Reviews tagging 'Suicidal thoughts'

Tell Me Everything: The Story of a Private Investigation by Erika Krouse

41 reviews

lauraorourke's review against another edition

challenging dark hopeful informative medium-paced

4.0

I heard such great things about this book when it was released last year, so I was looking forward to reading it. It did not disappoint. It is an incredibly readable memoir pairing the true crime details from a college sexual violence case and the author's personal experience with sexual violence. While the prose is engaging, the topic is heavy. (Obvious trigger warnings, plus CSA and suicidal thoughts).

The author was quite critical of her role as a private investigator whose task was to get the right information to prove that the university knew about and did nothing about its culture of sexual assault, especially within the context of the football team. Her role was integral to getting the outcome the case needed, but it is clear reading from her perspective that she felt like she was continuing the process of exploiting victims. It made her honestly a bit unlikeable and I found myself frustrated at how she was engaging in her work, however, I also wonder if it shows important self-awareness for her to have written about the experiences in such a way. She does not write herself as the hero, but as another cog in a system that exploits women and victims of abuse, even when the outcome is the right one.

There was a lot personal about this book for me. I spent a year at university as a football trainer, and I was good friends with football players during the first two years of my university career. One of my own experiences of sexual assault happened with a football player (not one who was my friend, at least) and this book brought a lot of those memories back. I really understood the experiences of the women who were friends with these football players.

I think I probably need a few books to refresh me from reading a couple of books about sexual assault in a row. I'm glad I read this but I'm also glad to put a bit of distance between myself and this reading experience.

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Rape, and Sexual assault

Moderate: Suicidal thoughts

ashleywrites's review against another edition

dark emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

4.25

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Drug use, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, and Sexual harassment

mklein319's review against another edition

dark emotional informative reflective slow-paced

4.0

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, and Sexual harassment

adriso's review against another edition

challenging emotional informative mysterious reflective tense medium-paced

3.75

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, and Sexual harassment

Moderate: Emotional abuse and Gaslighting

Minor: Torture and Abandonment

jhbandcats's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional informative sad tense medium-paced

4.25

I liked the premise of the book and the way the author, Erika Krouse, interwove her history of child sexual abuse with the contemporary sexual assaults by the Univ of Colorado football team, told through the lens of researching a legal case. It’s part memoir, part expose of a university coverup at the highest levels. By including her own story within the legal case, Krouse turns a fascinating story of rape and deception into one of personal struggle and redemption. 

There’s no truly happy ending - there were no criminal charges ever filed, the university faculty and staff got off scot-free, and not everyone who was assaulted received part of the settlement. But within the convoluted justice system in the US, a form of justice was achieved. 

My only quibble was that all the names were changed even though the case, settled in 2007, is a matter of public record. However, I read an interview with Krouse in JNews where she explains more fully how she was doing all she could to protect the women by not tying them to assailants who might further retaliate. It was the best she could do under the circumstances. 

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Cursing, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Grief, Medical trauma, Abandonment, Alcohol, Injury/Injury detail, and Classism

torturedreadersdept's review against another edition

challenging dark informative tense medium-paced

4.0

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Bullying, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Racism, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Medical content, Grief, Gaslighting, Abandonment, Sexual harassment, and Dysphoria

mantisshrimp's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

4.0

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, and Sexual harassment

Moderate: Pedophilia, Sexism, and Toxic relationship

Minor: Gun violence and Suicidal thoughts

empireofgold's review against another edition

dark emotional informative reflective sad medium-paced

4.0

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Rape, and Sexual assault

Moderate: Physical abuse

Minor: Suicidal thoughts

austenite93's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad fast-paced

3.5

---

Content Warnings

Moderate: Child abuse, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Gaslighting, and Abandonment

toofondofbooks_'s review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced

4.5

Described as part literary true crime and part memoir, this book is about Erika Krouse's early career as a private investigator who played a large role in cracking open a landmark sexual assault case. This details not only her interviews with survivors and details about the case itself, but personal stories about her life leading up to the investigation, during, and after. At first, I was worried that I was going to be bored with the memoir side of things. I thought that the true crime stuff was all I was going to care about, but what ended up happening instead was that I cared about both elements. Krouse's own story of survival intertwines with the story of this case in a way that never feels forced or shoe-horned in. The stories of her fraught relationship with her mother were heartbreaking, and her journey with mental illness was relatable. Another nice touch to this book was that there was information sprinkled throughout about all sorts of things that I didn't know much about. I learned about the first ever female private eye in the US, the inception of the Pinkertons, and much, much more. The only reason I docked this down half a star is because I feel....very weird giving a book based around sexual assault 5 stars, but that's a me problem. If you like true crime, memoirs, and non fiction, you should give this one a try: but please heed the trigger warnings online first.

---

Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Body horror, Child abuse, Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug use, Gun violence, Mental illness, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Racism, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Vomit, Murder, Alcohol, and Sexual harassment

Moderate: Fatphobia, Incest, Slavery, and Car accident

Minor: Genocide, Infidelity, Miscarriage, Excrement, Pregnancy, and Cultural appropriation