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chrisxaustin's review against another edition
5.0
Their structure starts with the things that you like about the other person - happy memories with them, times you felt supported by them, times when you felt they were present with you, etc. It then talks about emotions and connects them to past experiences, particularly childhood experiences, and the coping mechanisms you’ve developed. It then provides examples of how one person’s response to stress feeds their partner’s stress, creating an endless cycle. Then it moves on to general strategies for talking about conflict before moving on to specific types of conflict. Finally it provides guidance for re-establishing intimacy and joy within the relationship. That’s one thing that’s missing in some other books I've read - a framework to open up, resolve issues, and restore the vitality.
The Art of Communicating by Thich Nhat Hanh is a favorite since it approaches communication from a Buddhist perspective, with a focus on simplicity and openness, not hiding behind the complexity of your words.
Non Violent Communication is also interesting since it covers hidden messages of judgement and criticism, and has a heavy focus on explicit communication, differentiating between needs and tactics for meeting those needs, and listening to hear, not to respond. Particularly valuable for anyone on the spectrum, or anyone looking to improve their cognitive empathy a bit.
A General Theory of Love was interesting for attachment theory and forming templates, though the language was a bit florid for my taste. Thinking, Fast and Slow was useful for identifying mental shortcuts we take. Particularly good for seeing how others responded, vs how we might respond.
Fear by Thich Nhat Hanh was useful for the continuations and seeds topics, e.g. the idea of you being a continuation of the important teachers/friends from your past, because you carry a part of their beliefs/character with you when you're changed by your interaction with them.
The Body Keeps the Score was useful for seeing how anxiety affects the mind, particularly for PTSD, how different types of therapies are meant to help, along with an analysis of how well they actually work for different problems. Some very good insight in that one.
The Art of Communicating by Thich Nhat Hanh is a favorite since it approaches communication from a Buddhist perspective, with a focus on simplicity and openness, not hiding behind the complexity of your words.
Non Violent Communication is also interesting since it covers hidden messages of judgement and criticism, and has a heavy focus on explicit communication, differentiating between needs and tactics for meeting those needs, and listening to hear, not to respond. Particularly valuable for anyone on the spectrum, or anyone looking to improve their cognitive empathy a bit.
A General Theory of Love was interesting for attachment theory and forming templates, though the language was a bit florid for my taste. Thinking, Fast and Slow was useful for identifying mental shortcuts we take. Particularly good for seeing how others responded, vs how we might respond.
Fear by Thich Nhat Hanh was useful for the continuations and seeds topics, e.g. the idea of you being a continuation of the important teachers/friends from your past, because you carry a part of their beliefs/character with you when you're changed by your interaction with them.
The Body Keeps the Score was useful for seeing how anxiety affects the mind, particularly for PTSD, how different types of therapies are meant to help, along with an analysis of how well they actually work for different problems. Some very good insight in that one.
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