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david_slack110507's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
mysterious
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
I read this book for my A-Level English Literature coursework (as well as reading Wide Sargasso Sea for the coursework element of the course as well) and so I spent the majority of the summer putting nearly all of my reading motivation and progress into reading this book as well as annotating it and tabbing it which is much more than what I do for the other books I read and so hopefully explains the extra long time that the book took for me to read it especially because it is much shorter than my normal books.
In deeply analysing it, I feel like I have only enjoyed the book more because I really like this novel and that's quite shocking because while there is an initial plot of Lydia dying and the family trying to figure out how she died and once learning it was suicide, trying to figure out what drove her to that point and why, there isn't much plot outside of that and is almost entirely reliant on being driven by the characters at play. That's not a bad thing as the characters in the book are incredibly complex and interesting to read about, however, it's just not my usual style of a book as i usually have something plot focused or a mix between plot and character focus, but this didn't disappoint.
As I mentioned, the characters are all really complex and developed starting with the father, James, being ashamed of his Chinese identity and race all of his life, which has meant that all he has ever wanted is to fit in. At the same time, his wife, Marilyn has dreamed of becoming a doctor and standing out as a woman in at the time, a heavily male-dominated profession, but is unable to achieve these dreams as she soon becomes pregnant and has to focus on her family. These unfulfilled dreams of the parents are then pushed onto Lydia, their favourite daughter who they prioritise above everyone else in the family, yet she only wants to conform to what her parents want her to be to make them happy, particularly her mother, leaving Lydia without a fixed identity and having very few people who understand her and her situation. This favouritism then means that the other children, Nath, and in particular, Hannah are ignored not just by their parents but also by each other yet they are also their own characters as Nath is hellbent on escaping the family by going to Harvard despite it meaning that he'll have to leave his sister behind, whilst Hannah almost acts as an observer rather than a person, due to her noticing things when the other characters don't.
This creates a fascinating family dynamic that is explored in both the past, when Lydia was alive, and the present, following her death and we see how the family's attempt to appear normal begins to crack under the pressure and can't handle it anymore. The themes of expectations, belonging and alienation, race, gender roles, and secrets were all really interesting to see throughout the book and it felt like they were all handled really well and carefully too. I also really liked that, while we as the reader can infer why Lydia did what she did, even though it's never explicitly said, the characters are even more in the dark than us due to the divisions that were present in the family leading up to Lydia's death, and so never truly know what happened, giving a sense of reality and realism like so many cases have in which the families don't often get closure nor do they get all the details.
Overall, this was a really fun and interesting book to read that kept me constantly interested and I liked the variety of themes that it covered. The lack of a fixed ending but also having some optimism for the future worked as an ending that didn't cop out and have a happy ending as an easy solution to a really complex storyline and character dynamics.
In deeply analysing it, I feel like I have only enjoyed the book more because I really like this novel and that's quite shocking because while there is an initial plot of Lydia dying and the family trying to figure out how she died and once learning it was suicide, trying to figure out what drove her to that point and why, there isn't much plot outside of that and is almost entirely reliant on being driven by the characters at play. That's not a bad thing as the characters in the book are incredibly complex and interesting to read about, however, it's just not my usual style of a book as i usually have something plot focused or a mix between plot and character focus, but this didn't disappoint.
As I mentioned, the characters are all really complex and developed starting with the father, James, being ashamed of his Chinese identity and race all of his life, which has meant that all he has ever wanted is to fit in. At the same time, his wife, Marilyn has dreamed of becoming a doctor and standing out as a woman in at the time, a heavily male-dominated profession, but is unable to achieve these dreams as she soon becomes pregnant and has to focus on her family. These unfulfilled dreams of the parents are then pushed onto Lydia, their favourite daughter who they prioritise above everyone else in the family, yet she only wants to conform to what her parents want her to be to make them happy, particularly her mother, leaving Lydia without a fixed identity and having very few people who understand her and her situation. This favouritism then means that the other children, Nath, and in particular, Hannah are ignored not just by their parents but also by each other yet they are also their own characters as Nath is hellbent on escaping the family by going to Harvard despite it meaning that he'll have to leave his sister behind, whilst Hannah almost acts as an observer rather than a person, due to her noticing things when the other characters don't.
