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Reviews tagging 'Toxic relationship'
In Control: Dangerous Relationships and How They End in Murder by Jane Monckton-Smith
3 reviews
crazytourists_books's review against another edition
5.0
As mentioned quite a few times in the book, society needs to stop excusing the perpetrators and blaming victims. It is time to realise that the "crime of passion" is a myth, that domestic abuse is a heinous crime, that coercive control leaves people (predominantly women and children) live in constant fear.
Graphic: Sexual assault, Stalking, Suicide, Torture, Toxic relationship, Grief, Injury/Injury detail, Physical abuse, Rape, Child death, Child abuse, Death, Domestic abuse, Murder, Emotional abuse, and Gaslighting
sauvageloup's review against another edition
4.0
Pros:
- definitely challenged my assumptions about domestic violence and femicide - the crime of passion myth and the idea that victims of domestic violence behave in unexplainable ways. the author does a very good and comprehensive job of explaining exactly why victims behave as they do and focuses on them (and protecting them) throughout, not their killers.
- her homicide timeline is very interesting and the clear pattern is as scary as it is useful. the sheer numbers of domestic intimate partner murders are awful, but the timeline she proposes does offer some hope in starting to combat it.
- i've known that the courts aren't a good place for victims and families suffering from domestic abuse, but the author does a great job of explaining it and arguing why change is needed.
- though the writing is plain, it's still obvious how much the author is passionate about helping people and the stories she provides, and the sheer number of them, is painful to read (in a good way).
cons:
- the information was a bit repetitive at times, probably because Monckton smith was very keen to get her viewpoint and research across.
- the writing is also pretty bland and stiff at times (unlike the more compelling style of The Body Keeps the Score), but is informative and gets all the necessary points across. i did feel like some of the impact of the horrible deaths and circumstances the author was describing wasn't given enough emotional punch in the book, but then the author herself might be inured to it from the years she's spent studying it and training herself to look at such stories and statistics in an academic matter. it was clear that she cared very deeply for these victims, but i didn't feel that was imparted very well on the reader.
- i was left still with the question of how a person who identifies that they are controlling might help themselves to end their behaviour patterns and stop the timeline from happening. but i think the author wasn't trying to answer this, just what society and victims can do to get themselves out of there, which is fair enough.
overall, a very worthwhile and disturbing yet powerful book that i think everyone should read, not just women.
Graphic: Gaslighting, Emotional abuse, Suicide attempt, Stalking, Rape, Murder, Misogyny, Injury/Injury detail, Grief, Gore, Domestic abuse, Bullying, Violence, Suicide, Sexual violence, Sexual harassment, Sexual content, Sexual assault, Sexism, Physical abuse, Death, Toxic relationship, and Torture
Minor: Mental illness, Forced institutionalization, Death of parent, Child death, Pedophilia, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Pregnancy, Drug use, Drug abuse, and Child abuse
none of the descriptions are gratuitous but its still a hard read. heavy focus on stalking, abuse and murder by nature of the book's contents.dr_aish's review
5.0
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, and Violence