Reviews with content warning for Panic attacks/disorders - Zoek me tussen de sterren

ALL THE STARS

ALL OF THEM

AND TISSUES

Ok

Words.

So.

This was beyond amazing. I cried through the last third of it. This is not a light book, and while I found the ending happy and really enjoyed reading it and laughed and marked lines, it’s also not a lighthearted book.

Eliza has severe social anxiety and, although the book names only the anxiety, she’s also very depressed.

I have never read such good representation of anxiety and depression. I mean, I probably have because I read so much I do forget a lot of it most of the time, but this was amazing in the way it voiced things I’ve thought almost word for word. The way it creeped into my mind and everything *clicked.*

I…

I think this might have genuinely helped me when I was a teenager. Maybe not, but. But. I waited so long to get treatment for myself when I knew I needed it and pretended so hard that I was making it all up that I actually started believing my own lies until things started going too far for what I could believe. And this. Is. Everything. This is IT.

I’m not making sense and I’m on too much of a book high to even care.

I’m looking at the cover of the book right now, at the little word bubble saying “her story is a phenomenon, her life is a disaster” and like.

Disaster?

That could have been me.

Not Eliza’s life, but her feelings. Her single focus, the one thing and maybe another thing on a good day that made it possible to do everything else, and still not be able to do enough to be like a person. To be anything other than vaguely functional. Go to school. Eat. Shut down your family when they try to talk you because you can’t let them know how bad it is inside you, and or because you already have to live through it and you’re sure as hell not going to talk about it and have to live through it *again* but you NEED them to see you and talk to you because you're dying and you're trapped and you don't know what to do.

You Find something (in her case, someone) you genuinely like, convince yourself you can be like a real person, you can have fun, you can fall in love, you can talk to people. Only to have everything crashing down by something that you can’t help, but what if you did things differently? Could you have stopped it? It doesn’t matter you were barely able to live, because that’s in the past and you’re in the now.

Because you don’t choose to be so stressed you can’t breathe, or so sad you feel sick. But it’s so, so hard to believe that and this book. Got. It.

Um, warnings of depression, anxiety, panic attacks, mentioned harassment, and suicidal thoughts.

On the bright side, the fandom rep was PERFECT and the bits of Eliza’s web comic that are shown are really cool!

Content Warnings

_persephone's review against another edition

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funny inspiring fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.5

Content Warnings

tigerproofrock's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional hopeful sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25

A tender view inside the life of a painfully shy, autistic-coded, high school senior.

Content Warnings

emilysh's review against another edition

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challenging emotional sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Plot
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

Overall I enjoyed this cute story of friendship, growth, love, and mental illness. I really liked the story and the major conflict of the book. I wasn't fully satisfied with the ending however. I think it comes down to me not connecting with the love interest. The author didn't take as long as I would have prefered actually building the romance and letting us get to know Wallace, so it was hard for me to be satisfied with the ending in light of the choices he made during the conflict.

Update: turns out I had stronger feelings than I initially thought. Wallace's life does seem fairly hard, however his view that Eliza's life is privileged and perfect because she has found success and has money is harmful. This view is totally ignoring the crippling mental health issues that hold her totally captive from a normal life or even interacting with the world. I can see how Wallace would initially react in anger and have such an unfair opinion of Eliza, but the book never goes back and addresses that view. As a reader, I'm expected to believe that Eliza and Wallace just move on with their relationship without any sort of real apology or working through that issue, and that's SO harmful. Maybe it takes place of screen, but handling something that important off screen is almost worse than not addressing it in my opinion. And don't tell me him coming to her and telling her that her life is more worthwhile than anything counts, because frantic moments like that are not where people actually work things out or acknowledge their wrong opinions.

Given the weight of this issue, I can't give the book more than three stars.

Content Warnings

calamitywindpetal's review against another edition

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funny hopeful medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

Content Warnings

joppiereading's review against another edition

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emotional lighthearted relaxing medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Plot
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25

It is a fun book that took me back to my teenage years and manages to capture the feelings of teenage fandoms without becoming cringy - which is quite impressive! There’s some nice elements of mystery that are tied in well with the other elements of the plot. I didn’t connect with the characters (particularly Eliza and Wallace) as much, though, which made the inner monologue unnecessarily moody. I was a moody, online teenager myself and Eliza’s portrayal was too over the top for me. I would have loved less of the moody, inevitable buildup and more of the final period of the book - what happens in the next Summer?

P.S. Were readers supposed to root for Wallace and Eliza after his anger and inability to understand her block? Because that turned their relationship rather unhealthy to me.

Content Warnings

goldenslug's review against another edition

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emotional medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

Content Warnings

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