Reviews tagging 'Gaslighting'

Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

5 reviews

wanderlust_romance's review

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emotional hopeful reflective sad medium-paced

4.25

Food as a connection vehicle to culture and memory is one of my very favorite concepts. And Crying in H Mart explores this with nuance throughout the narrative. Standing in an overly bright grocery aisle surrounded by endless packages of ramyun; assaulted by the scents of banchan in the refrigerated section; struggling to recall her mother's preferred brand of soy or fish sauce among a sea of choices. As Zauner vividly recounts the heart breaking and gut wrenching realities of caring for their terminally ill mother until her death, they provide care through their mother's favored Korean foods. Prior to their mother's illness and the fraught relationship during their teenage and early adult years, Zauner employs food to dive into memories of eating, care, extended family, and travel. If you are also interested in the complexities of "mother wounds," Crying in H Mart reflects on this with multi-faceted emotions. It's complicated and messy and hurtful and loving all at once.

Crying in H Mart also reflects thoughtfully on identity, as Zauner grapples with grief and their Korean-ness as a biracial person. Contemplating broad questions such as: Am I Korean enough? How do I connect with my Korean culture and relatives when the critical person who used to guide me through it is gone? How can I voice these reflections to my surviving parent? Will they even understand? Unmoored in a sea of grief, Zauner turns to cooking Korean dishes as a form of therapy/coping mechanism. Diligently following the recipes and instructions of YouTube star Maangchi, Zauner finds comfort in making the dishes and banchan her mother favored. (I loved this as a fellow Maangchi fan who watches her channel and cooks from her cookbooks <3)

The writing is vivid and lyrical, but at times difficult to follow on audio as it veered into stream of consciousness territory.

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olekittycat's review against another edition

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emotional reflective medium-paced

4.5


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ellaticonstellation's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional funny hopeful inspiring reflective sad tense fast-paced

5.0

Michelle, this broke my heart several times as I read through it. I'm not Korean, but I wanted to be a musician for as long as I can remember, so I get you on many levels. I hope your mother rests in peace, and I hope you're happy; you deserve the best✨ I realized a lot of things from your memoir, kamsahamnida, unnie❤️

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jaduhluhdabooks's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional inspiring reflective sad tense slow-paced

5.0

Just sitting here. Crying. Feeling grateful and honored to have read this story. To have grieved alongside Michelle. 
To have laughed. To have understood the horrors of illness and disease as it takes away the best parts of someone you love so deeply. To fight and to wish yourself away from that someone only to find yourself back to them, in search of them in everything, because you ultimately need them. 
I resonate on the deepest of levels with this narrative. 
From the shared love of food to the volatile experiences I had with my own mother - trying to carve out my existence apart from her tutelage. But her truth remained a part of me, as it did then and now that is something I am so thankful for. Holding pieces of my mother and her story and her culture so closely to my own being, guides me. 
Grief - the way that Michelle personifies grief is real and raw and I felt it to my core. The extension of wonder mixed with the overbearance of 
debilitation, that is grief. How something so unraveling becomes something you learn to walk side by side with. 
Grief never leaves you, it grows with you. 
1 am someone who knows grief well. We often meet in random alley's of my own memories, some memories that warrants griefs presence, even extends an invitation and some that do not, yet grief greets me. We're accommodated to each others presence now, conversing naturally and letting memories take their course and present moments have their way with us both. I recently told a friend that it's been hard, this read. ...but also a good release of grief that sometimes get lost in the cracks of growth and healing. ironically, grief is as much a strength as it is a hinderance or painful reminder of what was and what is not.

It is a reminder of humanity. Of the fealty of this body and this life. And for me - it points me back to the The Lord, which is why I think it's the hardest to read because I wonder where her grief points her. And that is the question I am left with. Grief needs something to hold on to, it can symbiotic or parasitic. I think I will sit with this story for a long time and hope for the best. Because grief and hope can too, coexist. I am the lived reality of that truth. 
A beautiful book. A heart wrenching and gripping narrative. And an honor to be invited in to sit in your words Michelle. 

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naomi_k's review against another edition

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emotional funny informative inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

5.0


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