rachelb36's review against another edition
1.0
1.5 stars
This is supposedly a book about Lyme disease... The author seemed more interested in talking about racism, her drug addiction, her many romantic partners, and moving constantly all over the country. It was hard to follow what happened when, in what city, what boyfriend she was currently dating, etc. Parts of the book were repetitive.
I normally can walk away with something of value when reading memoirs, especially about chronic illness (since I suffer from it, too), but this just didn't contain enough about her actual illness (symptoms, a coherent timeline) to be helpful.
My personality must be very different from Khakpour's, and it's hard not to judge someone who made so many decisions that seemed so obviously bad to me. The way she jumped from relationship to relationship, always mentioning that this person was going to be the one that would help her to heal, was especially sad to me. I am so incredibly thankful that as a Christian, I can turn to God for my emotional and physical help and don't have to rely on finite human beings who will always fail!
Note: There is some profanity, and mentions of illegal drug use/addiction.
This is supposedly a book about Lyme disease... The author seemed more interested in talking about racism, her drug addiction, her many romantic partners, and moving constantly all over the country. It was hard to follow what happened when, in what city, what boyfriend she was currently dating, etc. Parts of the book were repetitive.
I normally can walk away with something of value when reading memoirs, especially about chronic illness (since I suffer from it, too), but this just didn't contain enough about her actual illness (symptoms, a coherent timeline) to be helpful.
My personality must be very different from Khakpour's, and it's hard not to judge someone who made so many decisions that seemed so obviously bad to me. The way she jumped from relationship to relationship, always mentioning that this person was going to be the one that would help her to heal, was especially sad to me. I am so incredibly thankful that as a Christian, I can turn to God for my emotional and physical help and don't have to rely on finite human beings who will always fail!
Note: There is some profanity, and mentions of illegal drug use/addiction.
kaileycool's review against another edition
3.0
This book made me reflective about my own thoughts about people with invisible health issues, which I know to be more skeptical than sympathetic. It also made me very afraid of Lyme disease!
The narrative is incoherent, but so were her experiences. I wish she had focused more on how she felt her experiences were impacted because of her gender and color, which she asserts they were without really giving many examples. To be clear, I don’t doubt her assertion; I just wish for more insight into it.
The narrative is incoherent, but so were her experiences. I wish she had focused more on how she felt her experiences were impacted because of her gender and color, which she asserts they were without really giving many examples. To be clear, I don’t doubt her assertion; I just wish for more insight into it.
mtishma's review against another edition
2.0
So, I don’t believe that this is a “bad” book. It just wasn’t the right book for me.
foggy_rosamund's review against another edition
2.0
Khakpour suffers from fourth-stage Lyme disease, which causes chronic insomnia, nausea, fevers, dysautomnia and brain fog, among other symptoms. For more than a decade, she seeks answers to explain her symptoms, being shuffled from doctor to doctor, and experiencing at best misdiagnosis and mishandling of her case and at worst outright disbelief and attempts to send her to a psych ward. It is very frightening to be an ill woman, especially an ill woman of colour as she demonstrated: you will be disbelieved and dismissed over and over again. As she struggles with illness and a sense of isolation, Khakpour dabbles in various drugs, and is prescribed numbers of benzos, which are addictive and only make her situation worse. This memoir captures her despair, her desperation, and the fear with which she lives. I found it compulsive reading, and while I do not have Lyme disease, it evoked my own experiences with chronic illness.
However, Khakpour wrote this while she was ill, and that may go some way to explain why the narrative feels chaotic, and at times incoherent. I struggled to understand out the timeline of events, and couldn't place when certain important events occurred. Khakpour talks a lot about being a born writer and much of her working life is spent either studying writing, writing novels or writing commercially, and teaching writing. Because of this, I was surprised by how clumsy the prose is in this memoir: sentences tend to be long, full of overlapping clauses and misuse of commas, and almost every statement is qualified with phrases such as "at times", "at best", "perhaps", "even if". I felt like I was wading through mud, and struggled to figure out exactly what Khakpour was saying. This would be a much stronger book had the choppy prose been smoothed out, and if a timeline had been established. I desperately wanted to like this, and I think it's an important book, but I can only give it a qualified recommendation: if you experience chronic illness, you will probably find something important here, but the prose will frustrate you.
