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ereidsma's review
2.0
kind of like a sermon I heard a couple of weeks ago that seemed shallow and really didn't like, but I said,"it was meant for someone else rather than me" Later that week I heard several people comment how they were touched by that sermon. This book started out good, I thought I was going to really like it. It has some good points about what is success and being authentic but it was about a guy with anger issues and really wasn't meant for me, but I'm sure others will connect with it.
thebeardedpoet's review
5.0
Bo's Cafe dramatizes what the church could be if we were real with each other and were willing to be vulnerable rather than putting on a Sunday morning mask. The focus is one man prone to outbursts of anger who has emotionally wounded his wife to point where she is ready to walk away. Thanks to a stranger who takes an interest and gives the gift of his time and his experience, the angry man begins to recognize the broken places inside himself which gave rise to his outbursts of anger. The overall message is that people need people and that God uses community and honesty to bring about healing. The novel portrays well that none of this is a quick fix. Healing only comes when we invest in each other for long haul and risk exposing our own brokenness.
demo0072's review
emotional
funny
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
mattpfarr's review against another edition
4.0
This is a story about a young executive who is thrust by getting kicked out of his house due to his outbursts of anger into the journey or realizing his true self. After living his life in a facade to cover up his own pain and guilt he is in a very stubborn denial of his own issues. This is a journey that everyone should take; I wish I had many years earlier than I did. The book does a pretty good job of portraying for the most part. There are some missteps, some that really pulled me out of it. But overall it was well crafted and kept my interest.
A bit of a spoiler but one of the missteps really was hard to overlook. In one scene it is basically confirmed that his wife has a relationship with a man that falls pretty hard into emotional affair. He understandably gets upset and has an outburtst (who wouldn't?). The issue is never addressed again except to illustrate how much he still has anger even though he claimed to be over it. He confronts her in her denial and deceptions regarding it but she just completely pivots and blows it off as he is getting too angry. I mean, of course. If you have an inappropriate relationship outside of your marriage it is probably going to upset your spouse. Whether the reaction is an overreaction or not doesn't really change that you betrayed them in some way. This is a major plot mistake that made it hard for me to get back into the actual message of the story which is a good one. To note, in my study group that read it, I was the only one who saw this that way so maybe it is a personal thing.
A bit of a spoiler but one of the missteps really was hard to overlook. In one scene it is basically confirmed that his wife has a relationship with a man that falls pretty hard into emotional affair. He understandably gets upset and has an outburtst (who wouldn't?). The issue is never addressed again except to illustrate how much he still has anger even though he claimed to be over it. He confronts her in her denial and deceptions regarding it but she just completely pivots and blows it off as he is getting too angry. I mean, of course. If you have an inappropriate relationship outside of your marriage it is probably going to upset your spouse. Whether the reaction is an overreaction or not doesn't really change that you betrayed them in some way. This is a major plot mistake that made it hard for me to get back into the actual message of the story which is a good one. To note, in my study group that read it, I was the only one who saw this that way so maybe it is a personal thing.
dankeohane's review
3.0
I enjoyed this book, acknowledging that it's really a non-fiction, advice-filled book, wrapped and thinly disguised as a novel. But that's OK, the device of the story of Stephen and Adam is a good one and in many ways interesting - as long as we allow ourselves to see ourselves in Stephen's mindset. The concept of needing to "fix" ourselves to save a marriage or (fill in the blank), rather than truly open up - to someone else, as a mentor, or more than one person - and be honest with ourselves about weaknesses, past shame, etc. Honestly, two specific paragraphs at the top of pages 155 and 164 (of paperback) made the read totally worth it in my book. Reading them out of context, probably not, so don't let those references act as Cliff Notes :) .
Reading this for men's group at church and has already fueled some interesting conversations.
Reading this for men's group at church and has already fueled some interesting conversations.
faithfulgirl4's review
4.0
High-powered executive Steven Kerner is living the dream in southern California. But when his bottled pain ignites in anger one night, his wife kicks him out. Then an eccentric mystery man named Andy Monroe befriends Steven and begins unravelling his tightly wound world. Andy leads Steven through a series of frustrating and revealing encounters to repair his life through genuine friendship and the grace and love of a God who has been waiting for him to accept it. A story to challenge and encourage, BO'S CAFE is a model for all who struggle with unresolved problems and a performance-based life. Those who desire a fuller, more authentic way of living will find this journey of healing a restorative exploration of God's unbridled grace.
My Review:
Do you know Lindsey and Steven? Unfortunately, many of us do. Too well. We just don't want to admit it though!
The authors of this book have chosen to highlight the topic of rocky messages with wit, humor, and a very serious overtone all at the same time. Steven runs into Andy one night while at the local bar. By the end of the night, Steven is wishing Andy would just disappear! They both need each other to work through issues in their lives. But will it cost Steven his marriage or save it?
Lindsey is tired of all of Steven's antics...coming home late, ignoring their daughter Jennifer, and always being angry. What lessons does she learn from Steven, Andy, and most importantly, God?
Bo's Cafe is the focal point for the changes that need to occur. There's a lot more than shrimp on the menu there!
