lbarnhill3's review against another edition
3.0
This book… oh dear lord this book was just awful!! The attempt was appreciated, but the storyline and the writing were just not meshing for me.
Having a story about enduring childhood abuse is intense and meaningful. The way the author wrote it was just terrible. So much gratuitous misogyny. Like we get it, Martin is an asshole who has his daughter convinced that she’s worthless and all women are too. The guns… do they have every gun ever manufactured?! I know more about the guns in the story than I do about anything else. How is NO ONE calling Social Services on this family? From what we hear about Turtle in school, why has no teacher ever called social services? They bring up her needing to see a counselor, but not have social services involved? Why didn't Jacob or Brett’s families call social services? As a former school nurse who has called social services more times than I can count, this was outright frustrating and enraging how many people failed her.
The characters… I just… Turtle is fairly complex. Martin is narcissistic & sadistic. Grandpa is just clueless. Brett & Jacob are obviously intelligent young men but HOLY COW!! Obnoxious bouncing from gym bro talk to nerd talk to philosophy?! Poor little Cayenne… she felt well written.
This book. I just don’t know. It was painful to get through.
Having a story about enduring childhood abuse is intense and meaningful. The way the author wrote it was just terrible. So much gratuitous misogyny. Like we get it, Martin is an asshole who has his daughter convinced that she’s worthless and all women are too. The guns… do they have every gun ever manufactured?! I know more about the guns in the story than I do about anything else. How is NO ONE calling Social Services on this family? From what we hear about Turtle in school, why has no teacher ever called social services? They bring up her needing to see a counselor, but not have social services involved? Why didn't Jacob or Brett’s families call social services? As a former school nurse who has called social services more times than I can count, this was outright frustrating and enraging how many people failed her.
The characters… I just… Turtle is fairly complex. Martin is narcissistic & sadistic. Grandpa is just clueless. Brett & Jacob are obviously intelligent young men but HOLY COW!! Obnoxious bouncing from gym bro talk to nerd talk to philosophy?! Poor little Cayenne… she felt well written.
This book. I just don’t know. It was painful to get through.
rell_jo's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
miszmuis's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
threesixtyrhi's review against another edition
3.0
14 year old Turtle lives an unconventional life with her father on the California coast. Her father is abusive and violent, but a survivalist who has taught Turtle to live off the land. She navigates school, friendship, and her first crush while keeping secret the realities of her home life.
+ First off, Turtle is a wonderful character. She is strong and smart, brave, and a fighter. She's just such a badass! It was really great seeing her transformation towards the end as well, in becoming more empathetic towards others and finally gathering up the courage to face her father. Also, the way the author describes the scenery and landscape where Turtle lives is just beautiful. There is a lot of writing about wildlife and specific plants, which does a good job of setting the story.
- Turtle's crush, Jacob, was a more minor character than I was anticipating based on the jacket description. There wasn't a whole lot of details about the progression of their relationship, other than Turtle realizing she has a crush on him. And then she pushes him away for half the book? I also felt like the book ended a bit abruptly, or maybe I wasn't getting the full closure I was hoping for. I kept expecting it to wrap back around to Jacob, but it never really did.
+ First off, Turtle is a wonderful character. She is strong and smart, brave, and a fighter. She's just such a badass! It was really great seeing her transformation towards the end as well, in becoming more empathetic towards others and finally gathering up the courage to face her father. Also, the way the author describes the scenery and landscape where Turtle lives is just beautiful. There is a lot of writing about wildlife and specific plants, which does a good job of setting the story.
- Turtle's crush, Jacob, was a more minor character than I was anticipating based on the jacket description. There wasn't a whole lot of details about the progression of their relationship, other than Turtle realizing she has a crush on him. And then she pushes him away for half the book? I also felt like the book ended a bit abruptly, or maybe I wasn't getting the full closure I was hoping for. I kept expecting it to wrap back around to Jacob, but it never really did.
jeeebes's review against another edition
dark
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
i am begging men to stop writing abused women/children stories. it comes off so grossly.
the rape scenes were so vile. to the point of being gratuitous.
the rape scenes were so vile. to the point of being gratuitous.
baxteria23's review against another edition
dark
emotional
mysterious
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
ktxx22's review against another edition
3.0
This book is HEAVY. Probably one of the hardest books I’ve ever read subject matter wise, and I’m not entirely sure that it had a purpose other than to disgust me. The writing in this book is gorgeous. Tallent really has a way with words and I enjoyed quite a few of the characters. Turtle despite her unlikeability had me rooting for her by the end. This book is atmospheric and highly descriptive. For me this book is unnecessary. I found the abuse, violence, and language to be just for the sake of the story, but as far as walking away from a book feeling educated or like I gained something I’m going to unfortunately say that was a big NO.
