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maggiefaye's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Chronic illness, Infertility, Infidelity, Mental illness, Sexual content, Grief, Pregnancy, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Death of parent
davidbythebay's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Absolutely brilliant! A lovely and devastating book that looks at a marriage from the 1980s through 2008, all with the background of Nigeria and its political turmoil.
I first heard about this back in 2017 on NPR. I bought the book right before the pandemic started in 2020. And I finally read it now in September 2022. I do not know why I waited. If the discussion on NPR and the description wasn't enough, Margaret Atwood's Twitter review ("Scorching, gripping, ultimately lovely.") Should have really pushed this book forward for me as Atwood is an all-time favorite author of mine. But somehow I kept putting this off.
First, let me say that it did take me a minute to get into the swing of things. By that I mean that sometimes Nigerian customs and phrases are used that usually have context clues or translations around where they are, but as I am fascinated by culture and language I often was paused by. Also, and more importantly, the story does have a dual POV which is never explicitly labeled at the start of a chapter. It was easy to pick up within the first paragraph or sentence who was talking, but it did throw me off a bit at first.
The dual timeline (east Part begins in 2008 before going back in time to the 1980s and 90s) was easy to discern. It was very much a few chapters in 2008 with the majority of the book being a linear story of Akin and Yejide's marriage. What they went through was devastating and I won't go into it much here, but know that if you are sensitive to some topics, be warned.
Those "gripes" being laid out now, the whole book from start to finish was a captivating journey that really did sing off the page. It was lyrical and completely immersive. I learned a lot about Nigerian customs and traditions, as well as some history. This story, though, could really have been set anywhere at anytime. It is a universal story of marriage. The setting and timeperiod, however, added a whole other layer to the work and really was absolutely beautiful. Gorgeous prose sang off the page and left haunting images.
The ending felt completely right and full. Though Part 4 is short, the book has led to this moment and you can feel it. There is a hope and a future that is shadowy and unseen, but there is a great feeling at the end that left me feeling elated by the book.
Do not hesitate like I did... read this now! I see the author has a new novel coming out early next year. My plan is to not wait on that as I did this one. A new classic to be sure and a brilliant debut novel.
I first heard about this back in 2017 on NPR. I bought the book right before the pandemic started in 2020. And I finally read it now in September 2022. I do not know why I waited. If the discussion on NPR and the description wasn't enough, Margaret Atwood's Twitter review ("Scorching, gripping, ultimately lovely.") Should have really pushed this book forward for me as Atwood is an all-time favorite author of mine. But somehow I kept putting this off.
First, let me say that it did take me a minute to get into the swing of things. By that I mean that sometimes Nigerian customs and phrases are used that usually have context clues or translations around where they are, but as I am fascinated by culture and language I often was paused by. Also, and more importantly, the story does have a dual POV which is never explicitly labeled at the start of a chapter. It was easy to pick up within the first paragraph or sentence who was talking, but it did throw me off a bit at first.
The dual timeline (east Part begins in 2008 before going back in time to the 1980s and 90s) was easy to discern. It was very much a few chapters in 2008 with the majority of the book being a linear story of Akin and Yejide's marriage. What they went through was devastating and I won't go into it much here, but know that if you are sensitive to some topics, be warned.
Those "gripes" being laid out now, the whole book from start to finish was a captivating journey that really did sing off the page. It was lyrical and completely immersive. I learned a lot about Nigerian customs and traditions, as well as some history. This story, though, could really have been set anywhere at anytime. It is a universal story of marriage. The setting and timeperiod, however, added a whole other layer to the work and really was absolutely beautiful. Gorgeous prose sang off the page and left haunting images.
The ending felt completely right and full. Though Part 4 is short, the book has led to this moment and you can feel it. There is a hope and a future that is shadowy and unseen, but there is a great feeling at the end that left me feeling elated by the book.
Do not hesitate like I did... read this now! I see the author has a new novel coming out early next year. My plan is to not wait on that as I did this one. A new classic to be sure and a brilliant debut novel.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pregnancy
Moderate: Child death, Chronic illness, Death, Infidelity, Mental illness, Violence, Blood, Medical content, Grief, Death of parent, Murder, Gaslighting, Abandonment, and Alcohol
reading_and_roaming20's review against another edition
emotional
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Oh my poor, poor heart. It is heavy and sad and feeling many feels. That’s it. That’s the review.
Ok jk, that’s not the whole review but that’s the gist.
I really enjoyed the dual timelines happening here. The structure was similar to THE ISLAND OF SEA WOMEN where we’re in the character’s present day every few chapters and learning about the past for the majority of the book.
In this case, we got to see Yejide and Amin’s marriage from both of their perspectives. Watching them go from young and in love, knowing from the first chapter that they don’t wind up together, pulled me right in. They had so much stacked against them with infertility and the cultural family pressure to have children. (Big trigger warning there.)
In a short 260 pages, this story hits time and time again with heartbreaking twists that had me pausing to soak in what I had just read.
AND THAT ENDING. I can’t express myself properly without spoilers. It just………..it was good but it hurt.
