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apriladventuring's review against another edition
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
4.0
📚 2024 #75: “High Conflict” by Amanda Ripley
📕 This book teaches us about the type of conflict that usually involves two opposing parties that refuse to see eye-to-eye. Examples she gives are political extremists in the US, feuding gangs in Chicago, couples going through divorce, and many others. Each set of clashing parties were able to reach greater peace through understanding each other and finding common ground.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 4/5: This book doesn’t present many techniques that can be used to resolve these “high conflicts” because the premise is really pretty simple: actively listen to your conflict partner and find shared goals. Easier said than done. I enjoyed the examples Ridley gave throughout and they made me feel like there’s hope, even if the most combative of clashes.
🤓 You should read this if you find yourself in recurring conflicts or if you liked "How to Know a Person" by David Brooks or "Drive" by Daniel H. Pink.
📕 This book teaches us about the type of conflict that usually involves two opposing parties that refuse to see eye-to-eye. Examples she gives are political extremists in the US, feuding gangs in Chicago, couples going through divorce, and many others. Each set of clashing parties were able to reach greater peace through understanding each other and finding common ground.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 4/5: This book doesn’t present many techniques that can be used to resolve these “high conflicts” because the premise is really pretty simple: actively listen to your conflict partner and find shared goals. Easier said than done. I enjoyed the examples Ridley gave throughout and they made me feel like there’s hope, even if the most combative of clashes.
🤓 You should read this if you find yourself in recurring conflicts or if you liked "How to Know a Person" by David Brooks or "Drive" by Daniel H. Pink.
lep2170's review against another edition
2.0
There was just too much focus on the stories of people involved in high conflict and not enough practical advice or research about conflict management. The book doesn’t exactly do a good job of explaining why we get trapped or provide a framework for how to get out.
rebcamuse's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
I read this book because I'm going to be facilitating a conversation about it at work, and I found it far more interesting than I imagined. Ripley offers a variety of case studies: an attorney-turned-mediator, a gang member, a Colombian guerilla fighter, a rabbi and his congregation...and a lot more. Through excellent storytelling, Ripley weaves together these stories to both explain "high conflict" and offers great counsel for how to move out of it, and perhaps even avoid it. But the point that resonated the most for me is her discussion of "good conflict"--something that sometimes gets lost in a lot of conversations about peace and mediation. Curiosity is key. But we have to make the space to allow for curiosity. Also a key point about the conflict-industrial complex: "To keep conflict healthy in an adversarial world, the encounters can't end... But keeping the conversation going in a huge challenge in a country where people increasingly live, date, and marry in their own political tribes. As in any segregated society, encounters won't happen naturally." (273). I would have liked more about managing the sustainability of this process.
So, it takes work. The book offers many resources about how to do that work, but Ripley's main focus is how to identify high conflict in the first place. There are some major tips for preventing it as well: investigating the "understory", reducing binaries, marginalizing "firestarters", buying time and making space, and "complicating the narrative." It is this last one that I think is seldom talked about as part of reducing binaries. There is value in complexity, it turns out--sometimes we call it nuance--but actively seeking out the complexity can help us foster good conflict, instead of high conflict.
Ripley's writing is accessibly human, but backed up with research and journalistic insight. She seems to practice the humility necessary for good conflict, even in the way she approaches this topic. She shares the stories of people with care and consideration for multiple truths and lived experiences. This is an EXCELLENT book for a group read of folks who work together, but really most people could benefit from considering a thoughtful approach to conflict (rather than conflict avoidance, or firestarting, as polar extremes).
So, it takes work. The book offers many resources about how to do that work, but Ripley's main focus is how to identify high conflict in the first place. There are some major tips for preventing it as well: investigating the "understory", reducing binaries, marginalizing "firestarters", buying time and making space, and "complicating the narrative." It is this last one that I think is seldom talked about as part of reducing binaries. There is value in complexity, it turns out--sometimes we call it nuance--but actively seeking out the complexity can help us foster good conflict, instead of high conflict.
Ripley's writing is accessibly human, but backed up with research and journalistic insight. She seems to practice the humility necessary for good conflict, even in the way she approaches this topic. She shares the stories of people with care and consideration for multiple truths and lived experiences. This is an EXCELLENT book for a group read of folks who work together, but really most people could benefit from considering a thoughtful approach to conflict (rather than conflict avoidance, or firestarting, as polar extremes).
Content Warnings
Moderate: Gun violence, Racism, Violence, and War
katyrose18's review against another edition
1.0
I must be the only person who did not like this book.
I read it for a book club and I thought it would be useful for my career as it is a recommended read for my industry.
Personally I found it had way too many stories and not enough content. The book could have been 100 pages total.
I read it for a book club and I thought it would be useful for my career as it is a recommended read for my industry.
Personally I found it had way too many stories and not enough content. The book could have been 100 pages total.
kaijut300's review against another edition
challenging
hopeful
informative
inspiring
slow-paced
5.0
It's good for people who want to have good conflicts in their life relationships between family members and friends as well
hallformusic's review against another edition
3.5
interesting but not as gripping as her previous books.