Writing of this book is a win but overall this book is disgusting and unnecessary. 3/5 from me because of the writing but unless you are game for consistent abuse, and violence. I’d pass on this. I cannot recommend this book on good faith.
Writing of this book is a win but overall this book is disgusting and unnecessary. 3/5 from me because of the writing but unless you are game for consistent abuse, and violence. I’d pass on this. I cannot recommend this book on good faith.
wanderaven's review against another edition
4.0
My interest in this debut stemmed from strong early reviews from trusted book people and also from the first comparison I heard to A Little Life. Though I intended to start it the day it came out and did shortly thereafter it took me literally months to get past the first third or so before I finally finished it in one quick swoop. This was in part because of other things but also in large part because for the last few weeks I've been recovering from some surgery and just didn't need that kind of additional darkness.
Because this is dark. In many ways it is incredibly well written and I recommend it. It is, however, not quite on par, for me, with A Little Life. It's doubtful anything ever will be, but with A Little Life, I ended the book with a book hangover and a long lasting respect for and strong memories of many of the characters.
That isn't so much the case here. The characters are quite fascinating and the protagonist, Julia (or Turtle as the case may be), is finely well drawn with internal monologues and responses to the world that (mostly) rang true to me as a likely result of the incredibly damaging abuse she endures. However, with Life, the protagonist, Jude, is living a life primarily after the abuse, not during it, like Julia. One would think that this out-of-the-inciting-action storytelling would be less static but instead it places the focus on what's really important - Jude himself, his long-term response to the horrific events in his life, and, most importantly as it affects the reader for long after the story is done, the people in Jude's life that do everything they can to help him.
I try not to spend too much time comparing two books but the parallels here are interesting. And I'll stop with that now, in any case, for fear of dissuading a reader who feels they can withstand such a brutal story. The telling of Julia's story may be different but it doesn't mean she lacks people in her life other than the abuser (or that those people aren't catalysts). And in Julia's story, most of the time what impressed me the most was how Tallent portrays a victim of abuse and the way that abuse affects her actions in the world. It's all about the understanding that the environment that we grow up in is all we know - that's our reality and the only way the world exists. Julia's a misogynist because she has not only ever been told that girls and women are good for only one thing, but that is also the only way she's ever been treated. She talks to herself with the same hatred and disgust as she does all the other females around her. Not only does Tallent illustrate the thinking and actions of a child deeply and irreparably abused but he uncomfortably and finely exposes unfortunately often-true secrets about how such abuse can train our bodies to respond to that abuse in ways that just further damages a person with shame and guilt and confusion. There was one particular detail about Julia's response to the abuse (which is likely not the one that many reviewers might be inclined to criticize) that rang false to me, but it's maybe to spoiler-y and probably difficult to explain if one hasn't read the whole narrative.
Honestly, there were a couple of things about the writing itself that were off-putting to me, and those things were repeated throughout the narrative in a way that I just wanted to say, Stop doing that! but they were fairly negligible as to be not worth detailing. On the whole, the writing is lush and knowing and well done. If you read A Little Life, you can certainly withstand this, but don't approach it as of the same sort of world. It's it's own achievement and stand up well.
Because this is dark. In many ways it is incredibly well written and I recommend it. It is, however, not quite on par, for me, with A Little Life. It's doubtful anything ever will be, but with A Little Life, I ended the book with a book hangover and a long lasting respect for and strong memories of many of the characters.
