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nadiamasood's review against another edition
dark
emotional
informative
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
This book took me through every emotion—hope, admiration, anger, heartbreak, frustration, and even disgust. Adébáyọ̀’s writing completely pulled me in, and I just couldn’t put it down. I had both the ebook and audiobook from the library and when I wasn’t reading, I was thinking about it. I finished the book in 2 days!
This book gives a great glimpse into Nigeria’s culture, traditions, and family dynamics—some of which are actually pretty similar to my own society. It made it easy for me to relate to what the characters were going through.
Stay with Me starts as a love story but quickly dives into darker themes like toxic masculinity, cultural pressures, and the intense struggles around motherhood. Infertility and its mental toll is the central theme, which could be triggering for some readers.
Yejide is a complex character who faces immense pressure to have children in a society that blames infertility solely on women and defines womanhood by motherhood.
As the story unfolds, her husband's secrets, the stress of infertility, and societal pressure push Yejide to her breaking point. She grapples with both imagined and real pregnancies, shifting from the isolation of being childless to the trauma of loss, ultimately shutting down emotionally and leaving Akin behind. Adébáyọ̀’s portrayal of Nigerian culture stands out, showing how tradition often gaslights women into silence and sacrifices.
Set against Nigeria’s political chaos from the 1980s to 2008, I think the novel beautifully contrasts public unrest with the characters' private struggles.
The storytelling is smooth and engaging. I like how Adébáyọ̀ sort of skips long descriptions and just dives right into the drama and dialogue, making the book feel sharp and to the point.
There are a few reasons why I couldn't give this book 5 stars.First, it's hard to believe that a university-educated grown woman who has access to a library to look for sickle cell disease is completely clueless about basic human reproductive physiology and is unable to suspect and look up impotence. Second, has NO ONE ever heard of artificial insemination? Not even the brilliant doctors treating Akin's condition? I am totally disgusted by the solution he came up with!!! And finally, how easily did Akin get away from both murder and attempted murder? He deserved punishment! I felt the ending was unfair to Yijide.
This book really drew me in and shook me. I get that people are willing to sacrifice a lot to have a child—and that’s totally their right—but crossing certain lines just feels wrong. Some mistakes come with a cost that can make us lose ourselves and our ability to love and care as human beings.
This book is great for readers who enjoy thought-provoking literary fiction, especially those interested in Nigerian culture. It may resonate with anyone navigating issues of fertility and identity, but be aware that it includes sensitive topics like infertility, terminal illness, death, and mental health, which might be triggering for some.
This book gives a great glimpse into Nigeria’s culture, traditions, and family dynamics—some of which are actually pretty similar to my own society. It made it easy for me to relate to what the characters were going through.
Stay with Me starts as a love story but quickly dives into darker themes like toxic masculinity, cultural pressures, and the intense struggles around motherhood. Infertility and its mental toll is the central theme, which could be triggering for some readers.
Yejide is a complex character who faces immense pressure to have children in a society that blames infertility solely on women and defines womanhood by motherhood.
As the story unfolds, her husband's secrets, the stress of infertility, and societal pressure push Yejide to her breaking point. She grapples with both imagined and real pregnancies, shifting from the isolation of being childless to the trauma of loss, ultimately shutting down emotionally and leaving Akin behind. Adébáyọ̀’s portrayal of Nigerian culture stands out, showing how tradition often gaslights women into silence and sacrifices.
Set against Nigeria’s political chaos from the 1980s to 2008, I think the novel beautifully contrasts public unrest with the characters' private struggles.
The storytelling is smooth and engaging. I like how Adébáyọ̀ sort of skips long descriptions and just dives right into the drama and dialogue, making the book feel sharp and to the point.
There are a few reasons why I couldn't give this book 5 stars.
This book really drew me in and shook me. I get that people are willing to sacrifice a lot to have a child—and that’s totally their right—but crossing certain lines just feels wrong. Some mistakes come with a cost that can make us lose ourselves and our ability to love and care as human beings.
This book is great for readers who enjoy thought-provoking literary fiction, especially those interested in Nigerian culture. It may resonate with anyone navigating issues of fertility and identity, but be aware that it includes sensitive topics like infertility, terminal illness, death, and mental health, which might be triggering for some.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Infertility, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Violence, Murder, and Gaslighting
Moderate: Terminal illness and Death of parent
kellyofcali's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
A very tough story - not for those who cannot deal with a series of crushing blows - but well written and I did feel it paints a picture of a certain place and experience. I don't know if I can say I enjoyed it, per se, given the heaviness, but I am glad I read it. I will say it is "pitched" mush differently than it reads - it's more about being in a marriage, relationships, and being a parent than about a second wife. I also found it ended a bit suddenly for me.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Chronic illness, Death, Infertility, Infidelity, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Grief, Pregnancy, Gaslighting, and Dysphoria
Moderate: Physical abuse, Sexual content, Violence, Medical content, and Abandonment
Minor: War
prairiek's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death
Moderate: Emotional abuse, Infertility, Infidelity, Mental illness, Violence, Pregnancy, Gaslighting, Abandonment, and Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Bullying, Chronic illness, Death, Sexual content, and Death of parent
sharifas's review against another edition
emotional
sad
tense
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Infertility, Misogyny, and Gaslighting
vedpears's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Loved this book. The story sucked me in right away and made me tear up and/or cry a few times. As a mother, there were certain plot points that struck very deeply.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Chronic illness, Death, Infertility, Infidelity, Terminal illness, Grief, Pregnancy, Gaslighting, and Dysphoria
Moderate: Toxic relationship, Police brutality, Death of parent, Murder, and War
Minor: Bullying, Gun violence, and Mass/school shootings
davidbythebay's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Absolutely brilliant! A lovely and devastating book that looks at a marriage from the 1980s through 2008, all with the background of Nigeria and its political turmoil.
