Reviews with content warning for Toxic friendship - Treize raisons

Reviews tagging 'Toxic friendship'

Treize raisons by Jay Asher

37 reviews

maybeiamnotchurchyenough's review against another edition

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challenging emotional sad tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

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notaspacemission's review against another edition

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dark sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

0.25

The definition of romanticising mental health issues, sexual assault, and suicide. Absolutely disgusting, so problematic. Made me want to literally vomit.

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sydneylount's review against another edition

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dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

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davidbythebay's review against another edition

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dark emotional sad fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Plot
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

1.0

I actually thought I may enjoy this book when I was beginning it. The writing is very nice and it did flow at a pretty good clip. My issue is with the subject matter and how it was handled. This is going to be scattered because I'm just frustrated by this irresponsible drivel.

I've been suicidal and live with bipolar disorder. I am thankfully doing well with medications and therapy. I know something about the subject matter. I hated the treatment of suicide here in several ways. First, it did feel like glamorizing suicide. Full stop. That's enough on that, especially since it was included in a number of other reviews.

<spoiler>Second, it was filled with victim blaming. Clay continually lays Hannah's decision squarely at her feet and says it was on her that she did this. As someone who was once yelled at for my suicidal talk when I was reaching out to a friend for help, I was triggered by this. Hannah is telling her story and listing the people whose behavior and interactions fed Hannah's thoughts. Clay then keeps reminding the dead Hannah that she had made up her mind and there was no helping her, that these events happened and at a certain point Hannah wanted to end her life and the events still to be explained were gratuitous "reasons" for her decision. Let's also take the detour to discuss the events of Jessica who was Hannah's friend, then not, then Hannah witnessed Jessica being raped while hiding and never said anything, then calls Jessica out for being a reason who Hannah wants to kill herself. So Jessica is a victim and a reason for Hannah, but also Hannah says that Jessica brought this on herself. That's not right. Consent is necessary for any sexual interaction. No person has the right to touch the person of another.

I don't see Hannah as a victim throughout this, in so far as she was not a victim of being pushed to suicide by these people. She was a victim of bullying and gossip, of bad toxic people, but not of being pushed to suicide. I do find her to be manipulative in sending these tapes out. I see her as being hypocritical by claiming exposing lies and rumors and gossip (whether true or not) is wrong then by airing all this dirty laundry to these people. Airing a crime to the proper authorities is one thing, and I guess eventually Mr. Porter may tell the authorities based on this tape as he is one of the names people, but I'm just talking about social infractions and teenage gossip she claims are so heinous as to cause her to be suicidal. And let me also say, I don't see how Mr. Porter could have really done anything differently except maybe being more empathetic and following up with Hannah's parents immediately or calling the police thinking Hannah was a danger to someone. Clay seems to think he could have done something. Was this teacher supposed to force her to stay? Tie her down and make her talk? I just don't see logic here at all.

Third, it is completely illogical. Hannah describes everyone as being a reason for her, a horrible sinner that must be exposed. But, she will only expose these people to the other sinners among them. All, of course, except our main man Clay who was brought into this list of crimes because Hannah really liked him and wanted to get to know him. The rest are guilty of a wide variety of crimes - literally, in some cases, these are illegal actions being described - and nobody seems to be doing anything about this. Now, I get that someone guilty of a crime under the law may not want to risk exposing the crime of another as it could expose their crime; HOWEVER, we have a rapist and a peeping tom! They far outweigh some of the "lesser" crimes. Hannah hints at her home life and issues there, but she blames only people in her school.

Then we come to Clay, who is our narrator and was sent these tapes. She tells him he did nothing wrong and he's not a reason. WHY INCLUDE HIM THEN? Why make him twist and play with him until it was his turn. And you included him because we needed to hear what happened there to then get to the rest of the people? Why couldn't you have just done the same thing you did throughout the entire tape, Hannah, and talk about someone without their name and either let others fill it in or continue without knowing who you are talking about? No logic! And Tony, the guy who was sent the tapes so Hannah could ensure the dirty dozen followed through and listened to all the tapes, got to hear the tapes which disproved Hannah's initial statement that only those sinners on her list of 13 reasons would hear of these crimes. There is at least one person outside of them, plus the apparently innocent Clay, who know all this disgusting truth about this town's teenagers.

But for crying out loud! Her "reasons" included nobody mentioning her haircut and a boy stealing her secret compliment notes. The notes could have easily been handled with a loud and public shaming of the boy via a "hey! That's mine!" Done. The hair? Yes, compliments on a change of hairstyle are always nice, but they shouldn't be so necessary. Petty.</spoiler>

Finally, my experiences being suicidal in the past and discussing this with others who have suicidal thoughts in their past agree: THIS IS NOT HOW SUICIDAL THINKING WORKS! Hannah's whole shtick is how awful these people were and that's why she killed herself. But there lacks the entire hopelessness of suicidal thought. Hannah keeps talking about how everyone let her down by not helping, but she only lists these events and people without anything more. There is no discussion of why this impacted her so. In fact, it just makes the entire thing feel like "Hey. Have a bad few days? Maybe a bad school year with the shit kids these days do? Suicide is the answer." WRONG! Wrong message. Wrong reasoning. Wrong. Read up on suicide from REPUTABLE websites and books (memoirs) and really get to see what it's like from better places than this.

The real issue in this book is that we have to be more aware of what's going on around us and compassionate to those people we interact with. Don't gossip. Don't rape. Don't peep. Do try to be decent. Do reach out and compliment and say hi and notice when someone is going through something. Great messages. But they are given at the periphery of a story focused on mean people and actual criminals being blamed for a suicide.

I'm annoyed read that. My first 1 star of 2022 and it's April 8th. Only 1 star for the good writing and great pacing. But, the streak is over. Thank God is was quick and over with now.

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