Please be sure to visit these other bloggers who have reviewed this book recently as well:
September 28th
http://deenasbooks.blogspot.com
http://www.thinkinggirlsguide.blogspot.com
http://frugalplus.com/
http://bridget3420.blogspot.com/
http://abookbloggersdiary.blogspot.com/
September 29th
http://sharonsgardenofbookreviews.blogspot.com/
http://libslibrary.blogspot.com/
http://metroreader.blogspot.com/
http://reviewfromhere.com/
http://www.runpinne.blogspot.com/
http://momofajl.blogspot.com/
September 30th
http://dixie-afewofmyfavoritethings.blogspot.com/
http://www.mgpblog.com/
http://bookinwithbingo.blogspot.com/
http://www.cornhuskeracademy.blogspot.com
http://homespunlight.blogspot.com/
http://readinggroupguides.com/blog/blog.asp
October 1st
http://books-movies-chinesefood.blogspot.com/
http://hopeofglory.typepad.com/
http://booktumbling.wordpress.com/
http://www.hip2bhomeschooling.blogspot.com
http://www.psalm516.blogspot.com
October 2nd
http://berlysue.blogspot.com/
http://bookjourney.wordpress.com/
http://molcotw.blogspot.com
http://martasmeanderings.blogspot.com
http://justanothernewblog.blogspot.com/
http://word-up-studies.blogspot.com/
http://tsuzanneeller.com
http://www.crazy-for-books.com/
Thank you to Miriam and the Hatchett Book Group for the review copy of this book!
Overall rating: 4.8
My Review:
Do you know Lindsey and Steven? Unfortunately, many of us do. Too well. We just don't want to admit it though!
The authors of this book have chosen to highlight the topic of rocky messages with wit, humor, and a very serious overtone all at the same time. Steven runs into Andy one night while at the local bar. By the end of the night, Steven is wishing Andy would just disappear! They both need each other to work through issues in their lives. But will it cost Steven his marriage or save it?
Lindsey is tired of all of Steven's antics...coming home late, ignoring their daughter Jennifer, and always being angry. What lessons does she learn from Steven, Andy, and most importantly, God?
Bo's Cafe is the focal point for the changes that need to occur. There's a lot more than shrimp on the menu there!
Please be sure to visit these other bloggers who have reviewed this book recently as well:
September 28th
http://deenasbooks.blogspot.com
http://www.thinkinggirlsguide.blogspot.com
http://frugalplus.com/
http://bridget3420.blogspot.com/
http://abookbloggersdiary.blogspot.com/
September 29th
http://sharonsgardenofbookreviews.blogspot.com/
http://libslibrary.blogspot.com/
http://metroreader.blogspot.com/
http://reviewfromhere.com/
http://www.runpinne.blogspot.com/
http://momofajl.blogspot.com/
September 30th
http://dixie-afewofmyfavoritethings.blogspot.com/
http://www.mgpblog.com/
http://bookinwithbingo.blogspot.com/
http://www.cornhuskeracademy.blogspot.com
http://homespunlight.blogspot.com/
http://readinggroupguides.com/blog/blog.asp
October 1st
http://books-movies-chinesefood.blogspot.com/
http://hopeofglory.typepad.com/
http://booktumbling.wordpress.com/
http://www.hip2bhomeschooling.blogspot.com
http://www.psalm516.blogspot.com
October 2nd
http://berlysue.blogspot.com/
http://bookjourney.wordpress.com/
http://molcotw.blogspot.com
http://martasmeanderings.blogspot.com
http://justanothernewblog.blogspot.com/
http://word-up-studies.blogspot.com/
http://tsuzanneeller.com
http://www.crazy-for-books.com/
Thank you to Miriam and the Hatchett Book Group for the review copy of this book!
Overall rating: 4.8
freudfries's review
4.0
This book didn't have the best writing, and even though I listened to the audible version, it was still a little rough to endure. But, the message in this book was powerful. I'm glad my mentors chose this book to be the first to read as we embark on our nine-month mentorship program. Most Christian fiction, or Christian media in general, can be a little rough around the edges and a little "bible thumper" but Bo's Cafe didn't have any of that!
It showed the necessity of community, of feeling like you can be yourself with other Christians, and the necessity of vulnerability. We're so focused on feeling as if we need to be perfect, to never show our flaws to the world, but only until we're open and honest about our mistakes and imperfections was we set out to change ourselves for the better and accepting of others. It's easy for us to admit that we're not perfect; it's not always nice to be reminded of, but we have a hard time remembering that other people struggle just like we do. We need to give other's the liberty to grow, just like we give ourselves that same liberty.
Look past the writing and look deeper into the message and you'll find God speaking to you, and you'll find your "safe place".
It showed the necessity of community, of feeling like you can be yourself with other Christians, and the necessity of vulnerability. We're so focused on feeling as if we need to be perfect, to never show our flaws to the world, but only until we're open and honest about our mistakes and imperfections was we set out to change ourselves for the better and accepting of others. It's easy for us to admit that we're not perfect; it's not always nice to be reminded of, but we have a hard time remembering that other people struggle just like we do. We need to give other's the liberty to grow, just like we give ourselves that same liberty.
