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Reviews tagging 'Suicide'
The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World, Second Edition by Alan Downs
4 reviews
jbash_lo_fi's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
1.5
I know review quotes on book covers are always hyperbole, but it's particularly audacious to draw comparisons to Christopher Isherwood and Edmund White for a book as poorly written as this. It's not just the writing, it's also poor editing. I had many moments of deja vu from successive paragraphs that repeated the same sentences in slightly different ways. There are odd errors like claiming Homer is a character in the Iliad, rather than the author (from the context I think he actually meant to reference Odysseus in the Odyssey). And then there's the interesting choice of naming one concept the "stool of contentment".
Of course, the substance of the book is more important than the style. Downs makes a lot of compelling arguments and observations about the shame gay men feel that really hit home for me. But overall his message seems inconsistent, contradictory and at times counter productive. Disappointingly for a book supposedly about overcoming gay shame, there's an undercurrent of judgement against certain aspects of queer life that Downs seems to personally disapprove of - for example non-monogamy, flamboyance and camp.
I think there are some useful ideas people can pick and choose from throughout the book, but the central concept of the "three stages" is too ambiguous. Overall a miss for me.
Of course, the substance of the book is more important than the style. Downs makes a lot of compelling arguments and observations about the shame gay men feel that really hit home for me. But overall his message seems inconsistent, contradictory and at times counter productive. Disappointingly for a book supposedly about overcoming gay shame, there's an undercurrent of judgement against certain aspects of queer life that Downs seems to personally disapprove of - for example non-monogamy, flamboyance and camp.
I think there are some useful ideas people can pick and choose from throughout the book, but the central concept of the "three stages" is too ambiguous. Overall a miss for me.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide
Moderate: Addiction, Drug use, Homophobia, and Mental illness
hex_meghead's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia, Infidelity, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Suicide and Terminal illness
leocmd17's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
fast-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Child abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Infidelity, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Gaslighting, Abandonment, Alcohol, and Dysphoria
stories's review against another edition
1.0
I’m very much not the target audience but wow this book made me angry.
Maybe it’s effective and meaningful for white, middle-aged gay men who were raised in traditional nuclear families.
But between the special snowflakes and the contrast with my reading into trauma and domestic abuse? Not to mention the idea that habitually doing something—anything—that relieves stress when overwhelmed = addiction? Highly irritating and alienating.
Maybe it’s effective and meaningful for white, middle-aged gay men who were raised in traditional nuclear families.
But between the special snowflakes and the contrast with my reading into trauma and domestic abuse? Not to mention the idea that habitually doing something—anything—that relieves stress when overwhelmed = addiction? Highly irritating and alienating.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Addiction, Body shaming, Death, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Mental illness, Rape, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, and Alcohol
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