That isn't so much the case here. The characters are quite fascinating and the protagonist, Julia (or Turtle as the case may be), is finely well drawn with internal monologues and responses to the world that (mostly) rang true to me as a likely result of the incredibly damaging abuse she endures. However, with Life, the protagonist, Jude, is living a life primarily after the abuse, not during it, like Julia. One would think that this out-of-the-inciting-action storytelling would be less static but instead it places the focus on what's really important - Jude himself, his long-term response to the horrific events in his life, and, most importantly as it affects the reader for long after the story is done, the people in Jude's life that do everything they can to help him.
I try not to spend too much time comparing two books but the parallels here are interesting. And I'll stop with that now, in any case, for fear of dissuading a reader who feels they can withstand such a brutal story. The telling of Julia's story may be different but it doesn't mean she lacks people in her life other than the abuser (or that those people aren't catalysts). And in Julia's story, most of the time what impressed me the most was how Tallent portrays a victim of abuse and the way that abuse affects her actions in the world. It's all about the understanding that the environment that we grow up in is all we know - that's our reality and the only way the world exists. Julia's a misogynist because she has not only ever been told that girls and women are good for only one thing, but that is also the only way she's ever been treated. She talks to herself with the same hatred and disgust as she does all the other females around her. Not only does Tallent illustrate the thinking and actions of a child deeply and irreparably abused but he uncomfortably and finely exposes unfortunately often-true secrets about how such abuse can train our bodies to respond to that abuse in ways that just further damages a person with shame and guilt and confusion. There was one particular detail about Julia's response to the abuse (which is likely not the one that many reviewers might be inclined to criticize) that rang false to me, but it's maybe to spoiler-y and probably difficult to explain if one hasn't read the whole narrative.
Honestly, there were a couple of things about the writing itself that were off-putting to me, and those things were repeated throughout the narrative in a way that I just wanted to say, Stop doing that! but they were fairly negligible as to be not worth detailing. On the whole, the writing is lush and knowing and well done. If you read A Little Life, you can certainly withstand this, but don't approach it as of the same sort of world. It's it's own achievement and stand up well.
emreadswithtea's review against another edition
1.0
Most horrifying book I’ve read in ages. Even the title is foul, knowing what the story is about. The book is filled with gratuitous child abuse. I am filled with regret.
books_plants_hikes's review against another edition
Here is the ugly truth about My Absolute Darling, I didn't enjoy reading it. I actually hated it. I messaged my friend and said I wanted to burn the book. It brought up a slew of emotions for me; in part because I'm human and in part because I have a history that involves trauma. I think we should be sensitive to that, if your story has physical, emotional, sexual abuse in it, choose this book with caution because it's going to impact you harder than someone who doesn't have that in their story.
That being said...
We need books like this. They aren't suppose to feel good to read. But if we are ever, to be able to understand each other's suffering better, we must read books like this. I want to read books that change how I see the world, change how I interact with, impact, and love others. I can't embrace change without leaving my comfort zone, without getting out of that feel good place, and neither can you.
This isn't a feel good book.
I've read several reviews that tear the author down for his descriptions of the abuse and the dialogue that Turtle has in her mind, largely of self hate. I hated reading those parts, because I'm human. Because someone who I loved made me talk to myself in that same way.
But here's the deal, we need to read that. We need to understand how abuse like this breaks a human, how it changes them, how it literally takes them apart and puts them back together differently, how it makes them hate themselves.
If you haven't ever lived through that type of trauma, you really cannot understand. You can't understand what it's like to betray yourself in order to survive and hate yourself for it. This book, in my opinion no matter how difficult it is to read helps the readers to understand what that is like.
I hope you wanted to rescue Turtle the whole time. I hope you pay attention to Jacob and Anna's behavior, it gave Turtle strength. We need more Jacobs and more Annas in the world. There are many, many Jacobs and Annas in my world. Thank you to those angels.
Here's a few of my favorite quotes from the book:
(If you're going to read the book, you might stop here. But I don't think there are any spoilers.)
