heshotmedown's review against another edition
4.0
I first read this book when I was about 12 years old and I was astonished. This was the first book that familiarised me with how women live in Yemen and with the issue of sold brides. Until the moment I read it, I had believed that this customs and behaviors had been eliminated long ago.
I was honestly terrified with the things I learned. This book is an autobiography by a British woman who actually experienced being sold into marriage, adapting to a completely alien way of life, with no running water, dung-plastered walls, frequent beatings, and the ordeal of childbirth on bare floors with only old women in attendance and managed to escape in order to tell the story.Sadly, as she states, her sister still lives in this eastern hell, without many chances to escape it.
I believe that this was one of these books that awoke my feministic side and thinking and also made me feel so angry towards men who think they OWN women and therefor are able to decide for their lives and benefit from it.
Also, this book made me interested in Islam and its practises and the way religions - not exclusively Islam- can be extremely discriminating towards some groups.
I was honestly terrified with the things I learned. This book is an autobiography by a British woman who actually experienced being sold into marriage, adapting to a completely alien way of life, with no running water, dung-plastered walls, frequent beatings, and the ordeal of childbirth on bare floors with only old women in attendance and managed to escape in order to tell the story.Sadly, as she states, her sister still lives in this eastern hell, without many chances to escape it.
I believe that this was one of these books that awoke my feministic side and thinking and also made me feel so angry towards men who think they OWN women and therefor are able to decide for their lives and benefit from it.
Also, this book made me interested in Islam and its practises and the way religions - not exclusively Islam- can be extremely discriminating towards some groups.
shahrun's review against another edition
4.0
This book had an impact on my life long before I ever got a copy and read it. I can clearly remember my mum being traumatised by reading this when it first came out. It just so happened to be around the time my dad was thinking about sending me to Iran, to meet his family and learn his language. Absolutely no chance of that ever happening after mum read this. And having read this now, I can't blame her really.
It's absolutely shocking reading how a father sold his daughters off as wives - to his friends sons in the Yemen - when they were only (underage) teenagers and totally unaware of their fate. The sisters thought they were going on the holiday of a life time to visit their father's country and meet their family. Even more shocking in my eyes was that their mum went along with the holiday plan for her daughters - especially after he took their eldest two children over under the same pretence and didn't bring them back! Why would you allow two more to go?
The sisters grew up in Birmingham and fairly westernised, They didn't even speak Arabic. So can't even begin to the true horror of what they went through. Aside from the horrendous marriage experience, there was total culture shock and the language barrier. I think although Zana tried to explain it as best as she could, the book felt detached and emotionless. I felt more was lest unsaid, than what was actually said. Words are one thing, reality is another. It must have been extremely traumatic to try and relive it all so write this book and spread awareness of this crime. She does raise the point that the girls raised in the Yemen didn't have a problem with living that way, as that's all they knew.
I found it was so frustrating reading how the efforts to free them were constantly blocked on all sides (not even any help from the British embassy and government!) Women there just have no rights at all! I can't imagine what that must be like to actually live through. I was really surprised that their mother was eventually able to track them down and visit them there.
Throughout it all I was missing her mum. She only appears in the book as a background figure until well after the sisters are trapped (by law) in the Yemen. Then she springs into action. There is mention ay the end of the book of a companion book, giving the mothers side. I have obtained a copy and really look forward to finding out about her life and the story from her perspective.
It's absolutely shocking reading how a father sold his daughters off as wives - to his friends sons in the Yemen - when they were only (underage) teenagers and totally unaware of their fate. The sisters thought they were going on the holiday of a life time to visit their father's country and meet their family. Even more shocking in my eyes was that their mum went along with the holiday plan for her daughters - especially after he took their eldest two children over under the same pretence and didn't bring them back! Why would you allow two more to go?
The sisters grew up in Birmingham and fairly westernised, They didn't even speak Arabic. So can't even begin to the true horror of what they went through. Aside from the horrendous marriage experience, there was total culture shock and the language barrier. I think although Zana tried to explain it as best as she could, the book felt detached and emotionless. I felt more was lest unsaid, than what was actually said. Words are one thing, reality is another. It must have been extremely traumatic to try and relive it all so write this book and spread awareness of this crime. She does raise the point that the girls raised in the Yemen didn't have a problem with living that way, as that's all they knew.
I found it was so frustrating reading how the efforts to free them were constantly blocked on all sides (not even any help from the British embassy and government!) Women there just have no rights at all! I can't imagine what that must be like to actually live through. I was really surprised that their mother was eventually able to track them down and visit them there.
Throughout it all I was missing her mum. She only appears in the book as a background figure until well after the sisters are trapped (by law) in the Yemen. Then she springs into action. There is mention ay the end of the book of a companion book, giving the mothers side. I have obtained a copy and really look forward to finding out about her life and the story from her perspective.
shahrun's review against another edition
4.0
This book summarised the story begun in Sold (by these authors) & Without Mercy (Sold's companion book, written by Zana's Mother), then brings everything up to date (as of 2000). Having very recently read the two previous books, I was disappointed by the large amount of recapping. But considering the time gaps when the books were originally published, I see it was necessary.
I felt Zana was missing from Sold. However, in this one it feels like time has done some healing a was able to be more open, which filled the pages of this book with her. She is very candid and honest about her life, which must have been very hard. It made for much more interesting reading. She answered many of the questions which sprang to mind whilst reading the previous books.