I first heard about this back in 2017 on NPR. I bought the book right before the pandemic started in 2020. And I finally read it now in September 2022. I do not know why I waited. If the discussion on NPR and the description wasn't enough, Margaret Atwood's Twitter review ("Scorching, gripping, ultimately lovely.") Should have really pushed this book forward for me as Atwood is an all-time favorite author of mine. But somehow I kept putting this off.
First, let me say that it did take me a minute to get into the swing of things. By that I mean that sometimes Nigerian customs and phrases are used that usually have context clues or translations around where they are, but as I am fascinated by culture and language I often was paused by. Also, and more importantly, the story does have a dual POV which is never explicitly labeled at the start of a chapter. It was easy to pick up within the first paragraph or sentence who was talking, but it did throw me off a bit at first.
The dual timeline (east Part begins in 2008 before going back in time to the 1980s and 90s) was easy to discern. It was very much a few chapters in 2008 with the majority of the book being a linear story of Akin and Yejide's marriage. What they went through was devastating and I won't go into it much here, but know that if you are sensitive to some topics, be warned.
Those "gripes" being laid out now, the whole book from start to finish was a captivating journey that really did sing off the page. It was lyrical and completely immersive. I learned a lot about Nigerian customs and traditions, as well as some history. This story, though, could really have been set anywhere at anytime. It is a universal story of marriage. The setting and timeperiod, however, added a whole other layer to the work and really was absolutely beautiful. Gorgeous prose sang off the page and left haunting images.
The ending felt completely right and full. Though Part 4 is short, the book has led to this moment and you can feel it. There is a hope and a future that is shadowy and unseen, but there is a great feeling at the end that left me feeling elated by the book.
Do not hesitate like I did... read this now! I see the author has a new novel coming out early next year. My plan is to not wait on that as I did this one. A new classic to be sure and a brilliant debut novel.
I first heard about this back in 2017 on NPR. I bought the book right before the pandemic started in 2020. And I finally read it now in September 2022. I do not know why I waited. If the discussion on NPR and the description wasn't enough, Margaret Atwood's Twitter review ("Scorching, gripping, ultimately lovely.") Should have really pushed this book forward for me as Atwood is an all-time favorite author of mine. But somehow I kept putting this off.
First, let me say that it did take me a minute to get into the swing of things. By that I mean that sometimes Nigerian customs and phrases are used that usually have context clues or translations around where they are, but as I am fascinated by culture and language I often was paused by. Also, and more importantly, the story does have a dual POV which is never explicitly labeled at the start of a chapter. It was easy to pick up within the first paragraph or sentence who was talking, but it did throw me off a bit at first.
The dual timeline (east Part begins in 2008 before going back in time to the 1980s and 90s) was easy to discern. It was very much a few chapters in 2008 with the majority of the book being a linear story of Akin and Yejide's marriage. What they went through was devastating and I won't go into it much here, but know that if you are sensitive to some topics, be warned.
Those "gripes" being laid out now, the whole book from start to finish was a captivating journey that really did sing off the page. It was lyrical and completely immersive. I learned a lot about Nigerian customs and traditions, as well as some history. This story, though, could really have been set anywhere at anytime. It is a universal story of marriage. The setting and timeperiod, however, added a whole other layer to the work and really was absolutely beautiful. Gorgeous prose sang off the page and left haunting images.
The ending felt completely right and full. Though Part 4 is short, the book has led to this moment and you can feel it. There is a hope and a future that is shadowy and unseen, but there is a great feeling at the end that left me feeling elated by the book.
Do not hesitate like I did... read this now! I see the author has a new novel coming out early next year. My plan is to not wait on that as I did this one. A new classic to be sure and a brilliant debut novel.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Pregnancy
Moderate: Child death, Chronic illness, Death, Infidelity, Mental illness, Violence, Blood, Medical content, Grief, Death of parent, Murder, Gaslighting, Abandonment, and Alcohol
disquiet's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Infertility, Infidelity, Pregnancy, and Gaslighting
Moderate: Sexual content and Medical content
Minor: Death of parent
cantfindmybookmark's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Chronic illness, Infertility, Infidelity, Mental illness, Grief, and Gaslighting
maithaalfalasi's review against another edition
dark
emotional
tense
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
Content Warnings
Graphic: Infertility, Infidelity, Misogyny, Toxic relationship, Medical trauma, and Gaslighting
bandysbooks's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
This book went in way different directions than I was expecting. It is a very dark story and unbearably sad. I found myself viscerally frustrated at several points while reading.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Death, Infertility, Infidelity, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Medical content, Grief, Pregnancy, Gaslighting, and Abandonment