Scan barcode
oceanwader's review against another edition
5.0
Smart, witty, a delightfully fun read.
Whether you live in Canada or USA, you'll smile and chuckle with each page.
Whether you live in Canada or USA, you'll smile and chuckle with each page.
krisrid's review against another edition
5.0
This is an absolutely hilarious book! Everyone in both American AND Canada should read it it you like to laugh.
The book is a light-hearted, tongue-firmly-in-cheek offer for Canada to take on the Presidency of the United States to save America from itself. The bonus of this book is that the authors make at least as much - if not more! - fun of the stupid stuff in Canada, as they do of the U.S.
A couple of my fave passages:
"Making English the offical language for native English speakers"
Every American will be required to pas our EPL (English as a primary language) course. Sample lessons:
"Let's eat, people" - How commas can prevent a Zombie Apocalypse
"Using "Like" as an Adverb: Why People, Like, Want to Kill you when you do that
"Irregardless, Orientate, and other words that reflect on your value as a Human Being
In addition to written quizzes, all citizens will be required to pass oral exams to demonstrate a basic grasp of diction and pronunciation. For instance, when you utter the phrase: "We will use nukes to fight terrorism", the audience should not be hearing the word "tourism". It confuses the terrorists, and frightens the tourists.
We will build special reeducation facilities for people who pronounce "America" as if it has only two syllables. The United States is a proud country, with proud vowels. It doesn't need a nickname.
"Understanding Hockey, from the country that gave you Football & Basketball"
The concept of sports as a metaphor for war goes back as far as sports, metaphors and war. Early athletic competitions were little more that wars with sidelines . . .
As Canadians find actual wars costly and inconvenient, we've become purists in the realm of sports, choosing to honor our athletic forebears by conducting all our murder, rape and pillaging in controlled sixty-minute sessions on Saturday afternoons.
Because we also prize our dry sense of humor, we hold this sport on a sheet of ice, combining the grace of carefee skating with the brutality of beating your colleagues with large wooden sticks. Fights are encouraged. Helmets are worn for show. Teeth are a luxury. We call it "hockey" and it is Canada's theatre of war.
On Education
Students will also benefit from our plan to provide teachers - America's most underappreciated cat-herders - some well deserved rest. First, we will transfer Guantanamo detainees to Thule Air Base, near the arctic circle . . . we'll see how desert-born terrorists react to snowboarding instead of waterboarding.
The dentention facilities will be converted into a special holiday resort big enough to provide every teacher in the U.S. an annual vacation, where they will be pampered with sunny beaches, spa treatments, and personal valets whose main function will be to tell them they are doing a good job. The length of these vacations will be directly proportional to the difficulty of the teachers' work. Inner city teachers will get three weeks every year. The art teacher at New York's Dalton school will be allowed to press her face against the airplane window as it flies over the island.
The entire book is just as funny as these passages and if you have a sense of humour, this will be a hugely entertaining read for either Canadians or Americans. Highly recommended.
The book is a light-hearted, tongue-firmly-in-cheek offer for Canada to take on the Presidency of the United States to save America from itself. The bonus of this book is that the authors make at least as much - if not more! - fun of the stupid stuff in Canada, as they do of the U.S.
A couple of my fave passages:
"Making English the offical language for native English speakers"
Every American will be required to pas our EPL (English as a primary language) course. Sample lessons:
"Let's eat, people" - How commas can prevent a Zombie Apocalypse
"Using "Like" as an Adverb: Why People, Like, Want to Kill you when you do that
"Irregardless, Orientate, and other words that reflect on your value as a Human Being
In addition to written quizzes, all citizens will be required to pass oral exams to demonstrate a basic grasp of diction and pronunciation. For instance, when you utter the phrase: "We will use nukes to fight terrorism", the audience should not be hearing the word "tourism". It confuses the terrorists, and frightens the tourists.
We will build special reeducation facilities for people who pronounce "America" as if it has only two syllables. The United States is a proud country, with proud vowels. It doesn't need a nickname.
"Understanding Hockey, from the country that gave you Football & Basketball"
The concept of sports as a metaphor for war goes back as far as sports, metaphors and war. Early athletic competitions were little more that wars with sidelines . . .
As Canadians find actual wars costly and inconvenient, we've become purists in the realm of sports, choosing to honor our athletic forebears by conducting all our murder, rape and pillaging in controlled sixty-minute sessions on Saturday afternoons.
Because we also prize our dry sense of humor, we hold this sport on a sheet of ice, combining the grace of carefee skating with the brutality of beating your colleagues with large wooden sticks. Fights are encouraged. Helmets are worn for show. Teeth are a luxury. We call it "hockey" and it is Canada's theatre of war.
On Education
Students will also benefit from our plan to provide teachers - America's most underappreciated cat-herders - some well deserved rest. First, we will transfer Guantanamo detainees to Thule Air Base, near the arctic circle . . . we'll see how desert-born terrorists react to snowboarding instead of waterboarding.
