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fink1129's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
3.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Infertility, Infidelity, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Panic attacks/disorders, Rape, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Grief, Suicide attempt, Pregnancy, Gaslighting, and Alcohol
rubberrosebooks's review
dark
emotional
lighthearted
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Misogyny, Rape, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Grief, Pregnancy, Gaslighting, and Alcohol
cait's review
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Addiction, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Cursing, Death, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Infertility, Infidelity, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, and Dysphoria
sangsmiles's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Rape, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Miscarriage, Misogyny, Suicide attempt, and Gaslighting
meeklovestoread's review against another edition
dark
emotional
funny
lighthearted
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
I legit got teary-eyed during the first six pages of this book. The way she describes how these feelings of ending her life came about was so relatable. I've gone through depressive episodes myself and whenever I would feel like I was reaching my breaking point it felt EXACTLY how Adelaide described it. It could just be from any ordinary mundane thing, but what makes those mundane mishaps so effective is that those small mishaps are already toppling onto the preexisting trauma that a person already has. And small things add up to the point where eventually that person can't take it anymore (and you know the rest). Ughhhh! I've never read a book that describes my "depressive episodes" so accurately. I felt so seen and we were only six pages in.š¤§
I just resonated with Adelaide so much in this book. Like you don't even know. Sometimes she would say things that I've literally said in real, like, "I believe in doing something you like, she said. But not necessarily something you love." (65)
This book is just a book about Adelaide's life, what caused her downward spiral, and the factors that contributed to her mental illnesses so don't get into this thinking you're going to let a major plot because you're not. The main focus of this novel, however, is the tumultuous relationship she has with a man named Rory Hughes and his contribution to ruining her life (I am a Rory haterš).
Now normally, in a regular book, I'd loathe a character that keeps going back to someone that mistreats them, however, with Addie, I couldn't help, but relate to her. At times I wanted to scream at her to LET. HIM. GO. But sadly, I do understand what it's like to have someone who treats you well enough so you love and adore them and put up with their major flaws in hopes that things will get better. People like Adelaide with a pre-existing unpleasant relationship with love (and self-love) aren't going to be so quick to leave someone like Rory because, in comparison to all her terrible romance partners, he's the "shining star". š
I like how the author painted Rory's personality as unsettling and offputting, but not necessarily abusive because if he were abusive Adelaide would've left right away, but it's people like Rory that women also have to be wary of. It's the people like Rory that break you down gradually by doing minuscule harmful things, but not harmful enough that it constitutes leaving them. He was the embodiment of ambivalence. He would be sweet and kind to her, but also would treat her like an afterthought.He wouldn't text her for days and days on end, wouldn't commit to her after stringing her along for 10 months, and then he lackadaisically called her his girlfriend. Like she literally annotated a whole book for him, wrote him a heartfelt letter declaring her love for him, worked so hard to bake him his favorite cake, and got him very very thoughtful gifts based on the things he likes. Ughhh! HE DID NOT DESERVE HER! He did not care about her enough and it showed. She was always an afterthought to him and it broke my heart to see Adelaide try sooooo (desperately) hard to make Rory love her.š¢
That scene where Adelaide breaks down and cries after her friend got flowers from her new boyfriend or when she sobbed after one of her other friends announced her engagement stating how she felt like she would never have a happily ever after with someone like that where the love was effortless. I FELT that. And it started me seeing Addie blame herself for this.
Rory was a parasite through and through. He made her doubt herself. Doubt her worth. Doubt her purpose. Doubt her desirability all because she was trying to do the impossible and convince a man to love her when he refused to.
This book mainly encapsulates the struggle it takes to leave someone when your heart still lies with them. And just the consequences of a relationship that gradually drains your spirits and the effects it has on you. It's about realizing that you deserve better than the minimal effort that you receive. I read a review and I feel like they described this book nicely so I'm going to quote them, " This is for anyone thatās ever loved someone that was incapable of loving them - or loving them in the way they deserved - and whose come out the other side (or is still finding the courage to) for those especially but for everyone - this book is a balm to the soul and will simultaneously leave you feeling both emotional drained and buoyed at the same time in the best possible way."
I just resonated with Adelaide so much in this book. Like you don't even know. Sometimes she would say things that I've literally said in real, like, "I believe in doing something you like, she said. But not necessarily something you love." (65)
This book is just a book about Adelaide's life, what caused her downward spiral, and the factors that contributed to her mental illnesses so don't get into this thinking you're going to let a major plot because you're not. The main focus of this novel, however, is the tumultuous relationship she has with a man named Rory Hughes and his contribution to ruining her life (I am a Rory haterš).
