nicki_j's review against another edition
5.0
This is probably more of a 4.5 star book for me but I found it very compelling so I rounded up.
At first, I was decidedly unsympathetic to Shapiro because I felt that she was placing too much emphasis on biology. After all, what if a person who was adopted was reading her words? Certainly their adoptive parents, who raised them, who changed their diapers, wiped their face, drove them to school, cheered at their graduation, etc. ARE their parents, biology be damned. But as I read on, I realized that Shapiro's very fraught relationship with her parents, already so precarious, informed her extreme reaction. It wasn't so much the substance of this secret but the fact of the secret itself that unmoored her. I think if she had had a normal relationship with either parent or if she had been able to ask one of her parents for the truth, she may not have had the same reaction. So, I ended up chiding myself for judging Shapiro when I am not in her shoes and really respecting her emotions as valid.
Shapiro is a strong writer and I loved the interspersion of poetry and prose within the factual memoir. I will definitely read more from her.
At first, I was decidedly unsympathetic to Shapiro because I felt that she was placing too much emphasis on biology. After all, what if a person who was adopted was reading her words? Certainly their adoptive parents, who raised them, who changed their diapers, wiped their face, drove them to school, cheered at their graduation, etc. ARE their parents, biology be damned. But as I read on, I realized that Shapiro's very fraught relationship with her parents, already so precarious, informed her extreme reaction. It wasn't so much the substance of this secret but the fact of the secret itself that unmoored her. I think if she had had a normal relationship with either parent or if she had been able to ask one of her parents for the truth, she may not have had the same reaction. So, I ended up chiding myself for judging Shapiro when I am not in her shoes and really respecting her emotions as valid.
Shapiro is a strong writer and I loved the interspersion of poetry and prose within the factual memoir. I will definitely read more from her.
rachoo99's review
3.0
I think it’s really difficult to give a review on a book that is clearly so dear to the author. It is her story. It is a little long but I think that it’s a fascinating story.
I read this because I love her Family Secrets Podcast.
I read this because I love her Family Secrets Podcast.
christiek's review
4.0
I wasn’t particularly compelled by the synopsis of this book. My response was, “oh people worrying about things to which I have no connection or concern." I do not believe that if I discovered similar news, it would tilt my sense of being. I was all set to overlook the book, but so many people said it was a must read, that I picked it up. I am very glad I did. I found Shapiro’s story fascinating, and the inner work she must do was thoughtful and engaging. She manages to generate in me concern for her existential crisis and understanding for her strong connection to family that I do not share. I come away better knowing and feeling the values of someone who is not me (and *that* is exactly why I read).
l3m0nad3's review against another edition
4.0
What happens when your DNA doesn't match? A tear filled story about family, DNA, and finding the truth so many years later. What happens to the families, what happens to ethics, how do you recover? can you recover?
This is really good, almost 5 stars.
This is really good, almost 5 stars.
kdtoverbooked's review
3.0
This book was selected for my book club. In it, a woman finds out through a commercial DNA test that her dad is, in fact, not her dad. I am sure that this a story that a lot of people will be able to identify with. I certainly felt her plight, but thought she was highly dramatic about it. Perhaps it is because I come from a marriage in which neither my husband or I are 100% of our paternal side medical issues, which definitely seemed to be a big hang up for her. If you are struggling with your paternity results late in life and have no one talk to about them, maybe you will find some solace in this book.
kjboldon's review
4.0
An engrossing read, full of surprises. I assumed, when I read about how the author learned she had different DNA from her father, that her mother had had an affair. The real story is much more bizarre and labyrinthine. This is both a good mystery, and an examination of nature/nurture and identity. I wish the author had pushed for more insight in her relationship with her sister Susie. In all Shspiro's memoirs, I think Susie gets less compassion than other family members.
jess_segraves's review
5.0
Heartwrenching. Strangely, as a transnational adoptee, I also found this incredibly moving and relatable.
princess_toria90's review
4.0
This was my first reading of Dani Shapiro. I was able to finish this book quickly. The story is captivating and I always wanted to know what was on the next page. Her outlook on life is so interesting and it is surreal to imagine the events laid out in her book. The story is communicated beautiful and I really felt for Dani while she adjusted to the new perspective on everything.