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genderqueer_hiker's review
3.0
tl;dr
I'd highly recommend the sections about personally dealing with narcissists (as that's what her training is in), but skip over her personal rants about cultural narcissism (in which she has no expertise).
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I enjoyed reading many sections of this book. The author seems knowledgeable and approachable in regards to identifying narcissists in daily life, elements generally present in narcissists' childhoods, and practical ways to deal with them. However, I did not appreciate her perspectives on current culture. She makes broad, inaccurate statements about how our culture creates narcissists - honestly, it ended up sounding like a Baby Boomer whining about the evils of millennials and how 'selfies are ruining the world.' It was grating and didn't fit within the scope of the book. And a personal pet peeve of mine - she would present research and make statements about how the research clearly highlighted her point, when she conveniently ignored a metric ton of confounding factors and jumped to conclusions the research didn't actually indicate.
I'd highly recommend the sections about personally dealing with narcissists (as that's what her training is in), but skip over her personal rants about cultural narcissism (in which she has no expertise).
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I enjoyed reading many sections of this book. The author seems knowledgeable and approachable in regards to identifying narcissists in daily life, elements generally present in narcissists' childhoods, and practical ways to deal with them. However, I did not appreciate her perspectives on current culture. She makes broad, inaccurate statements about how our culture creates narcissists - honestly, it ended up sounding like a Baby Boomer whining about the evils of millennials and how 'selfies are ruining the world.' It was grating and didn't fit within the scope of the book. And a personal pet peeve of mine - she would present research and make statements about how the research clearly highlighted her point, when she conveniently ignored a metric ton of confounding factors and jumped to conclusions the research didn't actually indicate.
ropey's review
informative
This book offers a well-cited and digestible insight into Narcissism and how to identify its symptoms around and within us. It is good for those looking to be informed about this topic without being overwhelmed by medical jargon. Although nothing beats professional help (and this book does not claim to be its alternative), it provides ample guidance on how to proceed should we find ourselves around a narcissistic environment or identify narcissistic qualities within ourselves.
servemethesky's review
4.0
This was a super interesting and insightful read! Hotchkiss breaks down narcissism in very digestible, easy-to-understand terms. Narcissism is much more complex than what we typically think of- it's not just being an obnoxious egomaniac. There's manipulation involved, envy, a bypassing of shame, and so many other traits. This is a great read for anyone who's dealt with a narcissist in their life. It also looks at early childhood development to see why narcissists become narcissists, which I found fascinating. I'd definitely recommend this book!
One downside is that it was published in 2002 and now feels pretty dated. I also felt like some of the chapters were so short that they made things overly simplistic. There were also some topics I wish she'd dived deeper on. Oh well, still a great resource!
One downside is that it was published in 2002 and now feels pretty dated. I also felt like some of the chapters were so short that they made things overly simplistic. There were also some topics I wish she'd dived deeper on. Oh well, still a great resource!
krishnalover_nb's review
5.0
Liked the book. Now I have started making the blunder of looking at everyone through the lens of narcissist or not.
nedjem's review
4.0
I read this book in Finnish, but I did not find that version here, so I put it as the original. I liked it. Even though I do not agree with everything that was stated, the book made me think and I found it helpful - even though I do not have any "real" narcissists in my life, there is those that are in some ways "hard to get along with" and this book gives some excellent pointers how to better get along with "difficult" people.
lovelybookshelf's review
medium-paced
1.0
Meh. There was some good info, especially at the beginning. But the examples focused too much on overt narcissism, instead a balance between overt and covert. A lot of it seemed to blame parents - especially mothers - for creating narcissists. Then it went off the rails with "kids today" and "society today" analyses that felt an entire generation off, and grossly oversimplified matters. She equates narcissism with the people who sued the big tobacco companies, because they "knew the risks" and needed "a bad guy to blame." When the whole point was, no, they did not. They were lied to. 🙄 Then there was some gross shaming people who get cosmetic surgeries, assuming it's mostly due to narcissism. The book just got worse and worse and had major boomer vibes.
arlenemccann's review
5.0
I think this book is incredibly insightful, and really puts things into perspective. However, I wouldn't suggest reading this unless you're willing to look more deeply into yourself, and maybe see things in yourself and others that you may not love.
haramis's review
3.0
I have a dear friend who is currently struggling with ending a narcissistic marriage. I picked this up with the idea of providing support to her and her teenage daughter, who have been hurt by years of up close and personal narcissistic damage. It was an interesting experience, but it seems many of the examples were really too broad, rather giving the idea that you have to walk the thinnest of lines to avoid creating little narcissistic demon children. Too much attention, too little, too much shame, too, little, etc.. Oh, and the optimal period is in the 2-3, so if your daughter, like mine is, 8, well, damage done, ya'll.
It was an interesting book, but I feel like it was only one take on a complex subject, and I'm looking forward to reading some of the other ones I have.
It was an interesting book, but I feel like it was only one take on a complex subject, and I'm looking forward to reading some of the other ones I have.