Now normally, in a regular book, I'd loathe a character that keeps going back to someone that mistreats them, however, with Addie, I couldn't help, but relate to her. At times I wanted to scream at her to LET. HIM. GO. But sadly, I do understand what it's like to have someone who treats you well enough so you love and adore them and put up with their major flaws in hopes that things will get better. People like Adelaide with a pre-existing unpleasant relationship with love (and self-love) aren't going to be so quick to leave someone like Rory because, in comparison to all her terrible romance partners, he's the "shining star". š
I like how the author painted Rory's personality as unsettling and offputting, but not necessarily abusive because if he were abusive Adelaide would've left right away, but it's people like Rory that women also have to be wary of. It's the people like Rory that break you down gradually by doing minuscule harmful things, but not harmful enough that it constitutes leaving them. He was the embodiment of ambivalence. He would be sweet and kind to her, but also would treat her like an afterthought.
That scene where Adelaide breaks down and cries after her friend got flowers from her new boyfriend or when she sobbed after one of her other friends announced her engagement stating how she felt like she would never have a happily ever after with someone like that where the love was effortless. I FELT that. And it started me seeing Addie blame herself for this.
Rory was a parasite through and through. He made her doubt herself. Doubt her worth. Doubt her purpose. Doubt her desirability all because she was trying to do the impossible and convince a man to love her when he refused to.
This book mainly encapsulates the struggle it takes to leave someone when your heart still lies with them. And just the consequences of a relationship that gradually drains your spirits and the effects it has on you. It's about realizing that you deserve better than the minimal effort that you receive. I read a review and I feel like they described this book nicely so I'm going to quote them, " This is for anyone thatās ever loved someone that was incapable of loving them - or loving them in the way they deserved - and whose come out the other side (or is still finding the courage to) for those especially but for everyone - this book is a balm to the soul and will simultaneously leave you feeling both emotional drained and buoyed at the same time in the best possible way."
This book hit home for me and I do acknowledge that the story may not hit for everyone, but if any of these themes relate to you in any way then I for sure recommend giving this book a try!
Quotes that I liked:
- "Because if we knew, if we honestly knew that the price of love was grief, we'd never do it. We'd never succumb in the first place. And once we doāonce we fall in love, against our better judgment, with something or someoneāwe never want to let go. No matter how many dinners they miss, how many texts they ignore. None of it matters. And none of it mattered. Adelaide was never going to let go." - (151)š¤§š
- "In the face of grief 'remember that you're still allowed to feel joy'...." - (*forgot the page, sorry)
- "And she was truly excited. To have a baby. How mad." -(195)š¤£
- "Adelaide tried to do with this pain what she'd done with the rest of itābury it, deep in her bones. Undetectable, she thought. But it didn't work this time. There was too much hurt down there. Too much heartache and not enough room." - (241)š¢
- "....but Adelaide still felt like a wounded bird told to fly. She wasn't quite sure how." - (254)
- "She imagined herself as a million broken pieces scattered across the yellow duvetādivided and spread out, struggling to come together, to feel whole. How unfair she thought. That she'd helped Rory piece himself back together, and he'd never even know she fell apart." - (255)š
- "How frustrating, Adelaide thought. So many things that never should have belonged to him had become his: The scent of laundry detergent. The perfume she'd worn on their first date. The flavor of Colgate toothpaste she'd once tasted on his tongue. They were his now, wholly. And she wanted them back." - (269) (I just found this quote relatable because this is EXACTLY how I felt after my breakup; everything reminds you of themš¤§š)
Spice Rating: š¶ļø/5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Toxic relationship, Grief, and Gaslighting
Moderate: Death, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, and Suicide attempt
Minor: Cursing, Eating disorder, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Vomit, and Death of parent
hlundstedt's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Miscarriage, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, and Gaslighting
cdkm9's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
4.5
I enjoyed the writing style and appreciated the very realistic portrayal of a toxic relationship and mental illness, this book will be very relatable to a lot of people.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Toxic relationship, and Gaslighting
Moderate: Miscarriage, Rape, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, and Suicide attempt
Minor: Car accident and Death of parent
zygomatic's review against another edition
emotional
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.0
There are some promising sentences in this novel, suggestive of a better book in the future by this author. But the majority of this is so poorly written I couldn't take it anymore. I almost gave up multiple times, literally ready to close it out a final time five pages from the end. Having parentheses constantly, exclamation marks for everything, repeating the same phrases in parentheses with exclamation marks, cliche phrases and melodramatic writing, writing first and last names all the time, mentioning Disney an absurd, gross amount. I think the author believes that foreshadowing is saying exactly what's going to happen. The characters and story are so bad that I wondered if anything unexpected happens that justifies its popularity. I guess it plays into the editor scene? Lots of pop culture references, including songs? Tons of shit lib virtue signaling? I'm at a loss. This reads like a preteen's diary entries.
Adelaide spiraling over someone she doesn't know at all is so stupid and cringe to read. Also, physically bumping into people as a plot point? No.
