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deschatjes's review against another edition
5.0
This book has been a game-changer for me in understanding so many things. I stumbled across it as a friend had been to a Gabor Mate talk in London, and I'd read many of his other books but not this one. Then a lot of people were polarised on what John Marsden has been saying about Bullying and this appeared to provide a counter-argument.
It's a very long read (listen) and some of it is repetitive, and despite this supposed to be an updated version there are still references to defunct technology like msn etc. but the underlying logic and theories seem to be spot on to what I have seen and experienced with my own children and those I teach.
There are no simplistic dynamics, but a very complicated dance of the need for attachment and recognition, changing family patterns, mobile families, digital alternatives for socialising and more. Once I finish listening to this, I'll be buying a hard copy of the book and go through it again as a post-mortem of the last 5 years of my life and a pre-mortem of how I want my relationships to be in the future.
It's a very long read (listen) and some of it is repetitive, and despite this supposed to be an updated version there are still references to defunct technology like msn etc. but the underlying logic and theories seem to be spot on to what I have seen and experienced with my own children and those I teach.
There are no simplistic dynamics, but a very complicated dance of the need for attachment and recognition, changing family patterns, mobile families, digital alternatives for socialising and more. Once I finish listening to this, I'll be buying a hard copy of the book and go through it again as a post-mortem of the last 5 years of my life and a pre-mortem of how I want my relationships to be in the future.
toris_reads's review against another edition
2.0
A thoughtful read, but definitely got repetitive quickly. Could’ve used more actionable strategies and case studies.
jjacobia's review against another edition
3.0
good book if you don't know very much about attachment theory. I have studied this before so I found it a little to simple. bottom line...be involved in your kids lives...
jennyms's review against another edition
2.0
Although I feel as though the message of this book is important, like the book itself, that is just a feeling. I have no scientific evidence to back up my feelings, and neither does Gordon Neufeld. This is a book of suppositions and instinct, but unfortunately not a lot of meat. The central message is that families have turned from a more evolutionarily-appropriate societal structure where children are raised within a small, tribal community to an evolutionarily-inappropriate structure where parents are encouraged to hand away their children to day cares, schools, sports clubs, afterschool activities, playgroups, and a myriad of other activities where children interact with each other rather than with their parents and other adults. As a result, Neufeld supposes, our children are missing out on vital societal development they would get from interacting more with older people. It isn't that I think he is entirely wrong, it is that I think his thesis is poorly developed and poorly supported. I am a proponent of attachment theory, but I want to see the evidence. I am disappointed that this book is rated so highly overall, I suspect readers give it five stars mostly because it affirms their biases.