Look past the writing and look deeper into the message and you'll find God speaking to you, and you'll find your "safe place".
cocoonofbooks's review against another edition
2.0
There's a great irony at play with this book. The overriding theme of this book (besides turning your life over to Jesus) is to take off your mask, be real, and not try to hide anything about yourself. And yet the book itself is clearly written with an agenda that seemed to me to be painfully clear. I didn't realize until I was done that it was written by three guys who are all part of the same religious organization, but it makes complete sense given how the book is written.
It's not a bad message, certainly: We all have flaws, and when we continue to make promises not to screw up, and focus solely on our behaviors rather than the underlying feelings driving them, we inevitably fail and lead others to not trust us. In the case of the protagonist of Bo's Cafe, Steven, the problem is anger driven by shame and a fear of being seen as less than, which has driven his wife away from him. He finds an unconventional mentor in Andy, an old friend of his father's, and eventually confronts the underlying issues leading to his anger and his wife's distrust. Of course, he must do this by entering into an honest relationship with Jesus and opening himself up to God's grace.
The problems I had with this book were many of the same ones I had with the movie Courageous, also a product of "Christian media." I think people who are so deep into Christian culture have lost touch with how non-Christians actually think and talk. Of course, Steven says he is a Christian in the book, but he seems to be intended to represent those people who are Christian in name only. So when Andy starts talking about God, the authors write Steven's reaction how they think a non-Christian or nominal Christian would respond, and it's somewhat ridiculous. Another issue reminiscent of Courageous is that the main characters are all white, while there are a few minority characters relegated to sidekicks or comic relief.
The character of Andy essentially teaches what a good psychologist would teach you, but he kind of dismisses counselors and psychologists for not getting to the root issue, which, of course, is one's relationship with God. In fact, the book emphasizes that Andy and Steven's mentoring relationship is one in a long line of relationships — Andy's mentor, her mentor before her, and the woman who has come to Steven at the end of the book to seek mentoring. It reinforces the problematic notion that God and other, older Christians ("real" ones, not preachy ones) are ALL you should need to get your life together, no matter your issues.
I think this book could be really good for a particular type of person. I found it via a recommendation by Tony DiLorenzo, one of the hosts of the One Extraordinary Marriage podcast, and it's the kind of book that was made for a guy like Tony — a committed Christian who struggles with anger issues (and also happens to live in California near where the story takes place). But the book's agenda does not seem to be "Get Christians to seek help for their problems (including counseling when necessary)." It seems to be, "Let's write a book about guys, that includes lots of stuff about sports and cars and boats, and it will be recommended by guys to other guys who have problems and they'll come to Jesus that way." And the varnish just isn't thick enough to keep that agenda from showing through. The authors would do better to stick to nonfiction (which they've also written) to communicate their message about authentic faith, grace, and trusting God.
It's not a bad message, certainly: We all have flaws, and when we continue to make promises not to screw up, and focus solely on our behaviors rather than the underlying feelings driving them, we inevitably fail and lead others to not trust us. In the case of the protagonist of Bo's Cafe, Steven, the problem is anger driven by shame and a fear of being seen as less than, which has driven his wife away from him. He finds an unconventional mentor in Andy, an old friend of his father's, and eventually confronts the underlying issues leading to his anger and his wife's distrust. Of course, he must do this by entering into an honest relationship with Jesus and opening himself up to God's grace.
The problems I had with this book were many of the same ones I had with the movie Courageous, also a product of "Christian media." I think people who are so deep into Christian culture have lost touch with how non-Christians actually think and talk. Of course, Steven says he is a Christian in the book, but he seems to be intended to represent those people who are Christian in name only. So when Andy starts talking about God, the authors write Steven's reaction how they think a non-Christian or nominal Christian would respond, and it's somewhat ridiculous. Another issue reminiscent of Courageous is that the main characters are all white, while there are a few minority characters relegated to sidekicks or comic relief.
The character of Andy essentially teaches what a good psychologist would teach you, but he kind of dismisses counselors and psychologists for not getting to the root issue, which, of course, is one's relationship with God. In fact, the book emphasizes that Andy and Steven's mentoring relationship is one in a long line of relationships — Andy's mentor, her mentor before her, and the woman who has come to Steven at the end of the book to seek mentoring. It reinforces the problematic notion that God and other, older Christians ("real" ones, not preachy ones) are ALL you should need to get your life together, no matter your issues.
I think this book could be really good for a particular type of person. I found it via a recommendation by Tony DiLorenzo, one of the hosts of the One Extraordinary Marriage podcast, and it's the kind of book that was made for a guy like Tony — a committed Christian who struggles with anger issues (and also happens to live in California near where the story takes place). But the book's agenda does not seem to be "Get Christians to seek help for their problems (including counseling when necessary)." It seems to be, "Let's write a book about guys, that includes lots of stuff about sports and cars and boats, and it will be recommended by guys to other guys who have problems and they'll come to Jesus that way." And the varnish just isn't thick enough to keep that agenda from showing through. The authors would do better to stick to nonfiction (which they've also written) to communicate their message about authentic faith, grace, and trusting God.
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