Some stupid highlights:
"(Peed! Her! Pants!)" (page 140)
"How little she knew." (page 142)
"finally (finally!)" (page 144)
"But in a few days, the world would be ending" (page 147)
"There's another version of this story. One in which ___ lives, and the world continues turning." ( page 148)
"It wasn't meant to happen like this. Nothing was meant to happen like this." (page 165)
"Adelaide, as we know, was not afraid of Death." (page 181)
"It should be noted that Adelaide had barely slept in months, not since ___ death." (page 210)
"It was a series of unfortunate events, really, that led Adelaide to the moment. It wasn't her fault, you see, because the train was delayed. There were leaves on the track. It was the train's fault, honestly. And the leaves! (At least, this is what she'd try to tell herself. [...])" (page 234)
"Adelaide knew. Well, she didn't know. She had no idea what was coming, really." (page 237)
"Adelaide had no idea that in two days, she was going to try to kill herself." (page 241)
Adelaide spiraling over someone she doesn't know at all is so stupid and cringe to read. Also, physically bumping into people as a plot point? No.
Some stupid highlights:
"(Peed! Her! Pants!)" (page 140)
"How little she knew." (page 142)
"finally (finally!)" (page 144)
"But in a few days, the world would be ending" (page 147)
"There's another version of this story. One in which ___ lives, and the world continues turning." ( page 148)
"It wasn't meant to happen like this. Nothing was meant to happen like this." (page 165)
"Adelaide, as we know, was not afraid of Death." (page 181)
"It should be noted that Adelaide had barely slept in months, not since ___ death." (page 210)
"It was a series of unfortunate events, really, that led Adelaide to the moment. It wasn't her fault, you see, because the train was delayed. There were leaves on the track. It was the train's fault, honestly. And the leaves! (At least, this is what she'd try to tell herself. [...])" (page 234)
"Adelaide knew. Well, she didn't know. She had no idea what was coming, really." (page 237)
"Adelaide had no idea that in two days, she was going to try to kill herself." (page 241)
Content Warnings
Moderate: Addiction, Alcoholism, Chronic illness, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Vomit, Grief, Gaslighting, and Dysphoria
Minor: Bullying, Death, Infidelity, Self harm, Grief, Car accident, Death of parent, Pregnancy, and Dysphoria
kimveach's review
dark
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
I had a lot of different feelings while reading this book, though not as many as Adelaide had! At times, I wanted to shake some sense into her, but it also brought back memories of starting a career and becoming an adult in my twenties. The book's last third was the most nuanced and enjoyable to read. I appreciated Adelaide's mental health journey, though I was frustrated by how easily and inexpensively it was for Adelaide to receive help. Ultimately, I couldn't help but love her character and struggles.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Cursing, Death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Infidelity, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Panic attacks/disorders, Self harm, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Blood, Vomit, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Suicide attempt, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Pregnancy, Gaslighting, Abandonment, and Alcohol
thisisjusttheprologue_'s review
dark
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
āHow lucky she was to exist in this reality. How terrified she was of this luck running out.ā
Iāve had my eye on this book since the first time that I saw the beautiful cover, but managed to keep myself from buying it until now. And as my first read of 2024, this will be a hard book to beat. This story is raw, heavy, painful, inspiring, and uplifting all at once. Adelaideās experiences are raw and real, some of them so relatable that itās extra painful to read. Certain verbally abusive situations that were explained in this book leaped out at me as familiar. How scarily relatable this book is combined with the smart writing style will make this a book Iāll be thinking about for a long time.
Adelaide is a 26 year old American living in London and this book tells the story of her meeting a guy named Rory, falling in love with him, him never being able to commit to her (while still relying on her), and ultimately, the end of their relationship. This is not a love story, but rather the story of Adelaide as a young adult trying to navigate relationships with others and with her own mental health. Overall, this is a coming of age story of a girl in her 20ās just trying to find her way in the world who, thankfully, had some amazing friends who were there to help her when her world fell apart.
This book covers very difficult subjects including suicide, mental illness, SA, pregnancy loss, abusive relationships, and coping with death, just to name a few. It is so beautifully written, but to potential readers, please make sure you are in the right headspace before picking up this emotionally heavy story.
Iāve had my eye on this book since the first time that I saw the beautiful cover, but managed to keep myself from buying it until now. And as my first read of 2024, this will be a hard book to beat. This story is raw, heavy, painful, inspiring, and uplifting all at once. Adelaideās experiences are raw and real, some of them so relatable that itās extra painful to read. Certain verbally abusive situations that were explained in this book leaped out at me as familiar. How scarily relatable this book is combined with the smart writing style will make this a book Iāll be thinking about for a long time.
Adelaide is a 26 year old American living in London and this book tells the story of her meeting a guy named Rory, falling in love with him, him never being able to commit to her (while still relying on her), and ultimately, the end of their relationship. This is not a love story, but rather the story of Adelaide as a young adult trying to navigate relationships with others and with her own mental health. Overall, this is a coming of age story of a girl in her 20ās just trying to find her way in the world who, thankfully, had some amazing friends who were there to help her when her world fell apart.
This book covers very difficult subjects including suicide, mental illness, SA, pregnancy loss, abusive relationships, and coping with death, just to name a few. It is so beautifully written, but to potential readers, please make sure you are in the right headspace before picking up this emotionally heavy story.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Panic attacks/disorders, Rape, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Grief, Suicide attempt, Pregnancy, Gaslighting, and Alcohol