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etbotto's review
3.0
3.5 stars - as a new mother myself, this book hit hard. At times inspiring, but mostly infuriating, you will nevertheless be drawn in to the world Lilli must navigate as an unwed mother and wishing, like her, that it was different.
megray1126's review
4.0
In a time where unwed mothers are not accepted in society, a young woman gets pregnant. Despite society's disapproval of her baby, she decides to keep it. The story tells of the struggles Lilli goes through to try and make a life for her baby to grow and be healthy. The story is beautifully written and well-researched.
maria161985's review
4.0
Wow, this book was an absolute delight to read, such a wonderful page-turner! This book starts off by describing a young woman named Lily, who has relations with her brother's friend, a man named Johan. As the book goes on, we learn of Lily's pregnancy, and the despair that she faces as an unwed mother in the late 19th century. The treatment that these women experienced at the hands of society was unfathomable, especially in regards to their ability to work and provide for their child. I was astonished at how Lily was able to hold her head high and establish herself, especially since she was shunned upon by many she came into contact with. I felt that Lily and Charlotte had an unspeakable bond, one that nothing could tear apart, no matter what came between them. All of the mothers that Lily had met in the boarding home were subject to similar torture, despite the situation in which they found themselves pregnant. I admired Lily for her positive outlook, and was quietly rooting for her, hoping that she was given the happiness that she deserved. Overall, this book really gave me a clearer picture on how unwed mothers were subject to harsh conditions, despite their ability to prove themselves as worthy members of society.
tracyfeye's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
khornstein1's review
5.0
Just great--it's hard to find histfic that has both amazingly accurate detail and good writing, but this is it. And a Quaker heroine! Added bonus is that Benton is an Oberlin grad. My sister's been after me to read this for years. Highly recommended.
pam2375's review
4.0
This book grabbed my attention right away and held it for the entire book. This definitely kept me entertained.
angelamichelle's review
3.0
I read this over a couple weeks where 1.) I finished the second season of Handmaid’s Tale and 2.) I listened to Christine Blasey Ford’s testimony at the Kavanaugh hearing. Actually, spent much of the week reading commentary and Twitter threads and absorbed with the question of whether our country will conclude that sexual assault disqualified one for high honor, or not.
I live and blessed and privilege life. Even so. To look clearly at the burdens of being a woman is... We live and breathe sexism in the very air of this world. We’re so immersed in it we can’t see it.
This book isn’t a literary masterpiece but it’s a well rendered story of a woman fighting for basic rights in a system made not for her.
My favorite part is this line, advice from the protagonist’s mother on her wedding day, and good advice, I think, for a heart-heavy, angry feminist living with a good husband and four sons:
“Hold tight to the reins of thy disposition, but not to the reins of the spirit.”
She says to “remain temperate” but to “remain sensible of thy Inward Light and share the knowledge it brings.”
So that’s my plan. Angry feminist with a sweet disposition.
I live and blessed and privilege life. Even so. To look clearly at the burdens of being a woman is... We live and breathe sexism in the very air of this world. We’re so immersed in it we can’t see it.
This book isn’t a literary masterpiece but it’s a well rendered story of a woman fighting for basic rights in a system made not for her.
My favorite part is this line, advice from the protagonist’s mother on her wedding day, and good advice, I think, for a heart-heavy, angry feminist living with a good husband and four sons:
“Hold tight to the reins of thy disposition, but not to the reins of the spirit.”
She says to “remain temperate” but to “remain sensible of thy Inward Light and share the knowledge it brings.”
So that’s my plan. Angry feminist with a sweet disposition.
quiltmom14's review
3.0
There is a lot of breast milk in this story. A LOT of breast milk and a lot of puckered lips and a lot of sucking. I learned a lot about Philadelphia in the late 1800s, the condition of the city, of the poor and specifically of the dire circumstances of any unwed (or “widowed”) mother. I’m a little familiar with Philly so seeing the street names and hearing about some of its amazing buildings was fun. One of the best parts of the book was the afterward, where you understand the research that lay behind the writing of the novel, and why there is so much breast milk....and yet...I think there could have been some more editing. I listened to this book - I think that’s why I kept going - and found the narrator’s different voices for different characters, well done.
sarahlopod's review against another edition
3.0
This review can also be found on my blog.
