Reviews tagging 'Death of parent'

If I Had Your Face by Frances Cha

14 reviews

daniellekat's review against another edition

reflective fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

2.25

This was the definition of OK. I didn't hate reading it, but nothing about it was particularly compelling. The author made some strange choices in the writing and structure of the book (i.e. no Sujin POV, ending the book mid way through the cycle of character POVs, so many odd paragraph breaks, etc.) I thought the general content of the book was interesting, especially since I'm far removed from South Korean culture, but I felt like Cha was trying to cover too many topics. As a debut the writing was solid, but the overall book could have been more tightly edited. The open-ending makes me wary of recommending this but I'd probably pick up Cha's writing again.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Body shaming, Misogyny, Sexism, Toxic relationship, Toxic friendship, Alcohol, and Classism

Moderate: Sexual content, Violence, Vomit, Grief, and Pregnancy

Minor: Miscarriage, Suicide, and Death of parent

sex work

rexpostfacto's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcoholism, Body horror, Body shaming, Child abuse, Abandonment, Alcohol, and Classism

Moderate: Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Medical content, Grief, Death of parent, and Pregnancy

Minor: Miscarriage, Sexual content, Violence, and Xenophobia

leannanecdote's review against another edition

challenging dark hopeful reflective medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Cursing, Domestic abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Infertility, Infidelity, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Blood, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Death of parent, Pregnancy, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, Dysphoria, Injury/Injury detail, and Classism

ashley_turch's review

dark reflective slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Literally could not put this down. I was captivated the entire time. I LOVE a multiple POV and this did it so well. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Body shaming, Child abuse, Fatphobia, Infidelity, Physical abuse, Sexism, Medical content, Pregnancy, Abandonment, and Classism

Moderate: Cursing, Infertility, Violence, and Death of parent

dylanrea's review against another edition

dark funny hopeful inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

A wonderful novel. Delves into so many topics of womanhood in modern day Seoul (and indeed most of modern society), highlighting both good and bad in each area, navigating through these 5 women’s lives. Each character has their flaws and redeeming qualities, but they are all undoubtedly loveable.

I love Frances Cha’s writing style - I hope she writes more books! 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Eating disorder, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Sexism, Sexual content, Violence, Alcohol, Injury/Injury detail, and Classism

Moderate: Miscarriage

Minor: Death of parent

vintovka's review against another edition

dark emotional hopeful sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Plot
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.5

So, the thing you need to understand about IIHYF is it's painfully short. I doubt it has more than 70k words, while having five main characters and four p.o.v.'s. So. Yeah.

The book got surprising amount of events and things happening on its pages, but not a lot of character development.  Most of it is ambigiously left off screen. Did Ara realise something about the nature of parasocial relationship and consumption? Does Wonna have a chance of actually being a good mother in the future, or will her trauma ruin any of her children? Will Miho get over her friend's suicide, and what will it do to her? Will Seunjin regret going down the route of debt and prostitution? I don't know. I can only guess. Which kind of leaves me wondering what even was the point. 

I love reading about the good, the bad and the ugly of different female experiences, so I was excited for this book. It gave of vibes of kind of an antithesis to girls' fairy tales and female wish-fullfillment fantasies. It's not _not_ that, but because it's not anything at all. I got attached to the characters and their lives, but the ending left me stumped. What did the book want to say? What was the point of me reading all that?

The book's redeeming qualities are being short and having good, flowing prose, but in the end, IIHYF is a snapshot of how it sucks to be a poor south korean woman, and it doesn't have anything more than that.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Cursing, Misogyny, Sexism, Medical content, Pregnancy, Alcohol, and Classism

Moderate: Ableism, Body shaming, Bullying, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Sexual content, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Abortion, and Death of parent

jrisants's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes

5.0

 I started this book having been warned that “it is not happy.” Overall I am struck by the scrappiness, confusion, and community that are born out of struggle. Even though on the whole the book is not happy, as it ended I could not help but reflect on how grateful I am for the ways that women will show up for each other, care for each other, and blend their lives together when the rest of the world fails them.