However, Khakpour wrote this while she was ill, and that may go some way to explain why the narrative feels chaotic, and at times incoherent. I struggled to understand out the timeline of events, and couldn't place when certain important events occurred. Khakpour talks a lot about being a born writer and much of her working life is spent either studying writing, writing novels or writing commercially, and teaching writing. Because of this, I was surprised by how clumsy the prose is in this memoir: sentences tend to be long, full of overlapping clauses and misuse of commas, and almost every statement is qualified with phrases such as "at times", "at best", "perhaps", "even if". I felt like I was wading through mud, and struggled to figure out exactly what Khakpour was saying. This would be a much stronger book had the choppy prose been smoothed out, and if a timeline had been established. I desperately wanted to like this, and I think it's an important book, but I can only give it a qualified recommendation: if you experience chronic illness, you will probably find something important here, but the prose will frustrate you.
karen_24's review against another edition
One of the worst books I have ever read. To repetitive. I got to chapter 5 and then just skimmed the rest of the book.
teerah's review against another edition
1.0
I don't even know where to begin here. It's challenging to criticize the author because of the very personal insight she gave into her life and experience with illness. But I suppose that memoirs do not strive to be objective, and in that vein I'll comment accordingly.
To be blunt, as a non-medical, non-Lyme disease sufferer, I truly believe Khakpour's ailments were almost entirely due to psychological illness, with small but negligible complications from Lyme. She references having a "real" Chronic Lyme diagnosis, but this diagnosis is in fact not widely recognized in the medical field and is nearly impossible to substantiate. I felt that it was irresponsible of her to write a memoir that would likely be read by others with Lyme, and to not explore this. Or perhaps her psychological illness is so profound that she is unable to see it for what it is. Whatever the case, this is not a book about her experience with Lyme, but it is rather a book about her experience with a psychological illness that she almost entirely chooses to address with pseudo-science treatments by non-medical doctors. From bee sting therapy to infrared light therapy to being conned into buying thousands of dollars' worth of "supplements", she presents more evidence that she is capable of being "got" by wackos who want her money, rather than being understood by the medical field.
As evidence of this, she recounts dozens of interactions with doctors in emergency rooms across the United States, who all insisted she needed to be admitted to a psychiatric ward. Further, the only true medical treatment she receives is a dizzying amount of benzos, enough to make her SICK. She should have been treated for a drug addiction and hypochondria. She readily admits more than once that she likes being sick. Every interaction she has with those in her life is centred around making sure her sickness is at the forefront of her relationships, both romantic and platonic. She talks about several friendships and relationships of hers that fizzed out due to people not being able to deal with her Lyme disease, but it's quite clear that the real reason is due to her obsession with being the centre of attention in her quest for the right diagnosis.
I thought it was incredibly irresponsible of her to adopt dogs during this protracted sick period in her life, and to move around several times, burdening her family each time she did. Someone who was not afflicted by a severe mental illness would have understood the impacts of these large life choices. More evidence that her illness was of the mind and not the body.
I could go on, but suffice to say, this memoir was not at all what it purports itself to be.
To be blunt, as a non-medical, non-Lyme disease sufferer, I truly believe Khakpour's ailments were almost entirely due to psychological illness, with small but negligible complications from Lyme. She references having a "real" Chronic Lyme diagnosis, but this diagnosis is in fact not widely recognized in the medical field and is nearly impossible to substantiate. I felt that it was irresponsible of her to write a memoir that would likely be read by others with Lyme, and to not explore this. Or perhaps her psychological illness is so profound that she is unable to see it for what it is. Whatever the case, this is not a book about her experience with Lyme, but it is rather a book about her experience with a psychological illness that she almost entirely chooses to address with pseudo-science treatments by non-medical doctors. From bee sting therapy to infrared light therapy to being conned into buying thousands of dollars' worth of "supplements", she presents more evidence that she is capable of being "got" by wackos who want her money, rather than being understood by the medical field.
As evidence of this, she recounts dozens of interactions with doctors in emergency rooms across the United States, who all insisted she needed to be admitted to a psychiatric ward. Further, the only true medical treatment she receives is a dizzying amount of benzos, enough to make her SICK. She should have been treated for a drug addiction and hypochondria. She readily admits more than once that she likes being sick. Every interaction she has with those in her life is centred around making sure her sickness is at the forefront of her relationships, both romantic and platonic. She talks about several friendships and relationships of hers that fizzed out due to people not being able to deal with her Lyme disease, but it's quite clear that the real reason is due to her obsession with being the centre of attention in her quest for the right diagnosis.
