niklit's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.75
There aren't enough books written about intersectional motherhood. This was a very good one.
coltonchase_'s review against another edition
5.0
The author does an amazing job with interweaving personal, political, and history. Detrimental to any learning or unlearning that needs to be done.
annanowo's review against another edition
5.0
I loved this—so excellent. I really think every white parent should read this (but it’s also not just a “should” read—it’s deeply thoughtful and enjoyable).
random19379's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Police brutality, Racism, Violence, and Sexism
Moderate: Sexual assault and Pregnancy
crookedspines's review
4.0
I was interested in the political aspects of this book and found the first part of the book to be really important to enhancing my allyship. But things became too motherhood-focused and, while I think that is helpful for so many people, I don’t want to be a mother and couldn’t quite sit through these more specific moments the author described. This book is very valuable, though, and I think all parents should read it. I also am glad this book is available for black women and black parents. It’s clear to me that it is sorely needed.
arisbookcorner's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
inspiring
fast-paced
4.25
"Black mothering is a political project, and our mission—should we choose to accept it—is nothing short of revolutionary."
I chose to read this book as someone still unsure about being a mother and also as someone due to life circumstances having to deal with temporarily parenting a Black pre-teen. I always assumed as a Black mom you have to be intentional about your parenting but was never sure where one would start. This book is a great primer, both for Black women who want to be mothers (or currently are) and those who have no interest in having children but want to know how they can best love and support the Black moms and kids in their lives. I would suggest pairing this book with WHY ARE ALL THE BLACK KIDS SITTING TOGETHER IN THE CAFETERIA? because it gets into more of the nitty gritty and tough race conversations you should have with your kids at various ages. This book is more wide ranging and big picture, trailing off mostly after elementary school. There's a chapter on education but it's broad. This isn't a bad thing, just something I feel the need to point out in case others (like me) had somewhat different expectations going into the book.
McClain's journalism training is readily apparent, she refrains from judgement even when the mothers she interviews offer different perspectives from her own or other interview subjects. Although she does note her own point of view where appropriate and makes her values clear, such as when writing about the practice of spanking kids; "Still, I choose to use the word 'violence' to describe the use of physical discipline, though it feels a little dramatic. As a black mother, framing it in this way is a political choice. It's a reminder that I want my daughter to know that her body is her own, that pain at others' hands is not a natural part of life, and that no authority figure-whether it's me now or some teacher or police officer later in her life-has the right to hurt her as a way to force obedience" (39). She also has an ear for the most relevant and powerful anecdotes, we don't see the interview transcripts but it feels like McClain offers the most compelling personal stories or quips from her interviews which is appreciated. The mothers she interviews are from different parts of the country and have made different parenting choices whether by homeschooling their kids, choosing to raise their kids as a single parent, etc. There are plenty of perspectives offered that don't obscure the commonalities between each parenting journey or perspective. Aside from the interviews McClain also has a strong sense of when to bring in history and data, presenting both to strengthen or further illustrate the stories shared. She also clearly isn't interested in shaming moms for certain parenting choices they make particularly when it comes to single moms, noting "Government aren't equipped to understand all the pressures that low-income couples face. What governments <i>are</i>equipped to do is address poverty head on, by acknowledging and supporting people's economic and social rights. Instead, our government punishes unmarried mothers, sending the message that a husband can and should be a family's source of financial stability. Lost in the conversation connecting low marriage rates and poverty is the impact low-wage work has on black families" (67).
WE LIVE FOR THE WE makes the very effective argument that for Black mothers parenting is political and that Black moms (and those who love them) need to unleash their political power in order to raise happy, healthy and protected Black children. There are a few missing topics that I thought would have been important to touch upon, such as the differences in raising Black boys vs girls or non binary children as well as how to navigate the various stages of the education system, the inclusion of these could have added new insight and depth to the book. In my opinion the book's best chapters focus on pregnancy and the early stages of childhood development so it's especially helpful for new or aspiring Black moms. This is an excellent entry point for those looking to learn more about Black motherhood, the writing is poignant and accessible, the interview subjects fascinating and the research impeccably laid out. I look forward to following McClain's reporting and reading any other books she chooses to write.
