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antony_monir's review against another edition
3.0
Belonging by Cohen is a popular psychology book that focuses on the issues of belonging that are common in society and how we can fix them using “situation-crafting”. The book is divided into three sections: 1 - Introduction to belonging and situation-crafting, 2 - Issues related to belonging & 3 - How to use situation-crafting to solve some of these issues. The book is decently well written and structured. My issue, as with many other popular psychology books, is with the content itself. The main thesis of the book is that many issues that cause polarization of people and discrimination/hatred are due to misunderstandings and biases. To an extent, this is correct and it is also true that people’s environments affect their reasoning. The book then argues that some of these issues can be alleviated using an old social psychology trick called “situation-crafting”. I always find it odd when people try to sell me on an “ancient forgotten” technique because I feel like if it really worked, it wouldn’t have been forgotten or so someone else would have rediscovered it. Regardless of that, Cohen claims that situation-crafting, first discovered by the eminent Kurt Lewin is the solution to many of our conflicts. I am sure that this is true for some interpersonal conflicts (like arguments between friends over something silly) or for some minor intergroup conflicts based on arbitrary factors (such as two classrooms fighting over which classroom is better). What I take issue with is that Cohen then claims that these psychological tricks can help us solve issues of racism, police brutality, and even political conflict. In large parts of the boom he cites studies as evidence that his ancient magical techniques can help us solve many of our problems yet many of his studies have failed to be replicated and a good scientist would not base their judgment purely on such studies. Also, Cohen dangerously implies that a large part of modern society’s conflicts are due to a matter of different opinions and not different values. It is not that we have different values when we are looking at issues such as abortion, but merely that we see the problem differently. Therefore, by talking with someone from the “other side” we can find a middle ground and solve our issues. Again, this may be true for some things, but it isn’t for most things especially not political decisions that affect marginalized communities. You can argue all you want about how you see a fetus as a human being but when you are ready to sacrifice another living being for a potential one, this is not a matter of opinion but of opposing values. I could go on forever about the myriad of weird examples that Cohen provides but it would make this review too long and I don’t feel like typing it out. This book is fine and helpful if you want to see how you can make people feel more welcome around you. Other than that, you’d be better off actually trying to understand the root causes of the issues and not just applying a band-aid empathy exercise to fix the problem. Final rating: 3/5.
ayo_killjoie's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
4.5
readermeginco's review against another edition
4.5
A social pyschologist who has spent his career studying the the sense of "belonging" on college campuses explores the importance of social connection, how the situations of our everyday life foster it, and what it means to create an inclusive workplace, school, and society. The case studies are fascinating. Every leader should read this one!
aignerloren's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
3.75
mccarthygirl25's review against another edition
challenging
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
5.0
This book surprised me. I got it on a Goodreads Giveaway in hopes of reading more psychology books and it was that but also very philosophical. Belonging made me realize why I love going to Taylor Swift concerts or going to School Psychology conferences. Those are my people, those people make me feel seen. The author also talks about the political divide we currently are in right now. How the fundamental attribution error can overly simplify our understanding of others. For example, you committed a crime so you must lack character. We should realize how little we understand other peoples circumstances. For example, I think if people realized there are more factors in a person’s life then just being “lazy” on why they may be lower SES. I think it all goes back to empathy and there’s not a lot of empathy in a patriarchal society. I really do believe that if people had more experiences with people that weren’t like them, there would be more peace in the world. It also talks about belonging on a college campus and how they aren’t always welcoming to minority students. It talks about research on how white college students may not have the same feeling of belonging that minority students do because in the past minority students weren’t welcome. This also includes women. For example, I remember reading that at one time Harvard lecture halls didn’t even have a ladies bathroom. This book really focuses on how important social policy and systematic change are to addressing the crisis of belonging.
“His views had changed not because of those arguments, though, but because he had come to identify with a group whose members he cared about and that advocated, and lived by norms of tolerance. He was also affirmed by those in the group, which, as we’ll see, is a current list for opening peoples minds” pg 305
“If we want to build bridges across partisan divides, we must find ways to alleviate the sense of threat to people sense of belonging that’s triggered by considering opposing views” pg 305
“His views had changed not because of those arguments, though, but because he had come to identify with a group whose members he cared about and that advocated, and lived by norms of tolerance. He was also affirmed by those in the group, which, as we’ll see, is a current list for opening peoples minds” pg 305
“If we want to build bridges across partisan divides, we must find ways to alleviate the sense of threat to people sense of belonging that’s triggered by considering opposing views” pg 305