and notice when someone is going through something. Great messages. But they are given at the periphery of a story focused on mean people and actual criminals being blamed for a suicide.

I'm annoyed read that. My first 1 star of 2022 and it's April 8th. Only 1 star for the good writing and great pacing. But, the streak is over. Thank God is was quick and over with now.

Content Warnings

thebibliobibuli's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional informative reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

Content Warnings

jarnbooks's review

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dark emotional reflective sad fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Plot
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

The story was okay. Not my favorite book but it’s not the worst book I’ve read dealing with Mental Health. The characters are pretty surface level and we learn little about them as people (other than the things they did to Hannah).

Clay seems like too perfect of a character and is even admitted to “never hearing anything bad” about him. And Hannah is Clay’s Manic Pixie Dream Girl. We only know other characters based on what Hannah says about them and Clay’s non-insightful opinions of them.

The book overall just made me uncomfortable. Not because of the content. Because it just seemed like a twisted revenge-fantasy of a teenager wanting to get back at those who wronged her. For a book this critically-acclaimed, I hated that. Suicide isn’t revenge. What’s left behind isn’t revenge either. Other than that, Hannah is a realistic portrayal of someone that is thinking about Suicide. There were moments where I used to relate to what she was doing or saying.

The prose is good. It’s pretty fast paced and it keeps you entertained wondering what the next tape/reason will say.

Content Warnings

bmay06's review against another edition

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dark emotional reflective fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? N/A
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

Content Warnings

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