She also brings up some very valid points about why her and Nadia were not helped immediately. And why all their attempts to get anywhere are constantly thwarted. It really feels like a conspiracy against them. Makes me wonder what's going on that we don't know about.
The heart breaking thing for me in all of this was Nadia. She was no closer to being free by the end of the book. I've been doing some digging online, which has generated mixed messages. Some sources say she was free, and others dispute it. What did surprise me was the lack of any real information at all. No website to generate support or share updates. Nothing from the family. Zana and her mother both said they would never stop until Nadia is free... so does the current silence mean she is? It would just be nice know their years and years of dedication to the cause finally paid off.
Something else that has puzzled me is there is no trace at all of the charity her mother mentions starting in Without Mercy (of which there is no mention at all in this book - surprising, as it seemed a bit of a feature Without Mercy).
I felt Zana was missing from Sold. However, in this one it feels like time has done some healing a was able to be more open, which filled the pages of this book with her. She is very candid and honest about her life, which must have been very hard. It made for much more interesting reading. She answered many of the questions which sprang to mind whilst reading the previous books.
She also brings up some very valid points about why her and Nadia were not helped immediately. And why all their attempts to get anywhere are constantly thwarted. It really feels like a conspiracy against them. Makes me wonder what's going on that we don't know about.
The heart breaking thing for me in all of this was Nadia. She was no closer to being free by the end of the book. I've been doing some digging online, which has generated mixed messages. Some sources say she was free, and others dispute it. What did surprise me was the lack of any real information at all. No website to generate support or share updates. Nothing from the family. Zana and her mother both said they would never stop until Nadia is free... so does the current silence mean she is? It would just be nice know their years and years of dedication to the cause finally paid off.
Something else that has puzzled me is there is no trace at all of the charity her mother mentions starting in Without Mercy (of which there is no mention at all in this book - surprising, as it seemed a bit of a feature Without Mercy).
pema66's review against another edition
3.0
A very interesting account of a strong willed young womans fight to retain her identity and escape the life of drudgery and patriarchal culture which her own father sold her into. I found it fascinating how quickly a person , when subsumed by one culture, can forget the other, as her sister Nadia and brother Ahmed did, and her insights into the tyrannical nature of the men within that culture afforded some glimpse into how such subjagation of women endures.
The book reinforced my opinions on many aspects of a certain culture, and made me determined that i would always fight for the rights of the women in that culture whichever country they are in, including this one.
However, a great deal of Zanas story is backed up by evidence, but i was aware throughout the book that it was very much her interpretation of events, i wondered at some points, if, had she had a good husband and mother in law, as her sister did, would she have settled, as her sister claims to have done?
I was also shocked at how easily she left her son, and how little she has mentioned him since.Her life since her return has hardly been a grateful exemplerary one.
I was also struck by the casual way the people of these remote mountain regions in Yemen (did we colonise there?!) come back and forth to the UK for free medical treatment, and how it is seen as a place for free handouts. There is so much hard work done (particularly by the women of course) in the countrys of origin, but only a concept of sitting around leeching off British tax payers when they are here.
The most shocking aspect of the story was how little the FO were willing or able to do. I am sickened that i live in a world where it is still possible to say "there is nothing we can do, she now has dual nationality, and as she is married to a Yemeni husband, she NEEDS HIS PERMISSION to leave the country" and that this is accepted and sanctioned by the rest of the world, thus turning the bullying slavery that the males impose on their women into a national stance.
I admire Zana greatly overall for her indomitable spirit and determination, she could have been a great figurehead for womens rights and cultural change, it is a shame she did not chose that path.
The book reinforced my opinions on many aspects of a certain culture, and made me determined that i would always fight for the rights of the women in that culture whichever country they are in, including this one.
However, a great deal of Zanas story is backed up by evidence, but i was aware throughout the book that it was very much her interpretation of events, i wondered at some points, if, had she had a good husband and mother in law, as her sister did, would she have settled, as her sister claims to have done?
I was also shocked at how easily she left her son, and how little she has mentioned him since.Her life since her return has hardly been a grateful exemplerary one.
I was also struck by the casual way the people of these remote mountain regions in Yemen (did we colonise there?!) come back and forth to the UK for free medical treatment, and how it is seen as a place for free handouts. There is so much hard work done (particularly by the women of course) in the countrys of origin, but only a concept of sitting around leeching off British tax payers when they are here.
The most shocking aspect of the story was how little the FO were willing or able to do. I am sickened that i live in a world where it is still possible to say "there is nothing we can do, she now has dual nationality, and as she is married to a Yemeni husband, she NEEDS HIS PERMISSION to leave the country" and that this is accepted and sanctioned by the rest of the world, thus turning the bullying slavery that the males impose on their women into a national stance.
I admire Zana greatly overall for her indomitable spirit and determination, she could have been a great figurehead for womens rights and cultural change, it is a shame she did not chose that path.
dorod59's review against another edition
4.0
Bouleversant et captivant à la fois.
Cela s'est passé il y a tant d'années et à la fois on se dit qu'il y a tant de pays où ce genre de mariage forcé arrive encore. Très intéressant comme lecture.
Cela s'est passé il y a tant d'années et à la fois on se dit qu'il y a tant de pays où ce genre de mariage forcé arrive encore. Très intéressant comme lecture.
x3karoli's review against another edition
dark
sad
fast-paced
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Torture, Domestic abuse, Kidnapping, Pregnancy, Sexism, and Slavery