Reviews with content warning for Abortion - Crying in H Mart

Apparently I am on a memoir kick where grief is a massive theme. I read Crying in H Mart after seeing and hearing so many positive reviews, and I’m glad I did.

It’s about Michelle’s relationship to her mother and what happens when her mother gets sick, but it’s also about her relationship to herself/her cultural identity through food. She asks herself whether she can claim being Korean without her mother validating her existence, and making sense of her existence as a mixed child. She explores this relationship with her food, conjuring up memories of her mother within those recipes and snacks.

This memoir very much read as though someone was writing it for themselves. There are times when the characters aren’t at all likable. As some of the other reviews mentioned, the relationship comes across as sometimes abusive—but saying that, I think the relationship Michelle paints with her mother is very much her own, and she never describes it as being such (she might in the future, but right now she doesn’t). The book was good in that it felt very real. Michelle is not a gracious caregiver—she put so much on wanting her mother to see all the ways she she could adult. Very rarely are caregivers full of the grace the general society demands of them—they’re human and have a range of emotions from resentment to love to adoration to scorn, often in the same moments. Michelle captures this well.

Her relationship with her father is touched upon, and I can see her disappointment. Where she wanted someone to lean on, he was taking up all the space and grief, making decisions that would impact a child in a negative way, no matter the amount of financial support he may have given her in the end.

There were parts that felt mundane, as life sometimes is, but it still struck a cord with me.

Content Warnings

pseudolain's review

Go to review page

challenging emotional informative inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

5.0

Content Warnings

kazino's review against another edition

Go to review page

emotional reflective sad medium-paced

5.0

I finished this book on a flight back from Seoul, South Korea. It was the first time I had ever visited the country my family is from, and it was the perfect thing to wrap it all up.

Crying in H Mart is a raw, unflinching memoir that tackles themes of identity, grief, and family. Though my experiences don't mirror Zauner's exactly, she puts into words many of the emotions I have grappled with as a "gyopo" or foreign-born Korean. Like Zauner, food was the strongest connection to my culture throughout my childhood. I didn't grow up speaking my mother('s) tongue and felt both too American to fit in with my Korean family and too Korean to fit in with my American peers. Elements of Zauner's relationship with her mother echoed my own as well. My mother and I frequently found ourselves at odds, especially during middle school. After facing an incident that nearly cost my mother her life, we managed to repair and improve our relationship. I am lucky to still have her by my side today.

Never have I felt more seen by a book. Never has a book resonated with me this much.

Content Warnings

bookshelves_by_kezia's review against another edition

Go to review page

emotional reflective sad

I didn’t realize how sad this book would be before I picked it up. It feels weird to give a star rating to someone’s story (especially when it’s such a raw portrayal of how it feels to lose your mom), so I won’t do that. However, I will say that while I do have a few issues with the book, and will thus not be widely recommending it, those things don’t overshadow my appreciation of its strengths: the lyrical prose, brutal honesty, and almost tangible descriptions of Korean foods.

Content Warnings

askirmishofwit's review against another edition

Go to review page

challenging emotional informative inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

5.0

Content Warnings

stephmcoakley's review against another edition

Go to review page

dark reflective sad medium-paced

4.0

Content Warnings

katschkekat's review

Go to review page

dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

3.0

Content Warnings

robinks's review against another edition

Go to review page

emotional reflective medium-paced

5.0

What a beautiful memoir and testament to Zauner’s mother’s life. As a fellow mixed-race individual, Zauner’s desire to connect to her Korean heritage is so relatable. It was also so wonderful to hear the book spoken by the author herself.

Content Warnings

More...