scarlet_frost's review against another edition
2.0
This book was rather tedious to get through for me. It was a regurgitation of a lot of positive psychology works I’ve already read about/ learned. There was some woo woo spiritual stuff and some religious talk in the middle of the book which confused me because it was a bit out of nowhere. I got the impression while reading this that I was being lectured to basically just “do the right thing, suck it up and don’t let people get to you” which is basically the average person’s advice.
The tips near the end seem useful, however they are well known to me and can easily be found on any google search.
In all, I was expecting some original thoughts from this Phd educated writer, however according to him I should not have expectations, that way I will not be disappointed.
The tips near the end seem useful, however they are well known to me and can easily be found on any google search.
In all, I was expecting some original thoughts from this Phd educated writer, however according to him I should not have expectations, that way I will not be disappointed.
terrimpin's review against another edition
4.0
"Almost anyone can be warm, kind, and generous when he is in a positive mood. However, a true indicator of emotional health is when a person can respond to the needs of another with care and patience even while in a low emotional state or under physical distress."
"Everything in life is draining for the person who doesn’t like who he has become. It’s like working for a boss we despise; even the most minor task triggers annoyance."
"Everything in life is draining for the person who doesn’t like who he has become. It’s like working for a boss we despise; even the most minor task triggers annoyance."
leigh_ann_15_deaf's review against another edition
1.5
DNF p. 63
There are a few tautological quotes and clear definitions of terms that can be useful, but discussions (particularly of real-world examples) are woefully incomplete and ultimately detract from and confuse his arguments. Lieberman engages in victim-blaming, ignoring medical and social literature on issues such as addiction and obesity (reducing both to being a result of a lack of self-discipline). (Amazingly, when he talks about escapism and addiction to tech, his rhetoric changes to a much more compassionate tone and he explains the science behind this addiction—which is completely lacking from discussions on other addictions. Inconsistency? Irony? Egoism?) He also brings up the marshmallow test, in which small children were asked to delay gratification for a larger reward later on, but this also ignores realities that the children who immediately ate their marshmallows were acting based on previous experiences of unfulfilled promises/rewards or on their current needs (eg, I’m hungry now and this marshmallow will alleviate my hunger).
What the author fails to provide is the larger context, pulling from flattened examples and stereotypes to bolster his own arguments. He also keeps infantilizing angry adults by comparing them to children who have not developed emotional control, couching the “quit being such a baby” rhetoric in more formal language.
What the author fails to provide is the larger context, pulling from flattened examples and stereotypes to bolster his own arguments. He also keeps infantilizing angry adults by comparing them to children who have not developed emotional control, couching the “quit being such a baby” rhetoric in more formal language.
His rhetoric is also incredibly binary. If you have a broad perspective on life, recognizing you can only control your attitude and choices, you’ll be happy. If you’re egocentric, you’ll be unhappy. There’s no mention of an in-between or a state of flux. You’re either-or at any one moment of your life, regardless of life circumstances. He suggests you can only feel one emotion at a time, and these boil down to positive or negative (how would he classify bittersweetness?), which in turn affect the choices you make and impact your quality of life—after he’s argued that people who let emotions make their decisions (as opposed to logic) end up having a worse quality of life. Make up your mind!
The first paragraph in his “Special Note to Readers” at the very end of the book acknowledges mental illness as a result of “serious trauma or a genetic disposition” and stated that these individuals get angry (lack self-control) through no fault of their own. This comes after hammering the reader over the head throughout the book that *everyone* who gets angry or struggles with addiction or has more body fat than average simply lacks discipline. So this special note is really a sort of afterthought to cover his backside.
The only reason it isn’t 1 star is because I can appreciate the nuggets of information that actually make sense (the tautologies and definitions/explanations). The book is simply reinforcing/assigning blame to individuals for things like addiction which is an outdated and uncompassionate stance, and is overall confused by the inconsistencies and too-brief discussions at many points.
enantiodromia's review against another edition
1.0
Hard pass, even the first few chapters are full of pseudoscience or outdated science. Ego this, ego that, even just stating that somebody who is arrogant and egotistical feels insecure has been proven incorrect by psychology. Considering who the author is I do not understand why this false belief is in the book.
zechfrost's review against another edition
informative
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
The guidance in this book is very helpful and researched. At one point the author starts talking about the Christian God out of nowhere. But it’s pretty brief when it happens and I’d say just skip the section where there is a capital G God if this could bother you. The rest of the book is genuinely worth reading and gives very actionable steps with sited research as the source.
mioree's review against another edition
2.0
2⭐️
This book started off strong. Then went quite religious suddenly for a couple of chapters. The last third of the book was actionable tips, but somehow left a very meh feeling.
I benefited from the first third. Was dragging myself through to the end after that.
This book started off strong. Then went quite religious suddenly for a couple of chapters. The last third of the book was actionable tips, but somehow left a very meh feeling.
I benefited from the first third. Was dragging myself through to the end after that.
shrekdaddy666's review against another edition
It’s boring, repetitive and religious. It made me angrier.
sgrewal's review against another edition
2.0
The religious aspects of this book are not relatable. I feel mislead as the first part of the book didn’t reveal that this book would rely on heavily on God, the soul, and the Bible.
kiwi_fruit's review against another edition
3.0
Our self-esteem, not our intelligence, determines the direction of our behavior. An intelligent person has the potential to make better choices, but his motivation and capability to do so are determined by his perspective or emotional health.
Anger inhibits our ability to see clearly (because the ego distorts our perspective) and our ability to intellectually process information (due to the impact of elevated cortisol levels). Moreover, coping with any kind of stress depletes our willpower, and a chaotic mind and tense nervous system strain our efforts to maintain our calm, regardless of our finest intentions.
Be real. Be honest. What you say to yourself in the heat of the moment tilts your emotional state and subsequent response. You must stay in the world of truth because any lie divides your energy and moves you into the world of falsehood, the home of the ego. You cannot, therefore, force yourself to think, I am calm, and I don’t care. All you are doing is lying to yourself. This is one shortcoming of affirmations.
Anger manifests when life doesn’t meet our expectations, when reality surprises us, shocks us. The ego doesn’t like these unpleasant surprises, because it needs to feel in control.