kricketa's review against another edition
3.0
this book was a random grab when I was browsing non-fiction. I happened to have "the other woman" as covered by lana del rey stuck in my head and looked up to see this book. as with all collections from multiple authors, some selections are much better than others but they are all pretty fascinating. also my review is turning into a bit of a rambler, sorry:
my first experience with infidelity: (infidelity jr.? training infidelity?)
when i was 16 a guy friend drove me home from work. he had a girlfriend. before i got out of my car, he kissed me. i was stymied but flattered. "what about rachel?!" i asked. he confessed they were having "problems" and would break up soon, that he wanted to be with me instead. i stayed up late, feverishly writing in my vinyl covered hello kitty journal. i was the other woman! i was a home-wrecker! but it would be ok because he would break up with her and then we would be very happy together.
the next day i went to taco bell with my friends. (not many teen hangouts in my town.) this dude was there with his girlfriend. he didn't even say hi to me. needless to say they stayed together.
i remember thinking at the time that every single girl in the world should get together and make a pact just not to put up with this bullshit. well, it was a cute thought anyway.
when i was a newlywed the idea of infidelity was the most upsetting thing in the world to me. 10 years in, it's still upsetting, but somehow not as black and white as it was. couples i know are experiencing this, people i think of as "normal" and "good" and "just like me." someone sleeps with someone else and they're not turning into monsters, they're still normal and good and yes, definitely flailing around a bit. but as one of these essays points out, who made the "forsaking all others" vow more important than the "til death do us part" vow? is it kind of a contest to see who breaks a vow first? if one vow is broken are all the vows broken? it's at least worth thinking about.
this is the exact quote, from "Once upon a time it took three" by Binnie Kirshenbaum: "Betrayal in our culture refers to straying (which implies coming back), rather than leaving (which implies no return). It is curious that our response to the former is far more harsh than to the latter. To divorce is to break a marriage vow and it breaks apart family...We ask a lot from our marriages, from our significant others, to be our everything...and forever. It's a tall order. We ask so much of them that they are bound, at some point or another, to disappoint us." (p.58-9).
That was one of the essays I enjoyed more, as it talks about how the concept of marriage and our attitudes towards it have changed over time. The other essays run the gamut from unapologetic to thoughtful to shocking. Not all of the writers are people I think I would like very much, but it sure was interesting to read these.
my first experience with infidelity: (infidelity jr.? training infidelity?)
when i was 16 a guy friend drove me home from work. he had a girlfriend. before i got out of my car, he kissed me. i was stymied but flattered. "what about rachel?!" i asked. he confessed they were having "problems" and would break up soon, that he wanted to be with me instead. i stayed up late, feverishly writing in my vinyl covered hello kitty journal. i was the other woman! i was a home-wrecker! but it would be ok because he would break up with her and then we would be very happy together.
the next day i went to taco bell with my friends. (not many teen hangouts in my town.) this dude was there with his girlfriend. he didn't even say hi to me. needless to say they stayed together.
i remember thinking at the time that every single girl in the world should get together and make a pact just not to put up with this bullshit. well, it was a cute thought anyway.
when i was a newlywed the idea of infidelity was the most upsetting thing in the world to me. 10 years in, it's still upsetting, but somehow not as black and white as it was. couples i know are experiencing this, people i think of as "normal" and "good" and "just like me." someone sleeps with someone else and they're not turning into monsters, they're still normal and good and yes, definitely flailing around a bit. but as one of these essays points out, who made the "forsaking all others" vow more important than the "til death do us part" vow? is it kind of a contest to see who breaks a vow first? if one vow is broken are all the vows broken? it's at least worth thinking about.
this is the exact quote, from "Once upon a time it took three" by Binnie Kirshenbaum: "Betrayal in our culture refers to straying (which implies coming back), rather than leaving (which implies no return). It is curious that our response to the former is far more harsh than to the latter. To divorce is to break a marriage vow and it breaks apart family...We ask a lot from our marriages, from our significant others, to be our everything...and forever. It's a tall order. We ask so much of them that they are bound, at some point or another, to disappoint us." (p.58-9).
That was one of the essays I enjoyed more, as it talks about how the concept of marriage and our attitudes towards it have changed over time. The other essays run the gamut from unapologetic to thoughtful to shocking. Not all of the writers are people I think I would like very much, but it sure was interesting to read these.
misscbingley's review
1.0
I picked this book up because I saw that Dani Shapiro had a story in the collection; then I realized that it's actually excerpted from her book, but by that point, I was already partway through. I enjoyed reading her piece, but many of the other essays seemed rambling and not terribly well written.
alittlebrittoffun's review against another edition
2.0
This had the potential to be wonderful but it was lacking something. I found some of the essays to be unnecessary to the book and they didn't fit in the collection. I also felt as though this was kind of thrown together. And a few stories were just downright annoying/awful.
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