This creates a fascinating family dynamic that is explored in both the past, when Lydia was alive, and the present, following her death and we see how the family's attempt to appear normal begins to crack under the pressure and can't handle it anymore. The themes of expectations, belonging and alienation, race, gender roles, and secrets were all really interesting to see throughout the book and it felt like they were all handled really well and carefully too. I also really liked that, while we as the reader can infer why Lydia did what she did, even though it's never explicitly said, the characters are even more in the dark than us due to the divisions that were present in the family leading up to Lydia's death, and so never truly know what happened, giving a sense of reality and realism like so many cases have in which the families don't often get closure nor do they get all the details.
Overall, this was a really fun and interesting book to read that kept me constantly interested and I liked the variety of themes that it covered. The lack of a fixed ending but also having some optimism for the future worked as an ending that didn't cop out and have a happy ending as an easy solution to a really complex storyline and character dynamics.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Cursing, Death, Racial slurs, Racism, Sexism, Suicide, Violence, Grief, Suicide attempt, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Child abuse, Confinement, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Mental illness, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Xenophobia, Death of parent, Toxic friendship, and Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Bullying, Homophobia, Rape, Vomit, Stalking, Cultural appropriation, Alcohol, and Classism
marissasa's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Everything I Never Told You is a moving story about a wasian family in Ohio in the 70s. It deals with racism, mixed-race identity, generational trauma, familial expectations, and societal norms placed on men and women in a really nuanced and well-thought out way. I was surprised by how invested I got in the drama between these messy family members and how despite them being flawed, oftentimes unlikeable characters, their backstories still made me feel empathy for them and their situations. This book proves that unhealthy parental pressure isn't just an asian thing (although that was also shown) and that white moms do it too!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Child abuse, Child death, Death, Mental illness, Racism, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Violence, Grief, Death of parent, Pregnancy, and Alcohol
rehannahb's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.5
big hugs to all the eldest daughters of asian families who were (consciously or subconsciously) pushed to become doctors 🙂↕️
james when i CATCH YOU
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Mental illness, Physical abuse, and Suicide attempt
Moderate: Infidelity
sloan_emmi92's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
Wow. This book was one of the most heartbreaking stories I’ve ever read. The way everything was portrayed made me feel like I understood perfectly, and the issues discussed and represented were put into perspective. I loved this story, and it’s so so sad but makes you reflect on life. This is so lighthearted read- that’s for sure. It would’ve been a 4 star, but just wasn’t QUITE there but such a great story. (I come back to the review and change someday- I haven’t decided yet:))
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Grief, and Abandonment
Moderate: Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Racial slurs, Racism, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Medical content, and Death of parent
Minor: Alcoholism and Alcohol
ni_colettee's review against another edition
emotional
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
I listened to the audiobook version and was wrapped in it from the beginning. The characters were relatable and the storyline, at times sad, also felt like one that was realistic.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death, Mental illness, and Suicide
tygergrl's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Racism, Suicide, Grief, and Alcohol
marytheblueberry's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Mental illness, Racism, and Suicide
Moderate: Classism
waytoomanybooks's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
I was fully ready to rate this book 5 stars until I read the twist ending that undercuts the first 80% of the book. Don't get me wrong though: it's beautifully and expertly written. The characters are richly described, have deep inner lives, and have exquisitely unique senses of their self. I appreciated the exploration of family dynamics at play, as well as seeing things from the point of view of characters of color as well.
I thoroughly enjoyed the book...except for the last 30 pages, which I will discuss in the spoiler tag below.