I thought it was incredibly irresponsible of her to adopt dogs during this protracted sick period in her life, and to move around several times, burdening her family each time she did. Someone who was not afflicted by a severe mental illness would have understood the impacts of these large life choices. More evidence that her illness was of the mind and not the body.
I could go on, but suffice to say, this memoir was not at all what it purports itself to be.
bkish's review against another edition
4.0
This is a very very unusual book and I read often those books that are unusual. This is Prochista Khakpour's memoir and it is some story not much can compare to its darkness. It is about as dark as is possible for someone who is not a victim of a killing.
She is Iranian came here with her family when she was I think in high school. I think her family was wealthy in Iran. When the family came they lived simply almost poor. Her parents are very minimal in the story of her life especially her father and I think she has a brother. She is smart does well in school and I think she is in a few schools as the family moves. Mostly tho she grows up in southern CA. She goes to college on east coast to Sarah Lawrence that she says is known as Sarah Lesbian School.
At some point in her quite young life she gets out of control and stays like that for most of her life. At the time of the writing of this book (released in 2018) I think she is in her mid thirties. I think she was born in '78. Porochista is definitely not a bookworm and not a loner. Early in her life she knew she was to be a writer. Lots of drugs some not prescription many prescribed by her many MDs. Her first bout with sickness I think she was in college. Maybe it was earlier? When this young woman gets sick she gets deeply ill and for years there is no correct diagnosis. In her adult lifetime tho she finally gets the correct diagnosis of Lyme. She has an excellent MD I think in Arizona and he helps her to feel physically mentally normal for first time in many years. There are tho Lyme relapses. Probably that is to be expected. Also there are periods of serious drug abuse tho she never does Heroin. Porochista also drinks and smokes tobacco.
then she tells of various relationships with men and each one ends badly I think tho there is one man Alexander who she returned to various times a wealthy man.
At the end of the book she tells the readers she had various relationships between a period of years after she was diagnosed and treated. thats when she says there were also women. I was intrigued by her referral to a woman who is "a famous writer"
This book is definitely not boring and she writes well and I think she is very honest about her dysfunctional life. Was it all due to Lyme disease?
Judy
She is Iranian came here with her family when she was I think in high school. I think her family was wealthy in Iran. When the family came they lived simply almost poor. Her parents are very minimal in the story of her life especially her father and I think she has a brother. She is smart does well in school and I think she is in a few schools as the family moves. Mostly tho she grows up in southern CA. She goes to college on east coast to Sarah Lawrence that she says is known as Sarah Lesbian School.
At some point in her quite young life she gets out of control and stays like that for most of her life. At the time of the writing of this book (released in 2018) I think she is in her mid thirties. I think she was born in '78. Porochista is definitely not a bookworm and not a loner. Early in her life she knew she was to be a writer. Lots of drugs some not prescription many prescribed by her many MDs. Her first bout with sickness I think she was in college. Maybe it was earlier? When this young woman gets sick she gets deeply ill and for years there is no correct diagnosis. In her adult lifetime tho she finally gets the correct diagnosis of Lyme. She has an excellent MD I think in Arizona and he helps her to feel physically mentally normal for first time in many years. There are tho Lyme relapses. Probably that is to be expected. Also there are periods of serious drug abuse tho she never does Heroin. Porochista also drinks and smokes tobacco.
then she tells of various relationships with men and each one ends badly I think tho there is one man Alexander who she returned to various times a wealthy man.
At the end of the book she tells the readers she had various relationships between a period of years after she was diagnosed and treated. thats when she says there were also women. I was intrigued by her referral to a woman who is "a famous writer"
This book is definitely not boring and she writes well and I think she is very honest about her dysfunctional life. Was it all due to Lyme disease?
Judy
lowbrowhighart's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
3.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Medical content, Medical trauma, Mental illness, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Gaslighting, Addiction, Alcoholism, Chronic illness, Suicidal thoughts, Drug abuse, and Panic attacks/disorders
Moderate: Car accident, Alcohol, Drug use, Domestic abuse, Racism, Rape, Xenophobia, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, and Toxic relationship
Minor: Miscarriage, Self harm, and Islamophobia