Lilli de Jong is the story of a young quaker girl who finds herself pregnant in a society where an unwed mother is a scourge and disgrace. I enjoyed the book at the start; not knowing much about quakers, I was intrigued to hear more about Lilli’s life. I also enjoyed the journal format, with Lilli speaking directly to the reader as if we were her diary. Which, in the narrative, we are.
How is it that shame affixes itself to the violated, and not to the violator?
Lilli is forced to seek shelter in a home for single pregnant women, and is lucky enough to be boarded and fed as she waits to birth her child. While the norm is to adopt one’s baby out and to continue life as though the pregnancy had never happened, Lilli stands her ground and decides that she wants to keep her baby. As expected, this leads to many difficulties.
So little is permissible for a woman—yet on her back every human climbs to adulthood.
I found it intriguing for quite a while, but over time the hurdles Lilli faced became tiresome. I’m sure the events were realistic to an extent, but it was difficult to suspend my belief when the worst seemed to happen at all times. As soon as things began turning around for Lilli, something even worse would happen. At first this was surprising and kept me on my toes, but I felt the author took it just too far. I was also quite frustrated at how Lilli behaved some of the time, she seemed to change her mind on a whim and had no idea how to make decisions that would actually benefit her. It’s likely because she was quite young, but still, it became irritating to read through. I will say that I had no issue with the writing itself. Benton knows how to create an atmosphere that will draw the reader in, and how to create interesting side characters to support her lead.
Did she go to the grave with painful secrets? Must every woman? Will I?
It was clear that Benton wanted to shed some light on the hardships women faced during this time period. As she mentions in the afterword, these girls’ stories went untold -- I’m actually excited to read some of the books she used for her research. She also clearly wanted to show the deep bond a mother feels toward their child. In that respect, this may be more impactful to readers who enjoy reading about motherhood. Parts of it may be difficult if you do have a child -- without spoilers, I’ll just say she and her daughter are put into some dangerous situations -- but I think that would make it easier to relate to.
This knowledge is not a curse. Separation from the garden’s innocence is not a sin. It is a beginning.
Overall, while the book was well-written, I struggled with the seemingly endless tragedies the title character faced and got less out of this than I was hoping to.
Lilli de Jong is the story of a young quaker girl who finds herself pregnant in a society where an unwed mother is a scourge and disgrace. I enjoyed the book at the start; not knowing much about quakers, I was intrigued to hear more about Lilli’s life. I also enjoyed the journal format, with Lilli speaking directly to the reader as if we were her diary. Which, in the narrative, we are.
How is it that shame affixes itself to the violated, and not to the violator?
Lilli is forced to seek shelter in a home for single pregnant women, and is lucky enough to be boarded and fed as she waits to birth her child. While the norm is to adopt one’s baby out and to continue life as though the pregnancy had never happened, Lilli stands her ground and decides that she wants to keep her baby. As expected, this leads to many difficulties.
So little is permissible for a woman—yet on her back every human climbs to adulthood.
I found it intriguing for quite a while, but over time the hurdles Lilli faced became tiresome. I’m sure the events were realistic to an extent, but it was difficult to suspend my belief when the worst seemed to happen at all times. As soon as things began turning around for Lilli, something even worse would happen. At first this was surprising and kept me on my toes, but I felt the author took it just too far. I was also quite frustrated at how Lilli behaved some of the time, she seemed to change her mind on a whim and had no idea how to make decisions that would actually benefit her. It’s likely because she was quite young, but still, it became irritating to read through. I will say that I had no issue with the writing itself. Benton knows how to create an atmosphere that will draw the reader in, and how to create interesting side characters to support her lead.
Did she go to the grave with painful secrets? Must every woman? Will I?
It was clear that Benton wanted to shed some light on the hardships women faced during this time period. As she mentions in the afterword, these girls’ stories went untold -- I’m actually excited to read some of the books she used for her research. She also clearly wanted to show the deep bond a mother feels toward their child. In that respect, this may be more impactful to readers who enjoy reading about motherhood. Parts of it may be difficult if you do have a child -- without spoilers, I’ll just say she and her daughter are put into some dangerous situations -- but I think that would make it easier to relate to.
This knowledge is not a curse. Separation from the garden’s innocence is not a sin. It is a beginning.
Overall, while the book was well-written, I struggled with the seemingly endless tragedies the title character faced and got less out of this than I was hoping to.