tasmanian_bibliophile's review
4.0
‘Our house was double-brick basket of stone fruit.’
Ruhi knows that she has fallen short of her parents’ expectations. For Ruhi, to be a ‘good Indian daughter’ means being someone completely different, negotiating a minefield of cultural expectations and being able to reconcile a lifetime’s full of conflicting messages. Ruhi has muddled through. But when she marries and becomes pregnant, Ruhi is overwhelmed by the emotional baggage she is carrying. Ruhi decided to face the past before her baby is born.
Ruhi and her parents emigrated from India to Melbourne, Australia when Ruhi was young. Like many other emigrants, Ruhi’s parents have made this momentous decision to provide a better life for their children. But the weight of these expectations combined with cultural differences can be a huge burden for any child, and Ruhi’s self-esteem is shattered.
Can Ruhi find herself if she revisits the past? Can her parents accept her for who she is rather than their idealised view of who she should be and rejecting her differences?
This is a well-written brutally honest account of reclaiming a life battered by the expectations of others. I think many readers from a variety of backgrounds will be able to relate to Ruhi’s journey. Yes, it is complicated by cultural issues but the underlying theme of ‘never feeling good enough’ is one many will understand.
I felt sorry for both Ruhi and her parents. Moving from one country to another can unsettle the strongest of families. Add in cultural differences and expectations, and the picture becomes more complex. I admire Ruhi for undertaking the journey to reclaim her life and hope that her entire family learns (and benefits) from the journey.
Well worth reading.
Jennifer Cameron-Smith
Ruhi knows that she has fallen short of her parents’ expectations. For Ruhi, to be a ‘good Indian daughter’ means being someone completely different, negotiating a minefield of cultural expectations and being able to reconcile a lifetime’s full of conflicting messages. Ruhi has muddled through. But when she marries and becomes pregnant, Ruhi is overwhelmed by the emotional baggage she is carrying. Ruhi decided to face the past before her baby is born.
Ruhi and her parents emigrated from India to Melbourne, Australia when Ruhi was young. Like many other emigrants, Ruhi’s parents have made this momentous decision to provide a better life for their children. But the weight of these expectations combined with cultural differences can be a huge burden for any child, and Ruhi’s self-esteem is shattered.
Can Ruhi find herself if she revisits the past? Can her parents accept her for who she is rather than their idealised view of who she should be and rejecting her differences?
This is a well-written brutally honest account of reclaiming a life battered by the expectations of others. I think many readers from a variety of backgrounds will be able to relate to Ruhi’s journey. Yes, it is complicated by cultural issues but the underlying theme of ‘never feeling good enough’ is one many will understand.
I felt sorry for both Ruhi and her parents. Moving from one country to another can unsettle the strongest of families. Add in cultural differences and expectations, and the picture becomes more complex. I admire Ruhi for undertaking the journey to reclaim her life and hope that her entire family learns (and benefits) from the journey.
Well worth reading.
Jennifer Cameron-Smith
readingthroughinfinity's review against another edition
challenging
dark
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.0
A really interesting, compelling memoir about Ruhi Lee's childhood growing up in India and her adult life in Australia. This was incredibly readable and I flew through most of it in one sitting.
Lee candidly discusses her own mental health and the outcomes of her therapy sessions, as well as commenting body shaming, misogyny, and societal expectations of young girls and women in India. She describes how she had a happy childhood at times, but one that was frequently fraught with physical abuse and beatings at the hands of her father and body shaming by her mother.
She also explains how her decision to attend therapy because of childhood trauma (her uncle sexually abusing/assaulting her) impacted her relationship with her parents (who initially tried to pretend it hadn't happened). Many of her reflections on her earlier life are made in comparison to the childhood she wishes her daughter to have; one free of judgement and happy and safe.
Lee candidly discusses her own mental health and the outcomes of her therapy sessions, as well as commenting body shaming, misogyny, and societal expectations of young girls and women in India. She describes how she had a happy childhood at times, but one that was frequently fraught with physical abuse and beatings at the hands of her father and body shaming by her mother.
She also explains how her decision to attend therapy because of childhood trauma (her uncle sexually abusing/assaulting her) impacted her relationship with her parents (who initially tried to pretend it hadn't happened). Many of her reflections on her earlier life are made in comparison to the childhood she wishes her daughter to have; one free of judgement and happy and safe.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Body shaming, Child abuse, Fatphobia, Misogyny, Emotional abuse, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Pregnancy, Racism, and Sexual assault
Minor: Car accident, Mental illness, and Suicidal thoughts
archytas's review against another edition
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.5
This started out quite light, but Lee delves deeper as the memoir progresses, with some more difficult topics in the latter half. It is engaging and smart and, ultimately, hopeful read.