avrilhj's review against another edition
3.0
Wow. I'm stunned by the author's courage in being honest about her neediness and self-centredness. I knew very little about BPD before reading this book; now I think it must be one of the most difficult mental illnesses around, for both the sufferer and those who care for them. I hope that having read this book about what's happening 'inside' someone with BPD will help me to be more compassionate with people who seem to me to simply be narcissistic and needy.
I did hope for a bit more about how Buddhism helped the author in her recovery, given the title of this book, and I'm not sure that I saw much evidence that the author's practices had helped her to develop compassion for others rather than simply for herself, but maybe her writing this book to give a window into the BPD mindset was that act of compassion.
Fascinating read, but I'm not sure it's one that I'd recommend for those who have suffered deeply from having someone with BPD in the family. Did anyone reassure the author's mother that she was a 'good enough' mother and that her daughter's illness wasn't her fault?
I did hope for a bit more about how Buddhism helped the author in her recovery, given the title of this book, and I'm not sure that I saw much evidence that the author's practices had helped her to develop compassion for others rather than simply for herself, but maybe her writing this book to give a window into the BPD mindset was that act of compassion.
Fascinating read, but I'm not sure it's one that I'd recommend for those who have suffered deeply from having someone with BPD in the family. Did anyone reassure the author's mother that she was a 'good enough' mother and that her daughter's illness wasn't her fault?
noonanjohnc's review
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
sad
medium-paced
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Medical content and Mental illness
Moderate: Sexual assault and Addiction
emmacatereads's review against another edition
4.0
This was the second entry in my lived experiences of mental health biography series, and somehow despite four years of schooling and two years of post-grad work in the field, I have not yet read anything about BPD from the perspective of someone with BPD. Thus, this novel was deeply eye-opening in understanding a disorder that is deeply stigmatized both inside and outside the psychological community. Kiera Van Gelder is honest, unapologetic, and occasionally brutal in her discussion of her life as BPD sufferer, and how she came to find a measure of peace through various therapies and, eventually, through Buddhism. I've always been a great admirer of acceptance-based therapies such as DBT and ACT and felt like I learned a lot about their roots in Zen Buddhism, and the many cultural variation thereof.
While Kiera is not always a deeply sympathetic narrator, she is a deeply truthful one, and at her core is a fundamentally kind and giving person seeking what at the end of the day we all seek: love and acceptance. Kiera's story also draws the reader to certain aspects of BPD that can be relatable to anyone: feelings of jealousy, inadequacy, rejection, and invalidation, and explains how BPD dials up these difficult emotions to an unimaginable degree.
While Kiera is not always a deeply sympathetic narrator, she is a deeply truthful one, and at her core is a fundamentally kind and giving person seeking what at the end of the day we all seek: love and acceptance. Kiera's story also draws the reader to certain aspects of BPD that can be relatable to anyone: feelings of jealousy, inadequacy, rejection, and invalidation, and explains how BPD dials up these difficult emotions to an unimaginable degree.
jcousins89's review against another edition
5.0
A masterpiece and a must read for anybody struggling with BPD themselves or love someone who is.
Kiera breaks down the diagnosis criteria, DBT skills, stages of recovery and remission/relapse from a wholly honest perspective.
The best piece of non-fiction I've ever read.
Kiera breaks down the diagnosis criteria, DBT skills, stages of recovery and remission/relapse from a wholly honest perspective.
The best piece of non-fiction I've ever read.
meowmeowfood's review against another edition
2.0
As a person with borderline personality disorder, I believe books like this are extremely crucial and need to be written. Finding out that you have BPD is often the largest and best step you have to managing and working through the disorder. If I was not already aware of my own relation to BPD, I think I would have given this book 5 stars. Reading a book like this and discovering "Hey... maybe what she is going through is what I am going through!" could make this book life-changing.
For me, however, I almost found myself plodding along with little interest. I think the book needed a little bit more editing (tons of typos) and a more relatable/exciting voice. From the perspective of someone just wanting to read a memoir, this book is low on the list of "Must Read Memoirs."
BPD needs more memoirs and more books about it so people can read them and discover things about themselves. In that nature, I applaud this book. On the other hand, I believe there must be better BPD memoirs out there and am determined to find them.
For me, however, I almost found myself plodding along with little interest. I think the book needed a little bit more editing (tons of typos) and a more relatable/exciting voice. From the perspective of someone just wanting to read a memoir, this book is low on the list of "Must Read Memoirs."
BPD needs more memoirs and more books about it so people can read them and discover things about themselves. In that nature, I applaud this book. On the other hand, I believe there must be better BPD memoirs out there and am determined to find them.
ellieangel's review
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
sad
tense
medium-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Self harm, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Child abuse, Sexual content, and Mental illness
mhall's review against another edition
3.0
Very readable memoir of mental illness, although in parts the author uses a bit much of the particular vernacular of mental illness. But interesting in the ongoing struggle to define what borderline personality disorder means. Buddhism and its uses in dialectical/cognitive behavior therapy are likewise interesting.
beautifuljames's review
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, and Self harm
Moderate: Addiction
Minor: Fatphobia