This is the kind of book that you have to be in the right mindset for. That said, if you’re ready to wind up emotionally ragged, it is absolutely a must-read. I loved it. I am sad. The end.
Ok jk, that’s not the whole review but that’s the gist.
I really enjoyed the dual timelines happening here. The structure was similar to THE ISLAND OF SEA WOMEN where we’re in the character’s present day every few chapters and learning about the past for the majority of the book.
In this case, we got to see Yejide and Amin’s marriage from both of their perspectives. Watching them go from young and in love, knowing from the first chapter that they don’t wind up together, pulled me right in. They had so much stacked against them with infertility and the cultural family pressure to have children. (Big trigger warning there.)
In a short 260 pages, this story hits time and time again with heartbreaking twists that had me pausing to soak in what I had just read.
AND THAT ENDING. I can’t express myself properly without spoilers. It just………..it was good but it hurt.
This is the kind of book that you have to be in the right mindset for. That said, if you’re ready to wind up emotionally ragged, it is absolutely a must-read. I loved it. I am sad. The end.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Infertility, Mental illness, Terminal illness, and Pregnancy
cantfindmybookmark's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Chronic illness, Infertility, Infidelity, Mental illness, Grief, and Gaslighting
n_li_re's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Death, Infertility, Infidelity, Sexism, and Pregnancy
Moderate: Sexual content, Terminal illness, Violence, Vomit, Death of parent, Murder, and War
Minor: Mental illness, Blood, Excrement, Medical content, Medical trauma, and Alcohol
bandysbooks's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
This book went in way different directions than I was expecting. It is a very dark story and unbearably sad. I found myself viscerally frustrated at several points while reading.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Death, Infertility, Infidelity, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Medical content, Grief, Pregnancy, Gaslighting, and Abandonment
lilyarmer's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
mysterious
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? N/A
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.25
Content Warnings
Moderate: Child death, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Terminal illness, Violence, and Grief
dotoridoritou's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Death, Emotional abuse, Infertility, Infidelity, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Sexism, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Violence, Grief, and Pregnancy
Moderate: Death of parent
Minor: Murder
ejb44's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Set in Nigeria during the 1990s and early 2000s, Stay with Me by Ayọ̀bámi Adébáyọ̀ follows Yejide and Akin on their troubled path to parenthood. The contrast between traditional family values and modern citizens breaking that norm permeates the book and is the centre of the conflict. The family are at cross-roads, with opinions rooted in Yoruba tradition and culture circling Yejide and Akin in their journey to conceive.
Though mainly from the perspective of Yejide in the beginning, the book alternates between the two, so we read the raw emotions of both these adults as they are trying to conceive. The scale of emotional depth throughout the book is next to none, and for a debut novel, it is so raw and heart breaking that it often felt I was the protagonist going through the journey myself.
The beauty of the writing, a style I would like to Purple Hibiscus, is what grounds the novel. Such detail to precision and a clear choice of words and plot is rare in best-selling novels and Adébáyọ̀ didn’t miss a beat in creating an enticing plot that had well developed characters and the right level of emotion to sustain the reader throughout. Adébáyọ̀ weaves the story in such a timely manner where each chapter unveils a new aspect to the story, a different angle or emotion for the reader to explore alongside the characters, and the quick pace of the novel never felt out of place. For a debut author to have such control of her writing is astonishing to see.
My greatest joy when reading this book was seeing how flawed the characters were – time and time again, especially in marriages, writings will portray relationships as either toxic or perfect, with little room for complex analysis for themes of marital issues, divorce, cheating, infertility, child death and other more difficult subjects to discuss, but Adébáyọ̀ makes sure to centre these characters as flawed humans who are real and touchable. The book didn’t focus on who is accountable or who is to blame but just accepts that people are broken and don’t actually need fixing. This was a refreshing take on marriage, particularly marriages between African’s which often centre on African misconceptions (though, obviously, not untrue in some cases) like domestic violence and polygamy.
The only thing that didn’t sit right with me was the ending, especially because I was so ready for this to be a five-star book. While I find it difficult to pin-point the actual reason why it annoys me so much, I thought the ending felt a little too simplistic and optimistic, especially when compared to the turbulence of the novel and the complex discussions and narratives that played throughout. I was gearing myself up for this novel to rip out my heart at the end, but in reality, I just felt numb to the ending, and perhaps that is my fault for always expecting the worst in novels.
Overall, if you fell in love with the poetic language in Purple Hibiscus or want a novel that deals with Nigerian culture in the midst of their loose democracy being challenged, and also explores parenthood, polygamy and the dual narrative this book provides, I would highly recommend this read as it is so beautifully written.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Gun violence, Infertility, Infidelity, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Violence, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Murder, and Pregnancy
bookedbymadeline's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Chronic illness, Infertility, Infidelity, Mental illness, Terminal illness, Violence, and Grief
Moderate: Gun violence, Sexual content, Blood, Medical content, Medical trauma, and Death of parent
Minor: Domestic abuse, Rape, Vomit, Police brutality, and Murder