razishiri's review against another edition
3.0
Really interesting, fairly comprehensive overview of ethics and communication skills for kinky relationships written by two queer (white) women, one of whom is also a therapist. I specify white because they make overtures to talking about race-related power dynamics and POC in the kink community, but don't get much farther than mere acknowledgement.
sushideception's review against another edition
3.0
The New Topping Book is a great answer to the question many new tops have: "How do I actually do it?" This book isn't just a guide to resources and fundamentals of safety and communication, it walks you through creating a viable emotional and conceptual framework for your own domination.
The authors don't try to railroad the reader down one particular road; rather, they give you the tools to empower yourself and become confident enough to actually dive into play without excess worries or insecurities. This sort of comforting, non-judgemental attitude can be surprisingly rare in the BDSM community. It's super readable, very inclusive of different styles and intensities of play, and I think it's not only a good primer but a good refresher for more experienced players.
I wasn't too keen on the "interludes," which are essentially little snippets from friends or acquaintances of Hardy & Easton about their experiences. Theoretically these could be helpful but mostly they just read like smut and seemed kind of pointless. I also didn't love the inclusion of a chapter on "BDSM Spirituality." It felt like too much of a departure from the rest of the text to warrant being included, plus it was predictably new-agey and hippy-dippy and all that. So you get quotes like:
The cosmic river flows through each of us, bearing nourishment, washing away what we no longer need, making us wet.
Infusing BDSM with spiritual weight is totally fine, but I don't think it belongs in a primer for newbies. I made a concerted effort to read this chapter without judgement, but when the authors mentioned a rigger friend of theirs who saw visions of "animal spirits" and received psychic messages while tying people up, my eyes started to roll involuntarily. The conclusion is also a bit up-its-own-ass, talking about Lucifer and illuminating the darkness within and stuff like that, and I mean, come on now. We're not monks, we're people who like to flog others for fun. But I suppose it's better to treat BDSM with too much reverence than not enough.
All in all, definitely recommended as a resource for beginners. Feel free to take what you need from the text, though, and leave the rest. I can promise you the animal visions are not a requirement.
The authors don't try to railroad the reader down one particular road; rather, they give you the tools to empower yourself and become confident enough to actually dive into play without excess worries or insecurities. This sort of comforting, non-judgemental attitude can be surprisingly rare in the BDSM community. It's super readable, very inclusive of different styles and intensities of play, and I think it's not only a good primer but a good refresher for more experienced players.
I wasn't too keen on the "interludes," which are essentially little snippets from friends or acquaintances of Hardy & Easton about their experiences. Theoretically these could be helpful but mostly they just read like smut and seemed kind of pointless. I also didn't love the inclusion of a chapter on "BDSM Spirituality." It felt like too much of a departure from the rest of the text to warrant being included, plus it was predictably new-agey and hippy-dippy and all that. So you get quotes like:
The cosmic river flows through each of us, bearing nourishment, washing away what we no longer need, making us wet.
Infusing BDSM with spiritual weight is totally fine, but I don't think it belongs in a primer for newbies. I made a concerted effort to read this chapter without judgement, but when the authors mentioned a rigger friend of theirs who saw visions of "animal spirits" and received psychic messages while tying people up, my eyes started to roll involuntarily. The conclusion is also a bit up-its-own-ass, talking about Lucifer and illuminating the darkness within and stuff like that, and I mean, come on now. We're not monks, we're people who like to flog others for fun. But I suppose it's better to treat BDSM with too much reverence than not enough.
All in all, definitely recommended as a resource for beginners. Feel free to take what you need from the text, though, and leave the rest. I can promise you the animal visions are not a requirement.
silvanspicer's review against another edition
adventurous
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.5
Pretty comprehensive, outdated when it comes to internet-related things, and similar enough to the bottoming book content-wise that I feel that a lot of it was repetitive, but I still think it would be a good resource for a beginner or anyone curious about BDSM from the tops perspective.
a_h_haga's review against another edition
4.0
My review for [b:The New Bottoming Book|433500|The New Bottoming Book|Dossie Easton|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1364718821l/433500._SY75_.jpg|422444] fits well for this book as well:
The book was inclusive and had some interesting views regarding spirituality and BDSM that I haven't seen in my other research.
The only reason it's not getting five stars is because it's rather outdated regarding meeting new people and the internet. That said, it does preach internet-security, which I feel like a lot of people could need a refresher course on!
Original review for this book:
I come off as dominant and in control in everyday life. I've scared away two possible doms before we ever got to the spicy part, because they couldn't picture me being a good bottom. Their loss. That said, I found this book interesting regarding being a sexual top. I consider myself a BDSM switch, but I've never actually done a topping scene, because I've found it hard trying to dominate someone I know can overpower me. That said, after reading this book, I've gotten some ideas for a few possible scenes, and can't wait to try them out! Just gotta shake a small round of Covid...
The book was inclusive and had some interesting views regarding spirituality and BDSM that I haven't seen in my other research.
The only reason it's not getting five stars is because it's rather outdated regarding meeting new people and the internet. That said, it does preach internet-security, which I feel like a lot of people could need a refresher course on!
Original review for this book:
I come off as dominant and in control in everyday life. I've scared away two possible doms before we ever got to the spicy part, because they couldn't picture me being a good bottom. Their loss. That said, I found this book interesting regarding being a sexual top. I consider myself a BDSM switch, but I've never actually done a topping scene, because I've found it hard trying to dominate someone I know can overpower me. That said, after reading this book, I've gotten some ideas for a few possible scenes, and can't wait to try them out! Just gotta shake a small round of Covid...
birdbeakbeast's review against another edition
4.0
very good, extensive introduction on topping. clear, practical information that is fluently written (though not always with trans-inclusive language), interspersed with anecdotes. there's a big focus on communication and boundaries and going at the slowest pace, which i like. would recommend to those who are bdsm-curious