"She thinks, maybe it was you all along Maybe there is something in you. Something rotten. You asked for it, or you wanted it. Of course you did. You brought him into his when you were just a child..."(pg, 292)
"Turtle thinks, pull the trigger. She can imagine no other way forward. She thinks, pull the trigger. But if you do not pull the trigger, walk back up that creek and in through the door and take possession of your mind, because your inaction is killing you. She sits looking out at the beach and she thinks, I want to survive this." (pg. 338)
"Then she thinks, but if I go back up the stairs, there will be a whole tract of myself I will have to keep half lit by remembering, and I will never come to peace with it, but if I go in there now and I do just the best that I can, that is a story I can tell myself, however it ends. More than anything, more than life itself, she wants Jacob back, she wants her dignity back. She thinks, okay, you cunt, put your brain in your lunch box and go to work. She thinks, if you're going to do this, you have to do it exactly right." (pg. 358)
"Way up above her, the tips of the redwoods swung in the breeze and they were a delicate green and Turtle was alive. Preposterously alive, for all the mistakes she had made." (pg. 399)
"The truth is that things do not work out, that there are no solutions, and you can go a year, a whole year, and be no better, no more healed, maybe even worse, be so skittish that if you're walking down the street with Anna, and if someone opens a car door and gets out and slams the door you turn around, honest-to-god ready to kill them, turn around so fast that Anna, who knows what is happening, cannot even open her mouth in time and you're standing there, crying, and there's some guy in a leather jacket and a fedora getting out of his Volkswagen Rabbit starting at you like, is this girl all right? and you want to be like, this girl is not all right, this girl will never be all right." (pg 411)
That being said...
We need books like this. They aren't suppose to feel good to read. But if we are ever, to be able to understand each other's suffering better, we must read books like this. I want to read books that change how I see the world, change how I interact with, impact, and love others. I can't embrace change without leaving my comfort zone, without getting out of that feel good place, and neither can you.
This isn't a feel good book.
I've read several reviews that tear the author down for his descriptions of the abuse and the dialogue that Turtle has in her mind, largely of self hate. I hated reading those parts, because I'm human. Because someone who I loved made me talk to myself in that same way.
But here's the deal, we need to read that. We need to understand how abuse like this breaks a human, how it changes them, how it literally takes them apart and puts them back together differently, how it makes them hate themselves.
If you haven't ever lived through that type of trauma, you really cannot understand. You can't understand what it's like to betray yourself in order to survive and hate yourself for it. This book, in my opinion no matter how difficult it is to read helps the readers to understand what that is like.
I hope you wanted to rescue Turtle the whole time. I hope you pay attention to Jacob and Anna's behavior, it gave Turtle strength. We need more Jacobs and more Annas in the world. There are many, many Jacobs and Annas in my world. Thank you to those angels.
Here's a few of my favorite quotes from the book:
(If you're going to read the book, you might stop here. But I don't think there are any spoilers.)
"She thinks, maybe it was you all along Maybe there is something in you. Something rotten. You asked for it, or you wanted it. Of course you did. You brought him into his when you were just a child..."(pg, 292)
"Turtle thinks, pull the trigger. She can imagine no other way forward. She thinks, pull the trigger. But if you do not pull the trigger, walk back up that creek and in through the door and take possession of your mind, because your inaction is killing you. She sits looking out at the beach and she thinks, I want to survive this." (pg. 338)
"Then she thinks, but if I go back up the stairs, there will be a whole tract of myself I will have to keep half lit by remembering, and I will never come to peace with it, but if I go in there now and I do just the best that I can, that is a story I can tell myself, however it ends. More than anything, more than life itself, she wants Jacob back, she wants her dignity back. She thinks, okay, you cunt, put your brain in your lunch box and go to work. She thinks, if you're going to do this, you have to do it exactly right." (pg. 358)
"Way up above her, the tips of the redwoods swung in the breeze and they were a delicate green and Turtle was alive. Preposterously alive, for all the mistakes she had made." (pg. 399)
"The truth is that things do not work out, that there are no solutions, and you can go a year, a whole year, and be no better, no more healed, maybe even worse, be so skittish that if you're walking down the street with Anna, and if someone opens a car door and gets out and slams the door you turn around, honest-to-god ready to kill them, turn around so fast that Anna, who knows what is happening, cannot even open her mouth in time and you're standing there, crying, and there's some guy in a leather jacket and a fedora getting out of his Volkswagen Rabbit starting at you like, is this girl all right? and you want to be like, this girl is not all right, this girl will never be all right." (pg 411)