Reviews tagging 'Bullying'
Sincerely, Your Autistic Child: What People on the Autism Spectrum Wish Their Parents Knew about Growing Up, Acceptance, and Identity by
7 reviews
virgoreadss's review
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
tense
fast-paced
4.0
this was such a cathartic read as someone recently diagnosed as autistic.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Bullying, and Child abuse
flairofclaire's review
challenging
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism and Bullying
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts and Grief
Minor: Self harm and Transphobia
maeverose's review against another edition
emotional
informative
fast-paced
3.75
TL;DR: I think this is very important for parents of autistic kids to read, and I would highly recommend it, however the language is very girl/women focused when it comes to gender. But the advice in this book can apply to anyone of any gender, even cis boys.
I’m not the target audience, I’m not a parent and don’t plan to be. I’ve suspected I’m autistic (or neurodivergent at least) for years now and read this mostly for myself.
Most of the essays focus on the contributor’s life experiences growing up to adulthood with advice mixed in, some are mainly just advice. I had an issue with the very binary, bioessentialist language used when talking about gender throughout most of the book. The first edition was published with only essays for autistic girls, and this one they just added some trans people in there and put a preface in the beginning trying to convince you the book is inclusive (I’m not sure if every contributor is new for this edition or if they included essays from the first edition). Most of the essays still use very binary language when talking about gender, and some of them even have somewhat misogynistic stereotypes. I wish they made sure all the contributors got the memo to use more inclusive language. It reads a bit strange jumping from an essay with very exclusionary language to one from a trans author.
There was also a few comments in one essay in particular that bothered me, that being ‘A daughter’s journey: lessons, honesty and love’ by Jennifer St. Jude. Besides using very binary language to begin with, she says things like ‘girls are more emotional and sensitive’ And ‘girls are naturally more expressive and social’, which does not apply to all girls. She should’ve said ‘girls can be’ instead of ‘girls are’. Personally I think it’s more that afabs/girls/women are taught to be that way, not necessarily that they’re naturally that way (though some can be, of course). Boys/amabs are able to get away with being less social and ‘polite’. Also the ‘every girl on the spectrum has a secret skill or ability’ comment irked me. Yes everybody can find things that they’re good at, but the wording here could feed into some people’s belief that autism comes with some sort of super powers, which it doesn’t.
Overall though, these are relatively small complaints. I think it’s a decent book and could be very helpful for a lot of parents to raise their kids in a healthy and supportive way, as opposed to the incredibly damaging ways that are often encouraged for autistic children.
My favorite essays:
I’m not the target audience, I’m not a parent and don’t plan to be. I’ve suspected I’m autistic (or neurodivergent at least) for years now and read this mostly for myself.
Most of the essays focus on the contributor’s life experiences growing up to adulthood with advice mixed in, some are mainly just advice. I had an issue with the very binary, bioessentialist language used when talking about gender throughout most of the book. The first edition was published with only essays for autistic girls, and this one they just added some trans people in there and put a preface in the beginning trying to convince you the book is inclusive (I’m not sure if every contributor is new for this edition or if they included essays from the first edition). Most of the essays still use very binary language when talking about gender, and some of them even have somewhat misogynistic stereotypes. I wish they made sure all the contributors got the memo to use more inclusive language. It reads a bit strange jumping from an essay with very exclusionary language to one from a trans author.
There was also a few comments in one essay in particular that bothered me, that being ‘A daughter’s journey: lessons, honesty and love’ by Jennifer St. Jude. Besides using very binary language to begin with, she says things like ‘girls are more emotional and sensitive’ And ‘girls are naturally more expressive and social’, which does not apply to all girls. She should’ve said ‘girls can be’ instead of ‘girls are’. Personally I think it’s more that afabs/girls/women are taught to be that way, not necessarily that they’re naturally that way (though some can be, of course). Boys/amabs are able to get away with being less social and ‘polite’. Also the ‘every girl on the spectrum has a secret skill or ability’ comment irked me. Yes everybody can find things that they’re good at, but the wording here could feed into some people’s belief that autism comes with some sort of super powers, which it doesn’t.
Overall though, these are relatively small complaints. I think it’s a decent book and could be very helpful for a lot of parents to raise their kids in a healthy and supportive way, as opposed to the incredibly damaging ways that are often encouraged for autistic children.
My favorite essays:
-Acknowledge Vulnerability, Presume Competence by B. Martin Allen
-Change the World, Not Your Child by Lei Wiley-Mydske
-Who Gets to Be Diagnosed, and Who Does It Serve? by Victoria M. Rodriguez-Roldán
-Unconventional by Amethyst Schaber
-I Wish I Wasn’t So Hard on Myself Back Then by Kayla Smith
-I Am An Autistic Woman by Amy Sequenzia
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Bullying, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, and Child abuse
Moderate: Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Racism, and Suicidal thoughts
Minor: Drug abuse, Eating disorder, Murder, and Self harm
Moderate: Eugenicstea_at_mole_end's review
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
3.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Ableism, Bullying, and Sexual harassment
allweseeorseem's review
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.75
Content Warnings
Minor: Addiction, Bullying, Suicidal thoughts, Transphobia, Forced institutionalization, Mental illness, Self harm, Sexual harassment, Ableism, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, and Xenophobia
leahlovesloslibros's review
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
I am always looking to further my learning about minority individuals, especially if the book is written by an own voices author. In this collection of letters, autistic individuals write to their parents and loved ones describing their experiences as an autistic individual and how it has shaped their life. Although any person can be autistic, this book focuses specifically on females and non-binary individuals, as they are often underdiagnosed and therefore underrepresented in the autistic community.
I loved the letter format of this book; it drew me in and made the text easy to digest. I also love that the individuals whose stories were being told were able to share their thoughts, feelings, experiences with their loved ones while also educating others so that we may all benefit and learn how to better treat autistic individuals, as well as advocate for them. As someone who works with children, this can be especially useful to me, and I look forward to learning more about how I can work with and advocate for autistic individuals.
I loved the letter format of this book; it drew me in and made the text easy to digest. I also love that the individuals whose stories were being told were able to share their thoughts, feelings, experiences with their loved ones while also educating others so that we may all benefit and learn how to better treat autistic individuals, as well as advocate for them. As someone who works with children, this can be especially useful to me, and I look forward to learning more about how I can work with and advocate for autistic individuals.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism
Moderate: Emotional abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual assault, Bullying, Death of parent, and Child abuse
Minor: Drug use
Additional TW/CW: verbal abuse, sexual abuse, discussions of Harry Potter, menstruation, divorcecourtneyfalling's review
fast-paced
3.5
This book definitely made me feel emotionally vulnerable and reflective while also validating how lonely autistic childhood can feel (and how we're not truly alone, but part of a bigger community). But a lot of the articles repeat the same points, stay pretty high-level, and sometimes buy into bioessentialist language on gender or stray near misgendering (not always great in discussing transitions). I guess I wanted more depth and carefulness than the collection as a whole ended up offering.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Bullying and Ableism
Minor: Sexual violence and Suicidal thoughts
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