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rebeccazh's review
part of my therapy recently is trying to better understand my sexuality and all that stuff which, for me, means doing research. it's actually astonishingly hard to find good sex ed. i forgot how i found this book but it's really good. it's very accessible and gives a good framework and introduction for understanding one's body and sexual self. it covers a whole range of topics including: love, sex, health/safety, attraction and one's values when it comes to these topics.
this is written for parents and i really love good parenting books because it gives me the guidance/education that i missed out. so, this book gives some really helpful ways to understand sexuality. the way vernacchio defines the different types of attraction (platonic, sexual, romantic, etc) helps me reflect on my own patterns of attraction. he covered the topics in a way that's very beginner-friendly so for someone like me who was super confused about all this, it really helped to have literally everything explained: i both understood specific aspects better while seeing the bigger picture of how sex ties in with one's values or life. the q&as that vernacchio included and the way he modeled answering teens' questions about sexuality also gave me a body-positive and sex-positive way to think about all this. this beginner's intro to sexuality is really useful because forums online, while helpful in providing a sense of shared experiences, muddy the waters when it comes to understanding different concepts and labels because everyone online is still figuring it out and isn't able to give useful or clear definitions of different types of attraction.
i also appreciated that this book was really inclusive of queer folks but i wish he had been more gender-neutral with his pronouns and when talking about people with vaginas vs penises.
this is written for parents and i really love good parenting books because it gives me the guidance/education that i missed out. so, this book gives some really helpful ways to understand sexuality. the way vernacchio defines the different types of attraction (platonic, sexual, romantic, etc) helps me reflect on my own patterns of attraction. he covered the topics in a way that's very beginner-friendly so for someone like me who was super confused about all this, it really helped to have literally everything explained: i both understood specific aspects better while seeing the bigger picture of how sex ties in with one's values or life. the q&as that vernacchio included and the way he modeled answering teens' questions about sexuality also gave me a body-positive and sex-positive way to think about all this. this beginner's intro to sexuality is really useful because forums online, while helpful in providing a sense of shared experiences, muddy the waters when it comes to understanding different concepts and labels because everyone online is still figuring it out and isn't able to give useful or clear definitions of different types of attraction.
i also appreciated that this book was really inclusive of queer folks but i wish he had been more gender-neutral with his pronouns and when talking about people with vaginas vs penises.
1teachingnomad's review
5.0
As an educator working with teenagers this book defined how to address sexuality and sex in a way that is healthy, informative, inclusive, and safe. This is a must read for anyone with children or for those who work with them regularly. Reading this book has given me models and frameworks that will make having the important conversations a little less awkward or difficult.
constant_reader's review
5.0
Very well done. Doesn't read like a boring textbook. A must read for everyone.
spiderfelt's review
5.0
Borrow it, buy it, just read it. Go on. Do a favor to yourself. Whether you have kids or not, we are all in a position to be a positive role model to someone younger than we are. It could be the twenty something fledging intern in the office who is clearly confused about their values and what they want from relationships. Reading this made me remember, question, laugh, share and groan. If only we all found communicating as natural as this author does, the world would be a better place.
carolynf's review
4.0
I had no idea that there was such a thing as a MA in Human Sexuality Education! Or high schools that offered a year long course in sexuality! This book is not a teacher's manual for Mr V's course, but it definitely makes me want to teach a class like this. The recommended exercises are excellent, and he offers lots of suggestions to parents in talking to their children as well.
Key features of the course: Pretty much the whole first half of the course is about defining your own values and learning how to live according to them, plus learning about gender and sexual orientation. Learning to be comfortable with your body. Different kinds of relationships (friends with benefits, just friends, hookups, etc). The difference between porn sex and real life sex.
I can't see this could being taught at any school that I've taught at in the past. The curriculum at my current school talks a little about healthy relationships but not enough, then jumps into very basic mechanics of baby-making. Acknowledging masturbation as perfectly harmless or even beneficial, telling students that homosexuality is as valid a lifestyle as heterosexuality, telling students that they are the ones who get to decide what they do with their bodies. All of these things cause administrators to freak out. It doesn't matter if the parents of the students in your class sign a waiver or something. Administrators would still be afraid that one of the students in the course would tell things to students outside the course and the same repercussions would occur. I wish it wasn't that way but it is. Hopefully more districts will be brave enough to tell parents that if what we are teaching is supported by the American Pediatric Association (http://brightfutures.aap.org/pdfs/Guidelines_PDF/9-Promoting-Healthy-Sexual-Development.pdf) then that is what we are going to teach, and if they don't like it then too damn bad. They can feel free to have supplemental conversations of their own.
Key features of the course: Pretty much the whole first half of the course is about defining your own values and learning how to live according to them, plus learning about gender and sexual orientation. Learning to be comfortable with your body. Different kinds of relationships (friends with benefits, just friends, hookups, etc). The difference between porn sex and real life sex.
I can't see this could being taught at any school that I've taught at in the past. The curriculum at my current school talks a little about healthy relationships but not enough, then jumps into very basic mechanics of baby-making. Acknowledging masturbation as perfectly harmless or even beneficial, telling students that homosexuality is as valid a lifestyle as heterosexuality, telling students that they are the ones who get to decide what they do with their bodies. All of these things cause administrators to freak out. It doesn't matter if the parents of the students in your class sign a waiver or something. Administrators would still be afraid that one of the students in the course would tell things to students outside the course and the same repercussions would occur. I wish it wasn't that way but it is. Hopefully more districts will be brave enough to tell parents that if what we are teaching is supported by the American Pediatric Association (http://brightfutures.aap.org/pdfs/Guidelines_PDF/9-Promoting-Healthy-Sexual-Development.pdf) then that is what we are going to teach, and if they don't like it then too damn bad. They can feel free to have supplemental conversations of their own.
mlsuukiya's review
5.0
Loved this, and the push for better communication with kids and teens about their whole sexuality. Good tips, and ideas for practicing talking about this. If you haven't seen his TED talk on the pizza model of sex - find it and watch it. Then watch it again with your kids. All parents should read this.
alinaborger's review
3.0
When I made an all call on Twitter for resources about parenting teens, Dana Allison Levy who told me this book was “essential.” She was so right. FOR GOODNESS SEX is excellent both conceptually and practically. Vernacchio asks us to reimagine how we frame sex and sexuality — but he also models dozens and dozens of conversations with his students, all of whom are insanely lucky to have him as a teacher.
As a parent, I am reassured (I haven’t been doing this wrong) and challenged (I have a long way to go yet).
As a parent, I am reassured (I haven’t been doing this wrong) and challenged (I have a long way to go yet).
fblizz's review
5.0
A very thought out and well written book that I wish I had when my son was growing up. It covers a wide range of topics from building a healthy relationship with yourself to sharing information (not limited to sexual information) on line. It is our book club book of the month and I can't wait until the meeting to talk about it.
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