Reviews tagging 'Panic attacks/disorders'

Hell Followed with Us by Andrew Joseph White

150 reviews

parasolcrafter's review against another edition

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dark emotional hopeful mysterious sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

this book is truly fantastic. its gory, its brutal, and it pulls no punches & softens no blows as it tells its story and this makes it the most visceral telling of queer personhood i can remember reading.

going through the story as benjis body is rotting from the inside, transforming into something he never wanted to be, never asked to be, never consented to be is such a horrific way of showcasing what its like to be trans and to not be allowed to be yourself; what forcing down the purest version of yourself does to you, how it can kill you. it was done so beautifully and so tragically and it just...illustrates it so well. the ultimate conclusion of benji becoming seraph, the end form of what he was turning into the whole story, was done so wonderfully, as well; how he gets taken over by rage and bloodlust when hes back in the cult he was raised in, how seraph awakens then as hes back to the abuse and transphobia he was raised in...it truly is poetic. he ends up the savior the Angels raised him as, only he's not their savior and he never was.

and nick...oh, i truly do love his character so much and i only wish we got into his mind more because hes such a beautifully written autistic character, which is, sadly, a rarity. hes so authentically written and represented and i felt so much of myself in him and his subtleties. his hatred of being touched, his stimming, his masking, his constant need to have it all together even when he wants to fall apart...it was so well written and i truly appreciate him so much. hes so, so special 💖

this book has so much heart and hope, and even though the story is over, i know these characters can claw into the dirt and pull themselves from the Hell theyve been plunged into. i know that they can survive and, as said near the end, maybe they can even grow up. its the least they deserve.

the small issues i have with this book - i felt the writing was a bit weak at points and i wish benjis time in the ALC was a longer portion of the book because i do feel that part was lacking; we dont get to know much of the other characters as much as i'd like - definitely dont retract from how much i enjoyed it because what the book does and the story it tells are much greater than any flaws it has. thank you Andrew Joseph White for this wonderful book 💖💖💖

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ktv's review against another edition

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dark tense fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes

4.5

Excellent world building. Love the characters from the ALC and their found family. Fuck white evangelicals and colonialism and ecoterrorism. 

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sample_text's review against another edition

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dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0


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meaghanelizabook's review against another edition

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adventurous dark emotional mysterious sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0


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amy_reading_23's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional hopeful reflective sad tense fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes

4.0

This book is a dystopian horror novel about a scared boy who is trying to figure out who he is while the world is trying to turn him into what they want him to be. 

I loved the idea of an LGBT+ youth community centre being a safe hub in the apocalypse. I would have liked maybe some more warm moments from that. But I know, as the author attests, that the book comes from rage and that is evident throughout. I thought it was interesting the sort of parallels between the idea of transitioning and Benji turning into the Seraph. The characters were also complex and not usually black and white which was well done. This is evident in Theo, who even though he has done bad things, you can still understand his way of thinking. 

I would have liked to have seen more of Benji and Nick's relationship blossom. I'm not sure if this book will be having a sequel, but that would be interesting. Its great to see books with so much trans and autistic representation. 

I think this book might resonate more with queer Americans as I know that the Church is quite different there to other places. From what I've seen from American media, this book seems pretty plausible. 

It was well written, and I read it quite fast as I kept needing to know what happened next. I'm not sure why it wasn't five stars for me. Maybe because it was so consistently bleak and horrific without much beauty. I think a few more moments of joy and hope would have made it a more enjoyable read. 


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meganh_62's review against another edition

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adventurous dark emotional mysterious tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A

5.0

This is one my favorite books now. The passion of the author is on every page and I hated ever having to put this book down.

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esme_bonner's review against another edition

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dark emotional tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

Thank you to Andrew Joseph White, Daphne Press, and NetGalley for a galley of this in exchange for an honest review.

Hell Followed With Us is an unusual book. Set against a dystopia of biblical proportions (literally), we follow Benji, a trans teenager, and unwilling vessel of the end times' end game. Having fled the Evangelical death cult he was raised in, Benji falls in with a crowd of young, queer, survivors, and ironically, given that he may now have only weeks to live, finally learns what it means to have something to live for.

Beset by the monstrous remains of zombie-esque plague victims, the cult's 'Angels' AKA death squads, and, perhaps most frighteningly of all, a plethora of cis white men, Benji forges real friendships with his rescuers. But the lure of love is strong, and he must figure out who he is willing to sacrifice, and what for. 

This book was both queerer, and more religious than I had initially been expecting. When I read the blurb for this book I expected something that was going to end up more like Charlie Higson's Enemy series - specifically the Angus Dei angle. But I ended up with something that was a little more Evangelical, which given the US setting I should have been expecting. White builds a very plausible world, his blending of religious and environmental extremism with a kind of Evangelically intense white supremacy feels like a possible future, and whilst I would have liked to know more about how the rest of the world has fared (plagues might be global, but evangelicalism is relatively US-centric), he has managed to cram a lot of detail into a relatively short book. 

For those worried about the focus on religion, particularly Christianity, particularly conservative Christianity, I, personally, don't think White's representation is 'bad,' or, like, a pointed attack. In my opinion, which is admittedly limited by neither being from the US nor of a Protestant-off-shoot persuasion, White made it very clear that the Angels were an extremist group, a cult, who had co-opted religion, but who had essentially abandoned a lot of the core tenants of the religion. This was obvious to me, as someone from a Catholic background, because the actions of the Angels are in direct opposition to a lot of very important things, e.g., Commandment not to kill. Now, again, I am not from an Evangelical background. I'm Irish Catholic, if we're getting specific, and my experience in religion is vastly different to that even of Catholics within the US, but to me this read as a commentary on the way the far-right, white supremacists, and other extremist groups pick up elements of religion and twist them. This could definitely be viewed, through that lens and given the very close relationship most conservative leaning people in the US have with Christianity, as a commentary on contemporary evangelical practice... but if you read this and thought 'you're attacking my church specifically' I think you should maybe take a step back and ask, "is my church treating others the way we would want to be treated?" If the answers no, then the call is coming from inside the house. White isn't attacking you, you are attacking others. Sit with that, and then do better.

Back to our regularly scheduled book reviewing,

I don't read a lot of horror, so I am appreciative of how the gore was handled in this book. I felt that there were some visceral moments, but for the most part the description was impressionistic, or focused on feeling. That being said, I do wish a little more time had been given to the (SPOILER) final descriptions of Seraph, I struggled to understand what exactly that might look like. My mental image was kind of dragon-y, and I think it should maybe have been more humanoid. All the same, I found the world, and the people within it, fascinating to read about.

All taken together, I really enjoyed this. There was a lot in it that gave me pause, and a lot in it I think could be polarising, but personally I found it very readable. 4 stars.

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vusvusik's review against another edition

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dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

Very interesting story, the world building was a bit confusing at the beginning but I got the hang of it, love the development of the 3 main characters 

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graycegotlostinthelibrary's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75


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pjlovesyou's review against another edition

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adventurous emotional hopeful tense fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25


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