Reviews with content warning for Toxic relationship - Everything I Never Told You

Reviews tagging 'Toxic relationship'

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

34 reviews

david_slack110507's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful mysterious reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

I read this book for my A-Level English Literature coursework (as well as reading Wide Sargasso Sea for the coursework element of the course as well) and so I spent the majority of the summer putting nearly all of my reading motivation and progress into reading this book as well as annotating it and tabbing it which is much more than what I do for the other books I read and so hopefully explains the extra long time that the book took for me to read it especially because it is much shorter than my normal books.

In deeply analysing it, I feel like I have only enjoyed the book more because I really like this novel and that's quite shocking because while there is an initial plot of Lydia dying and the family trying to figure out how she died and once learning it was suicide, trying to figure out what drove her to that point and why, there isn't much plot outside of that and is almost entirely reliant on being driven by the characters at play. That's not a bad thing as the characters in the book are incredibly complex and interesting to read about, however, it's just not my usual style of a book as i usually have something plot focused or a mix between plot and character focus, but this didn't disappoint.

As I mentioned, the characters are all really complex and developed starting with the father, James, being ashamed of his Chinese identity and race all of his life, which has meant that all he has ever wanted is to fit in. At the same time, his wife, Marilyn has dreamed of becoming a doctor and standing out as a woman in at the time, a heavily male-dominated profession, but is unable to achieve these dreams as she soon becomes pregnant and has to focus on her family. These unfulfilled dreams of the parents are then pushed onto Lydia, their favourite daughter who they prioritise above everyone else in the family, yet she only wants to conform to what her parents want her to be to make them happy, particularly her mother, leaving Lydia without a fixed identity and having very few people who understand her and her situation. This favouritism then means that the other children, Nath, and in particular, Hannah are ignored not just by their parents but also by each other yet they are also their own characters as Nath is hellbent on escaping the family by going to Harvard despite it meaning that he'll have to leave his sister behind, whilst Hannah almost acts as an observer rather than a person, due to her noticing things when the other characters don't.

This creates a fascinating family dynamic that is explored in both the past, when Lydia was alive, and the present, following her death and we see how the family's attempt to appear normal begins to crack under the pressure and can't handle it anymore. The themes of expectations, belonging and alienation, race, gender roles, and secrets were all really interesting to see throughout the book and it felt like they were all handled really well and carefully too. I also really liked that, while we as the reader can infer why Lydia did what she did, even though it's never explicitly said, the characters are even more in the dark than us due to the divisions that were present in the family leading up to Lydia's death, and so never truly know what happened, giving a sense of reality and realism like so many cases have in which the families don't often get closure nor do they get all the details.

Overall, this was a really fun and interesting book to read that kept me constantly interested and I liked the variety of themes that it covered. The lack of a fixed ending but also having some optimism for the future worked as an ending that didn't cop out and have a happy ending as an easy solution to a really complex storyline and character dynamics.

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marissasa's review against another edition

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emotional reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Everything I Never Told You is a moving story about a wasian family in Ohio in the 70s. It deals with racism, mixed-race identity, generational trauma, familial expectations, and societal norms placed on men and women in a really nuanced and well-thought out way. I was surprised by how invested I got in the drama between these messy family members and how despite them being flawed, oftentimes unlikeable characters, their backstories still made me feel empathy for them and their situations. This book proves that unhealthy parental pressure isn't just an asian thing (although that was also shown) and that white moms do it too!

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angievansprang's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional mysterious reflective sad tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Plot
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Oof. This was a heavy read. The content is very dark and I found the family dynamics hard to read about as I just felt so awful for the kids. Really goes to show the trickle-down effects of parents not dealing with their own issues and then putting said issues on their children. VERY sad read but extremely beautiful writing. I’m excited to read more by Celeste Ng.

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mbattiest's review against another edition

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dark emotional mysterious tense fast-paced

3.5

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sloan_emmi92's review against another edition

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dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

Wow. This book was one of the most heartbreaking stories I’ve ever read. The way everything was portrayed made me feel like I understood perfectly, and the issues discussed and represented were put into perspective. I loved this story, and it’s so so sad but makes you reflect on life. This is so lighthearted read- that’s for sure. It would’ve been a 4 star, but just wasn’t QUITE there but such a great story. (I come back to the review and change someday- I haven’t decided yet:))

Content Warnings

jenniferbbookdragon's review against another edition

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dark emotional sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

Celeste Ng does an amazing job writing about trauma, racism, misogyny, and dysfunctional families. This gut-wrenching story of a teen girl's disappearance and death moves back and forth between before and after the tragedy and demonstrates how experiences from childhood can create generations of pain. The main story takes place in 1977 Ohio, but reaches back to China, California, Virginia, and Boston.
I found it a painful reading experience, especially the scenes with parents lashing out at their children, and the amount of secrets every single family member is carrying will break your heart. I am glad I read it for a book club because I need to discuss and process it with others.

Content Warnings