Other favorite lines:
"Black mothers advocate for our children everywhere, from the playground to the schoolhouse to the doctor's office. There is always a campaign to wage. There is always a need to make our children's humanity more visible and to convince, cajole or pressure someone who's making our lives more difficult because of their own blind spots or racist impulses." (202)
"I think the most important dividing line today is between those who believe our greatest resource is our imagination and those who think unbridled imaginations are dangerous, a threat to existing ways of organizing power." (228)
I chose to read this book as someone still unsure about being a mother and also as someone due to life circumstances having to deal with temporarily parenting a Black pre-teen. I always assumed as a Black mom you have to be intentional about your parenting but was never sure where one would start. This book is a great primer, both for Black women who want to be mothers (or currently are) and those who have no interest in having children but want to know how they can best love and support the Black moms and kids in their lives. I would suggest pairing this book with WHY ARE ALL THE BLACK KIDS SITTING TOGETHER IN THE CAFETERIA? because it gets into more of the nitty gritty and tough race conversations you should have with your kids at various ages. This book is more wide ranging and big picture, trailing off mostly after elementary school. There's a chapter on education but it's broad. This isn't a bad thing, just something I feel the need to point out in case others (like me) had somewhat different expectations going into the book.
McClain's journalism training is readily apparent, she refrains from judgement even when the mothers she interviews offer different perspectives from her own or other interview subjects. Although she does note her own point of view where appropriate and makes her values clear, such as when writing about the practice of spanking kids; "Still, I choose to use the word 'violence' to describe the use of physical discipline, though it feels a little dramatic. As a black mother, framing it in this way is a political choice. It's a reminder that I want my daughter to know that her body is her own, that pain at others' hands is not a natural part of life, and that no authority figure-whether it's me now or some teacher or police officer later in her life-has the right to hurt her as a way to force obedience" (39). She also has an ear for the most relevant and powerful anecdotes, we don't see the interview transcripts but it feels like McClain offers the most compelling personal stories or quips from her interviews which is appreciated. The mothers she interviews are from different parts of the country and have made different parenting choices whether by homeschooling their kids, choosing to raise their kids as a single parent, etc. There are plenty of perspectives offered that don't obscure the commonalities between each parenting journey or perspective. Aside from the interviews McClain also has a strong sense of when to bring in history and data, presenting both to strengthen or further illustrate the stories shared. She also clearly isn't interested in shaming moms for certain parenting choices they make particularly when it comes to single moms, noting "Government aren't equipped to understand all the pressures that low-income couples face. What governments <i>are</i>equipped to do is address poverty head on, by acknowledging and supporting people's economic and social rights. Instead, our government punishes unmarried mothers, sending the message that a husband can and should be a family's source of financial stability. Lost in the conversation connecting low marriage rates and poverty is the impact low-wage work has on black families" (67).
WE LIVE FOR THE WE makes the very effective argument that for Black mothers parenting is political and that Black moms (and those who love them) need to unleash their political power in order to raise happy, healthy and protected Black children. There are a few missing topics that I thought would have been important to touch upon, such as the differences in raising Black boys vs girls or non binary children as well as how to navigate the various stages of the education system, the inclusion of these could have added new insight and depth to the book. In my opinion the book's best chapters focus on pregnancy and the early stages of childhood development so it's especially helpful for new or aspiring Black moms. This is an excellent entry point for those looking to learn more about Black motherhood, the writing is poignant and accessible, the interview subjects fascinating and the research impeccably laid out. I look forward to following McClain's reporting and reading any other books she chooses to write.
Other favorite lines:
"Black mothers advocate for our children everywhere, from the playground to the schoolhouse to the doctor's office. There is always a campaign to wage. There is always a need to make our children's humanity more visible and to convince, cajole or pressure someone who's making our lives more difficult because of their own blind spots or racist impulses." (202)
"I think the most important dividing line today is between those who believe our greatest resource is our imagination and those who think unbridled imaginations are dangerous, a threat to existing ways of organizing power." (228)
peachani's review against another edition
reflective
medium-paced
3.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Racism
allthaterricka's review against another edition
5.0
Just wow! Finally a book that I can relate to as a young Black mother. This book spoke to every single one of my fears as a Black mother raising a Black boy and girl in America.
The exploration of faith, community, mental health, feelings, sexuality and education was AMAZING. This book will certainly be read over and over because I’m sure I missed a LOT.
The exploration of faith, community, mental health, feelings, sexuality and education was AMAZING. This book will certainly be read over and over because I’m sure I missed a LOT.