melgonvyn's review

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Interesting topic and I can’t say I didn’t learn a few things from this book. But I think I got a little caught off guard when I started reading as it wasn’t what I was expecting at all from the title and the cover (although I know I shouldn’t judge a book by its cover).

I appreciate the intent behind the content but just didn’t feel it was anything new from what I usually hear about improving myself and my communication.

I really tried, but after a while just decided I wasn’t going to get through this. Perhaps it will speak to some, but for me it didn’t quite do it.

I would like to express my sincere gratitude to the author, the publishers and the NetGalley team for providing me with an Advanced copy. I cherished this opportunity to read it in exchange for an honest review.

ywanderingreads's review

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I was most intrigued with this title. As an educator, I feel there are many things we can teach our children, not just in an academic sense but also how to empathise and be kind to others and learning how to say no.

This self-help by Alice Sheldon talks about understanding a person’s needs. She calls it the ‘Needs Understanding’ approach. How can we better understand our own needs and the needs of others? How do we compromise? It all comes down to being kind and empathising with others. By doing this, we are able to create a more meaningful and understanding relationship with others and more importantly, ourselves. A few things I’ve learned from this:

- When someone opens up to us, we tend to unintentionally be quick to give advice instead of giving our full attention by listening first. I am sometimes definitely guilty of this, sorry friends!
- Validating someone’s feelings doesn’t mean that we agree with their perspective, only that we understand them.
- Do not be quick to shut out your judgemental thoughts, understand why you have them in the first place.
- We are our own worst critique. Instead of being so harsh on ourselves, we can learn to understand ourself with compassion and take care of them in a way that works for us.
- We tend to see taking care of our needs as selfish and that we need to be more productive but we sometimes we fail to realise that by taking care of our needs better, we make room to be a better person for others. We should never have to feel guilty for taking care of ourselves first. This is something I am still learning to do.
- Learning to compromise and saying no. How many times have we wanted to say no to something but ended up saying yes? Saying no is not a bad thing, instead this can teach us to compromise and validate our feelings to others. In turn, we might come up with solutions that could surprise us.

I know there are already many books out there that touch on this topic but what I enjoy about this is that there are pause boxes at the end of each section which I feel are good journal prompts and also good for creating boundaries for yourself and understanding your needs a little better. I like that Sheldon’s writing is straight to the point and she gives real-life examples that everyone can relate to. I caught myself thinking about situations I’ve been in and how I could have handled them better.

Thank you Netgalley and Practical Inspiration Publishing for the arc!