Reviews tagging 'Suicidal thoughts'

Hell Followed with Us by Andrew Joseph White

35 reviews

emjams's review against another edition

dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Deadnaming, Forced institutionalization, Injury/Injury detail, Medical trauma, Murder, Pandemic/Epidemic, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Blood, Body horror, Chronic illness, Death, Death of parent, Dysphoria, Genocide, Gore, Grief, Gun violence, Hate crime, Kidnapping, Medical content, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Religious bigotry, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Violence, Vomit, and Child death

Moderate: Xenophobia, Self harm, Mental illness, Medical content, Abandonment, War, Torture, Suicidal thoughts, Physical abuse, Outing, Domestic abuse, and Mass/school shootings

Minor: Sexual content, Sexual violence, Animal death, and Alcohol

This book has basically every imaginable TW on it EXCEPT for sexual assault, but even that is briefly touched on. Benji has trauma from assault, but only from physical/emotional abuse, not SA.

anonymous_blobfish's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

Ok, despite my earlier claims that I wasn’t going to review this one just yet, I’m here with the review. Why the change of heart? I’m currently reading another own voices trans dystopic/apocalyptic body horror novel that I’m having polar opposite feelings about and that has really cemented my opinion of this story.

Disclaimer to start: I’m a white cis woman. I’m queer and a late comer to that part of myself. I’m a staunch atheist who has no religious trauma. I do have some of that fun mother trauma but from a different angle. This is all to say that there are much more important opinions than my own to refer to. I just want to talk about how this book made me feel and what I did or did not like about it.

Please refer to the authors review for full content warnings. This book is A Lot™️ and includes a variety of body horror, religious trauma, homophobia and transphobia, as well as gore, violence (physical and sexual), and genocide.

Hell Followed With Us is an intense, graphic, relentless story that takes place in the aftermath of a religious cult’s genocidal actions. We follow two POV characters: Benji (who we spend the majority of our time with), a trans boy struggling with his identity and place in society, and Nick, the autistic leader of a resistance group who operate out of a queer friendly community centre. 

This book was intense. I was not expecting the body horror to be as graphic as it was (despite the very clear introductory content warning by the author). I also didn’t reacquaint myself with the plot before starting (it’s been in my list for ages and the library just got an audiobook and I just jumped on in) so the storyline was unexpected and not entirely what I had remembered it being (seriously all I remembered was biblically accurate angel). I do think reading the blurb would have helped a little but the one criticism I really have about this book is that I didn’t feel like it explained the world well. This may be due to listening to the audiobook rather than reading the physical book (I may have missed things while multitasking) but I did feel a little lost for the first third of the story.

Aside from this, I think this book was exceptionally good. There was such a feeling of authenticity that comes from an own-voice author and the especially appreciated how unsanitised this story was. Benji and Nick were both incredibly flawed characters who were portrayed so lovingly: they were flawed and messy and sometimes a little too much and that doesn’t make them less worthy of love. I found the side characters to be compelling although occasionally a bit shallow (I wanted more, I’m greedy). I also found the storyline fascinating once I understood what was happening.

For anyone considering reading this book: do it. But have grace with yourself. This book will make you feel uncomfortable. Between the vomiting up of internal organs and the reflection on unintentional transphobia, it is a lot. I’m very keen to read the authors next book as I think he will only grow in skill!

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Gore, Transphobia, Homophobia, Religious bigotry, Physical abuse, Murder, Genocide, Vomit, Suicidal thoughts, Injury/Injury detail, Forced institutionalization, Death, Deadnaming, Body horror, Sexual violence, and Violence

msradiosilence's review against another edition

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Death of parent, Grief, Racism, Religious bigotry, Blood, Cursing, Deadnaming, Gore, Homophobia, Injury/Injury detail, Fire/Fire injury, Body horror, Child abuse, Transphobia, Emotional abuse, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Death, Vomit, and Child death

Moderate: Alcohol, Hate crime, Domestic abuse, Dysphoria, Gaslighting, Injury/Injury detail, Suicidal thoughts, Ableism, Confinement, Gun violence, Misogyny, and Sexual content

casperquartz's review against another edition

adventurous dark emotional tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Gore, Homophobia, Pandemic/Epidemic, Physical abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Vomit, Blood, Body horror, Genocide, Injury/Injury detail, Dysphoria, Gun violence, Cursing, Deadnaming, and Death of parent

Moderate: Sexism

Minor: Sexual content

garage's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful mysterious tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes

