pannii's review
challenging
dark
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
"No one was listening."
I really don't think I have the ability to write a coherent review for this book because well. It was a lot. On one hand, there were many things that hit a bit too close to home for me personally, but even setting all that personal stuff aside, it was so difficult reading everything that Xie Lian (and Hua Cheng) goes through, and I just. Sometimes I wish Mo Xiang Tong Xiu were not as good with characterization as she is because it would have been so much easier if the whole thing had not felt as real as it did. (Obviously I don't really wish that but. It was so painful.) The way she describes Xie Lian's emotions and the state he is in is literally chilling, it's scary how real it feels. Everything that happens in this book is basically just one traumatic event after the other, and while it is necessary for Xie Lian's character development and for the reader to understand him, and serves a purpose and is definitely not for shock value, it's still a lot.
"Thus, Xie Lian understood. No one would give him a hand to help pull him up.
He laid there for a good while before he crawled up himself."
I absolutely do recommend reading the list of trigger warnings because this novel gets dark. In that sense, chapters 190 and 191 might be some of the worst, so if you feel like there are things that you might not be able to handle but still want to read the book, those are the chapters you should maybe just skim through or skip altogether and read a summary instead. However, the entire book is a lot, so please do not go in expecting that there is some dark stuff in it but before that it's all good, or that after the "worst" it will quickly get better, because... it really won't.
I really don't think I have the ability to write a coherent review for this book because well. It was a lot. On one hand, there were many things that hit a bit too close to home for me personally, but even setting all that personal stuff aside, it was so difficult reading everything that Xie Lian (and Hua Cheng) goes through, and I just. Sometimes I wish Mo Xiang Tong Xiu were not as good with characterization as she is because it would have been so much easier if the whole thing had not felt as real as it did. (Obviously I don't really wish that but. It was so painful.) The way she describes Xie Lian's emotions and the state he is in is literally chilling, it's scary how real it feels. Everything that happens in this book is basically just one traumatic event after the other, and while it is necessary for Xie Lian's character development and for the reader to understand him, and serves a purpose and is definitely not for shock value, it's still a lot.
"Thus, Xie Lian understood. No one would give him a hand to help pull him up.
He laid there for a good while before he crawled up himself."
I absolutely do recommend reading the list of trigger warnings because this novel gets dark. In that sense, chapters 190 and 191 might be some of the worst, so if you feel like there are things that you might not be able to handle but still want to read the book, those are the chapters you should maybe just skim through or skip altogether and read a summary instead. However, the entire book is a lot, so please do not go in expecting that there is some dark stuff in it but before that it's all good, or that after the "worst" it will quickly get better, because... it really won't.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide attempt, Suicidal thoughts, Gaslighting, Grief, Injury/Injury detail, Torture, Death of parent, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Violence, Blood, Physical abuse, and Suicide
Moderate: Alcohol
Minor: Vomit
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