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kvreadsandrecs's review against another edition
3.0
3.5. I picked this up thanks to a Jonathan Van Ness podcast. I love reading the science behind things and this book delievered! I did scan or skip a few chapters, but interesting nonetheless!
katiehawkes's review against another edition
4.0
Some of the ideas in this book kicked me in the face and how dare they perceive me. Definitely a good one with food for thought for some self introspection time!
sphtnt's review against another edition
4.0
I love reading about dating because I think it’s such a silly, frustrating, and interesting thing humans do. This book differed from others given the really tangible tools it offers and a neuro approach always seals the deal for me. Some examples of potential dialogue felt clunky and almost too good to be true, but there are lots of starting points for folks in and out of relationships. I also appreciate the wave/island/anchor way to describe attachment styles as I feel there’s way less shame compared to being labelled avoidant or anxious.
rohini_murugan's review against another edition
3.0
I read a self help book.
I’m gonna need a couple more seconds to process that.
I just finished reading a self help book.
Now that that is processed, I read a psychology/neuroscience derived self help book. This is a line I never thought I’d cross, but here I’m standing on the other side of the shore. And, I have my thoughts and concerns.
My scientific mind believes that it is a gross misuse of neuroscience to extend it to behaviour, let alone to a whole set of complex behavioural toolkit of dating. Sure, one can always draw correlations and hypothesis but I was very much irked by the prevailing old brain/new brain assumptions being weaved into the book - almost on every page.
Now, my personal mind. What does it think? I’d say about half of the book was useful in trying to figure out myself and my needs and wants. But I also largely found myself unable to relate to a large part of the book; not because I haven’t had an experience but because it painted a picture of relationships very different from what I had in mind.
Overall, it was a good short read. More like a manual, if anything. Which is probably the problem, coz I don’t think relationships can have a set number of instructions and work based on that.
I’m gonna need a couple more seconds to process that.
I just finished reading a self help book.
Now that that is processed, I read a psychology/neuroscience derived self help book. This is a line I never thought I’d cross, but here I’m standing on the other side of the shore. And, I have my thoughts and concerns.
My scientific mind believes that it is a gross misuse of neuroscience to extend it to behaviour, let alone to a whole set of complex behavioural toolkit of dating. Sure, one can always draw correlations and hypothesis but I was very much irked by the prevailing old brain/new brain assumptions being weaved into the book - almost on every page.
Now, my personal mind. What does it think? I’d say about half of the book was useful in trying to figure out myself and my needs and wants. But I also largely found myself unable to relate to a large part of the book; not because I haven’t had an experience but because it painted a picture of relationships very different from what I had in mind.
Overall, it was a good short read. More like a manual, if anything. Which is probably the problem, coz I don’t think relationships can have a set number of instructions and work based on that.
allanvdh's review against another edition
1.0
This book is tedious and written for the socially inept. The initial chapters are really just affirming basic social skills. The examples used are really basic and of grade school quality.
The book assumes everyone has had some sort of continuous love. It does not address abuse or abandonment. Also it tongue in cheek advocates for abuse. Teasing and emotional manipulation is still abuse and the author actually encourages this in some cases. For a wave case type person such emotional manipulation will feel like abuse.
The book assumes everyone has had some sort of continuous love. It does not address abuse or abandonment. Also it tongue in cheek advocates for abuse. Teasing and emotional manipulation is still abuse and the author actually encourages this in some cases. For a wave case type person such emotional manipulation will feel like abuse.