4.0

i was really prepared for a heart wrencher so i was a little disappointed on that front because it didn’t quite hit there for me but it was really enjoyable and even the gore wasn’t too much for someone who is typically quite squeamish. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Vomit, Suicidal thoughts, Transphobia, Religious bigotry, Gore, Toxic relationship, and Violence

pewter's review against another edition

adventurous challenging dark emotional mysterious tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

Really enjoyed both the story and how it was written. It wasn't too colloquial but still had an organic narrative rhythm and some excellent lines. But mainly the world built here is not at all unimaginable, and the themes of found family and queer joy are easy to embrace and not hammy. I think this truly does encompass many of the dissonances we queer folk encounter, from our bodies to how people see us, to struggles with religion and Heaven. Wild ride. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abandonment, Blood, Body horror, Gore, Excrement, Emotional abuse, Dysphoria, Death of parent, Vomit, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Genocide, Deadnaming, Cursing, War, Medical trauma, Death, Physical abuse, Mental illness, Transphobia, Toxic relationship, Torture, Religious bigotry, Hate crime, Self harm, Panic attacks/disorders, Murder, Kidnapping, Grief, Confinement, and Child death

kayceeisbookish's review against another edition

dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Grief, Gun violence, Vomit, Blood, Forced institutionalization, Gore, Deadnaming, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Injury/Injury detail, Murder, Pandemic/Epidemic, Religious bigotry, Fire/Fire injury, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Transphobia, Violence, Body horror, Cursing, Death, Death of parent, Dysphoria, Medical trauma, Mental illness, Genocide, Kidnapping, Mass/school shootings, and Suicidal thoughts

kai1313's review against another edition

adventurous dark mysterious sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

 The religious trauma is so well written. That sudden realization that you don’t have any faith or belief in the religion you were raised in was so heartbreakingly beautiful. The character diversity was great, but I loved the character development even more. It made me cry, not even because the ending was sad, but because I knew all the characters held a special place in my heart, and that I had grown a bond with them over the time I read the book. My first 5-star read of the year, and well deserving of the title. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Suicidal thoughts, Murder, Body horror, Child abuse, Dysphoria, Transphobia, Deadnaming, Genocide, Gore, Religious bigotry, Homophobia, Mental illness, and Abandonment

fromthefoxhole's review against another edition

adventurous dark emotional hopeful reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

WHEW what a fuckin book!!! Hell Followed With Us is a fucking triumph, and I absolutely loved it. 

We watch as Benji, our trans masc main character, escapes a Doomsday cult committed to seeing the end of days through any means necessary. He's been fighting his entire life, though, so it's no surprise the fight is what pushes him forward. 
He finds a home with ALC, a rag-tag group of queer kids who found themselves together when the world ended, and he sees himself in Nick, the autistic boy leading their battle party. He wrestles God, he wrestles the Flood, the sickness that rots away at him from the inside out, and he wrestles himself. What hope is there for absolution amongst the carnage?

I'm not kidding when I say this book is everything to me. I highlighted massive swaths of text, whole chapters even, captured by how relatable Benji is to my own history of fundamental religion being at odds with my queerness. Benji's victories became my own, his failures that much more painful. 

White's prose is relentless, interwoven with twisted scripture and teachings, filled to the brim with references and callbacks. Everything within the story is connected, joined together at odd angles and dripping with sick. It's disgusting, it's visceral, it's stunning. A perfect match to those same things within Benji. 

I'm never going to stop thinking about this book, and none of you can stop me!

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Deadnaming, Religious bigotry, Gaslighting, Injury/Injury detail, Kidnapping, Medical content, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Blood, Death of parent, Dysphoria, Eating disorder, Fire/Fire injury, Gore, Grief, Gun violence, Mental illness, Murder, Physical abuse, Torture, Violence, Transphobia, Self harm, Sexual harassment, Genocide, Pandemic/Epidemic, Death, Body horror, Vomit, and War

bingo_banjo's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional inspiring mysterious sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Body horror, Sexism, Religious bigotry, Child abuse, Transphobia, Medical trauma, Medical content, Vomit, Suicidal thoughts, Blood, Death of parent, Toxic relationship, Child death, Confinement, Deadnaming, Death, Domestic abuse, Dysphoria, Fire/Fire injury, Genocide, Gaslighting, Kidnapping, Grief, Hate crime, Homophobia, Injury/Injury detail, Mental illness, Murder, Pandemic/Epidemic, Mass/school shootings, and Gore

Moderate: Panic attacks/disorders and Sexual content