There is no true conflict or resolution in the book and it reads as vignettes from the lives of five women in South Korea, all of them with unfortunate childhoods. Their experiences can serve as cautionary tales for the ills born of sexism and classism, and the characters themselves sway between upholding these ideals, criticizing them, and suffering from them.

In one of the stories Miho is in New York navigating a world full of new cultural norms and surrounded by acquaintances who have already lived abroad and come from rich families. At a party she compliments the pink walls which were decorated by a Portuguese designer, and the compliment is brushed off and treated as against custom to speak about. Later Papa John’s is ordered for the guests and everyone responds excitedly to the food. Miho reflects to herself that she is learning you cannot compliment beautiful decor, but you can make a fuss over takeout food and that these are the things she is still trying to learn and navigate.

Miho also later discussed her experiences with other artists and how she assumes coming from a wealthy family means that you must be happy—but when she looks on the art of the wealthy students she sees deep despair, almost indicating that their suffering has been worse than hers.

At various points in the book there are deep comparisons between men’s experience compared to women, and the wealthy compared to those in poverty. Wrapped in these comparisons are the changed expectations and challenges of the young generation. We see this when Ara finally meets Tain and her idol is cruel abs ruins her perception of him. This plays out again with Kyuri and Bruce who is so nice to her at AJax and then violent when he sees her in his world. Wonna with her aunt and uncle, and even her husband who all have lives that she cannot touch and she seems to both idolize and resent them for it. Soogin is the only one who seems completely removed from these comparisons, seemingly having had a live that never invited her to mingle with those systemically better off than her. She also seems to be the force that knits these women together. She protects and sees power in each of the women, and she creates scenarios for them to pursue it. It is almost as if full acceptance of her position is what enables her to joyfully expect better and rebel against it. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Ableism, Body shaming, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Mental illness, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Death of parent, Abandonment, and Sexual harassment

semi's review against another edition

dark sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Child abuse, Misogyny, Pregnancy, and Classism

Minor: Miscarriage and Death of parent

potatokao's review against another edition

dark emotional hopeful sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? N/A
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

an intimate look into each of the women’s lives ranging in their 20s, living in seoul. the way it was written with perspective changes shows their raw and honest thoughts about their individual struggles and responses to their environment. things you wouldnt want to say out loud. it makes the characters more whole, neither good nor bad, a product of their upbringing. heavy themes of friendship, family, in laws, women in society.

at first i felt like the pace and setting the author set made it so that the girls were only suffering and not able to enjoy anything in life and it made me sad to get into the book. maybe halfway when the plot seems to progress a little more, the characters become more active and living. 

the connections between all the girls is what makes the book. i love how intertwined they are. they judge each other, they love each other, they get annoyed, they care, they go through life together. not the best of friends, but clearly helped by each other’s company. not family, but all they have for some of them. people who are important to them and people they can be honest with. 

i only wish i didnt have to wait half way into the book to see that and there are some parts of their past that are never fully explained. but i understand it’s hard to develop individual characters AND their relationship with one another. once all the characters and their backgrounds are in place, it is well worth it to get to know them. 

the ending of the book is what makes it for me. this gradual warmth and hope, like spring air has blown in. it could have ended in any way but this warm ending is what makes me feel that their connection is so full of love and care. life isnt going to suddenly be better but i hope they stay together and work through life together. sending hugs to the girls. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Bullying and Violence

Moderate: Death, Fatphobia, Miscarriage, Sexism, Sexual content, Medical content, Death of parent, Alcohol, Injury/Injury detail, and Classism

Minor: Rape and Suicide

vixenreader's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

It has a great commentary on beauty standards and gender politics for women in South Korea. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Misogyny, Sexism, Sexual content, Medical content, Medical trauma, Pregnancy, Cultural appropriation, Alcohol, and Injury/Injury detail

Moderate: Child abuse, Child death, Cursing, Infidelity, Panic attacks/disorders, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Police brutality, Grief, Death of parent, and Toxic friendship

Minor: Bullying, Death, Drug use, Abortion, and Abandonment

If surgery makes you queasy, be prepared for some stomach-turning scenes, and whorephobia is something to watch out for as well.