The dentention facilities will be converted into a special holiday resort big enough to provide every teacher in the U.S. an annual vacation, where they will be pampered with sunny beaches, spa treatments, and personal valets whose main function will be to tell them they are doing a good job. The length of these vacations will be directly proportional to the difficulty of the teachers' work. Inner city teachers will get three weeks every year. The art teacher at New York's Dalton school will be allowed to press her face against the airplane window as it flies over the island.
The entire book is just as funny as these passages and if you have a sense of humour, this will be a hugely entertaining read for either Canadians or Americans. Highly recommended.
scotchneat's review
3.0
The Canada Party had a brilliant idea - with America looking for a new leader, why not elect CANADA?
Some great ideas for change in the manifesto as well - like one gay couple gets to marry for every straight couple that divorces. Or America can continue to consider corporations as people, but if it can't provide a birth certificate, it'll be considered an illegal immigrant.
At times biting, but always on the money, the manifesto was a good chuckle and a think. Probably a great way to see some differences between Canada & the US if you're from neither.
Some great ideas for change in the manifesto as well - like one gay couple gets to marry for every straight couple that divorces. Or America can continue to consider corporations as people, but if it can't provide a birth certificate, it'll be considered an illegal immigrant.
At times biting, but always on the money, the manifesto was a good chuckle and a think. Probably a great way to see some differences between Canada & the US if you're from neither.
bookishheather's review
4.0
Surely you saw the Canada Party's YouTube video! If not, go watch it now! It was released in January 2012, and little did I realize that it was actually a book trailer for the upcoming America, But Better: The Canada Party Manifesto. How exciting! The basic premise of the book is, the US is doing a poor job of governing itself so our "continental BFF" to the north is going to help us out. This book outlines a new approach to US politics provided by our Canuck cousins.
Of course, the manifesto is great. Canada has the answers to most of our social ills: environmental policy, overcrowded prisons, sex education, and more. Readers are instructed on the finer points of hockey, and an appendix featuring a glossary of Canadian terms ("The CBC found a toonie in its pocket, doubling the number of shows it can produce this year.") The Canada Party was even fortunate enough to secure a foreword by "penny aficionado" Abraham Lincoln, who laments, "I can't help wonder if I might have survived that night if my government had free health care, a more reasonable policy of gun control, a mastery of the apology, or even a national hockey program to help the North and the South settle their differences on the ice." The book features some very educational maps as a preface, including How America Sees Canada; How Canada Sees America; and the best of the three, How Mexico Sees Both of Us. Pull outs include the Canada Party's campaign promises ("Corporations will still be people, but if they can't provide a birth certificate they will be legally obligated to care for your lawn.") and Canafacts ("Canada's Radio Act forbids lying on broadcast news. Coincidentally, there are no Fox affiliates in Canada."). The book even features a few recipes, such as Soylent Seth Green!
As the book draws to a close, the tone gets a little more serious. The Canada Party reminds us of how "over time, media organizations (formerly known as 'the news') discovered there was ratings gold in giving airtime to the chronically obtuse." The writers note how comedy television shows have become some of the most trustworthy sources of information: "Imagine if our grandparents had considered Laugh-In a reliable source of information because they just couldn't trust that Cronkite fellow."
After reading their manifesto, I'm definitely tempted to vote for Canada for President. Yes We CANADA!
Of course, the manifesto is great. Canada has the answers to most of our social ills: environmental policy, overcrowded prisons, sex education, and more. Readers are instructed on the finer points of hockey, and an appendix featuring a glossary of Canadian terms ("The CBC found a toonie in its pocket, doubling the number of shows it can produce this year.") The Canada Party was even fortunate enough to secure a foreword by "penny aficionado" Abraham Lincoln, who laments, "I can't help wonder if I might have survived that night if my government had free health care, a more reasonable policy of gun control, a mastery of the apology, or even a national hockey program to help the North and the South settle their differences on the ice." The book features some very educational maps as a preface, including How America Sees Canada; How Canada Sees America; and the best of the three, How Mexico Sees Both of Us. Pull outs include the Canada Party's campaign promises ("Corporations will still be people, but if they can't provide a birth certificate they will be legally obligated to care for your lawn.") and Canafacts ("Canada's Radio Act forbids lying on broadcast news. Coincidentally, there are no Fox affiliates in Canada."). The book even features a few recipes, such as Soylent Seth Green!
As the book draws to a close, the tone gets a little more serious. The Canada Party reminds us of how "over time, media organizations (formerly known as 'the news') discovered there was ratings gold in giving airtime to the chronically obtuse." The writers note how comedy television shows have become some of the most trustworthy sources of information: "Imagine if our grandparents had considered Laugh-In a reliable source of information because they just couldn't trust that Cronkite fellow."
After reading their manifesto, I'm definitely tempted to vote for Canada for President. Yes We CANADA!
More...