The catalyst for the entire novel is because Lydia had an accident. Even her death robbed her of her agency. I was going to give this book a five-out-of-five rating because I thought I was reading an actual true-to-life account of a teen struggling with depression, but no. She drowns on accident. Because her foot missed the dock when she was climbing out of the boat.
This book is just another example of literary fiction grief porn. Lydia "had to" die for her family to learn how to live. Even her death is only meaningful to those who are living. Even her death was taken away as a thing meant just for her.
I was hugely disappointed.
I thoroughly enjoyed the book...except for the last 30 pages, which I will discuss in the spoiler tag below.
This book is just another example of literary fiction grief porn. Lydia "had to" die for her family to learn how to live. Even her death is only meaningful to those who are living. Even her death was taken away as a thing meant just for her.
I was hugely disappointed.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Child death, Death, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Racial slurs, Grief, and Classism
Moderate: Bullying and Racism
bookwormfr_t0's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
What a beautifully written book. There are 5 characters we follow: Marilyn, James, Nath, Lydia, and Hannah; which sounds like a lot but each read distinctly from each other. They have their own internal struggles and distinctive thoughts that I think this story will appeal to all audiences; which was surprising because I did not expect to relate or identify with any of these characters but I did.
There are so many themes in this novel, but one that really stood out to me was how parents insecurities and expectations can impact children in a variety of ways. Specifically, how parents regrets from their own lives form how they raise their children, which can have negative effects.
Ng does a beautiful job weaving this story so delicately together it is filled with emotion and is tragically sad. The way Ng writes the character thoughts and emotions (especially Lydia) is visceral and palpable.
**I do see that it is categorized as a 'mystery/thriller' here on Storygraph, do not go into this book expecting a thriller. This is a tragic character study of a family suffering from loss and crushing grief.**
There are so many themes in this novel, but one that really stood out to me was how parents insecurities and expectations can impact children in a variety of ways. Specifically, how parents regrets from their own lives form how they raise their children, which can have negative effects.
Ng does a beautiful job weaving this story so delicately together it is filled with emotion and is tragically sad. The way Ng writes the character thoughts and emotions (especially Lydia) is visceral and palpable.
**I do see that it is categorized as a 'mystery/thriller' here on Storygraph, do not go into this book expecting a thriller. This is a tragic character study of a family suffering from loss and crushing grief.**
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Infidelity, Mental illness, Misogyny, Racial slurs, Racism, Suicidal thoughts, and Grief
bryelle's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
A girl goes missing and her body is found in a lake. Her family goes through grief trying to figure out what happened and coping with the lose of their loved one.
This books has many themes of internal struggle. All the characters are going through their own journeys of what their lives are.
Lydia, the girl who goes missing, wants to live up to her parents expectations. She pushes her self and only feels like she has her brother to support her.
Nath, going away to Harvard soon, feels like he is in Lydia’s shadow. His father hit him when he is young and he can never look at him the same.
Hannah, the baby that brought her mother back after she ran away to accomplish her dreams. No one pays attention to her, but she loves them all the same.
Marilyn, wanted to be a doctor, but fell in love and got pregnant. She pushed her goals on her daughter Lydia.
James, Asian man in a mostly white community. Always knows everyone is looking at him and his children.
This books has many themes of internal struggle. All the characters are going through their own journeys of what their lives are.
Lydia, the girl who goes missing, wants to live up to her parents expectations. She pushes her self and only feels like she has her brother to support her.
Nath, going away to Harvard soon, feels like he is in Lydia’s shadow. His father hit him when he is young and he can never look at him the same.
Hannah, the baby that brought her mother back after she ran away to accomplish her dreams. No one pays attention to her, but she loves them all the same.
Marilyn, wanted to be a doctor, but fell in love and got pregnant. She pushed her goals on her daughter Lydia.
James, Asian man in a mostly white community. Always knows everyone is looking at him and his children.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Child death, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Mental illness, Racial slurs, Racism, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Pregnancy, and Alcohol
Moderate: Outing