Reviews with content warning for Murder - If I Disappear

It took me a while to get into this book; once I was in, I was totally hooked! The twists and reveals were really doing it for me... up until the end.

The ending feels rushed and thrown together, which is such a bummer. It does all make sense given what we know about the characters, but it left me feeling disappointed after such a wild ride.

I’ll add that, though sometimes it feels forced or heavy-handed, I was really interested in the discussion of women being seen as crazy and how easy it is for a woman to “disappear.” I didn’t expect that to be such a major theme in this book, and I enjoyed it.

Content Warnings

janeycanuck's review against another edition

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dark tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Plot
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? No

3.0

The writing style (first person, very short sentences) wasn't really my cup of tea but the ending was oddly satisfying to me, despite being the type of ending that usually infuriates me.

Content Warnings

jmeslener's review against another edition

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adventurous dark mysterious sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.75

Content Warnings

hookedbybooks's review against another edition

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dark mysterious tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

What starts as an obsession story, it grows into something else.

A fan of podcaster Rachel, Sera goes on an investigation to find her when she goes missing. Now missing isn't the right word, per-se. As noone, including her family has filed a missing person's report. And no one else is worried, except for Sera. She goes to the family ranch, and gets herself hired as a farm hand to help with the horses, and find out more about Rachel's family as well as the missing woman herself.

This book weaves the reality of this lost woman, Sera in real world, with the idea of what she knows about Rachel and her world, and it becomes like a mind game. There are things where you cannot decipher who is who, and what is real, what Sera is reflecting of herself, and what is assumed or imagined.

What did bother me how trusty and naive Sera might have seen at times. You know when you watch a scary movie and you have that feeling that something bad is about to happen to the character.. Well for a true crime podcast obsessed, Sera didn't seem to be listening to her own senses, or having any fear at that.

The end! I had all these theories about where this story is going. And because I love a good obsession narrative, I was hoping I was right- but nope, missed it. Even though the clues are there! (they were just leading me the wrong direction).

Overall, a refreshing take. Smart, and engrossing. I loved the whole theme of disappearance, especially when it comes to the narratives, and how women are always painted.

Content Warnings

hellalibrary's review against another edition

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dark mysterious tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Plot
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

✨HAPPY PUB DAY!✨

Thank you @berkelypub and @elizajanebrazier for having me participate in the #IfIDisappear Blog Blitz!

This book was WILD you guys and I loved every second of it! Have you ever listened to a True Crime podcast and been like, oh I can totally solve that (🙋🏽‍♀️)? This is that book - but in this story, our podcaster Rachel Bard goes missing and it’s up to Sera (an avid listener and fan) to find out what happened to her.

She travels to a small town named Happy Camp in Northern California (it’s a real place!) and quickly finds out that everyone there is hiding something. The people in town are skittish around her, she is warned several times to leave by unseen persons, and Rachel’s family doesn’t seem to bothered that their daughter is missing. Additionally, she finds out that Rachel is not the only woman who has disappeared from this town - there’s a whole list of them! She feels like she’s constantly being watched and she doesn’t know who to trust.

It was tense and creepy, and honestly at times I felt like I was the one slowly losing my mind! I could not figure anyone out, and as someone who has read a lot of thrillers in her day, it was refreshing to me to not be able to solve this mystery right away.

What makes this thriller different, however, is that it’s not about a woman who disappears. Or trying to find out whodunnit, but the reasons that women want to make *themselves* disappear. It’s about struggling with your place in the world and losing yourself. It’s about misogyny and the men who make women shrink themselves in their presence. It’s about women who are fed up and fight back.

“...he has no idea what it’s like to be a woman, there are really only two choices: You can be too much or you can disappear.”

Whew! I highly recommend this one!

Content Warnings

thaatswhatsheread's review against another edition

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adventurous mysterious fast-paced

Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

Content Warnings

briwithabook's review against another edition

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dark mysterious tense medium-paced

Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

This was a really creepy and fast-paced book. I tore through it in 24 hours, because I couldn't wait to get to the end in the hopes of getting some answers about what was going on at the creepy, desolate ranch where the bulk of the story was located.

Sera is at a place in her life where she feels down, depressed and alone. The one person she really feels a connection to is Rachel, a true-crime podcast host (whom Sera has never met) that investigates the disappearances of women. When Rachel herself appears to go missing, Sera decides to go in search of answers.

I found the setting and characters in this one to definitely be eerie. It wasn't the kind of thriller that would make me scared to be alone in the house or to go to sleep, but it was definitely creepy enough to keep my interest to the point that I stayed up way too late reading it.

As someone who has had a lifelong interest in true-crime (and has spent the past several years listening to true-crime podcasts), I found the plot and format of this book to be really appealing. I liked that each chapter started with a snippet from a podcast episode, and that the chapters were short and quick to read. The story definitely kept me guessing, and while I had of course formed my own potential theories, I was never confident in them and they continually changed over the course of the book. I enjoy thrillers in which I do not guess the ending, and this one did not disappoint.

The only thing I will say is that the pacing could be improved. There were some sections of the book that felt a bit drawn out and overly detailed, and then the last section of the book felt like so much was crammed into a small part of the book. It didn't take away from the book, but was just something that I noticed. I suppose that can be true of a lot of thrillers, as the author doesn't want to give anything away too early - I just felt like maybe the last section was a bit rushed, after so much build up.

If you like thrillers and you are a fan of true-crime, I think you will find this an enjoyable read.

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