sweetchocolatez's review
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Fatphobia, Eating disorder, and Body shaming
Moderate: Racism
blackcatkai's review against another edition
this one is much more cis-women centric than the synopsis made it sound like. the author narrates the audiobook and does a fantastic job! the info is solid, but I was expecting something a bit less centered to one group of people when the synopsis makes it sound much more general.
as an afab enby, I totally get it, and there's nothing necessarily wrong with a cis-centric exploration of fatphobia overall, but it's not what the synopsis made it seem so it's simply not for me. definitely seems good for others, though! I flipped through some of the ebook after dnf'ing the audio and everything looks solid & informative. so I'd probably still recommend it, but not really for anyone looking for a book less cis-women-focused
as an afab enby, I totally get it, and there's nothing necessarily wrong with a cis-centric exploration of fatphobia overall, but it's not what the synopsis made it seem so it's simply not for me. definitely seems good for others, though! I flipped through some of the ebook after dnf'ing the audio and everything looks solid & informative. so I'd probably still recommend it, but not really for anyone looking for a book less cis-women-focused
johanna_knivsberg's review against another edition
5.0
I first saw this book while browsing instagram a few years back. An actor had posted about it. He seemed to tick all the major privilege boxes, but still openly recommended a book on quite a *controversial* topic.
At the time I was young and straightsized and on an all-consuming trip to New York. I knew I wouldn’t take the time to read it. But still something about the post and the title of the book really resonated with me. I still remember the moment vividly.
So I wrote the name of the book down, and years later I have now finally read it. And for that I am grateful. You have the right to remain fat is a beautiful manifesto, with an equally beautiful title. The premise is simple: break up with our fatphobic culture. Through clear, accessible language Tovar presents this idea through an intersectional lense.
No matter who you are our cultures pervasive anti-fatness has likely affected your life. This book is here to soothe some of that pain. And deep down my younger self wanted that for herself. I hope everyone can experience some of that same healing. And short books like this are a great place to start.
At the time I was young and straightsized and on an all-consuming trip to New York. I knew I wouldn’t take the time to read it. But still something about the post and the title of the book really resonated with me. I still remember the moment vividly.
So I wrote the name of the book down, and years later I have now finally read it. And for that I am grateful. You have the right to remain fat is a beautiful manifesto, with an equally beautiful title. The premise is simple: break up with our fatphobic culture. Through clear, accessible language Tovar presents this idea through an intersectional lense.
No matter who you are our cultures pervasive anti-fatness has likely affected your life. This book is here to soothe some of that pain. And deep down my younger self wanted that for herself. I hope everyone can experience some of that same healing. And short books like this are a great place to start.
literatehedgehog's review against another edition
4.0
Like Adiche's We Should All Be Feminists, this tiny, short book packs a lot of ideas into accessible, powerful chapters that have you nodding your head in amazed/disgruntled agreement.
Favorite Quotes Or, I would quote the entire book if you would read it and it wouldn't violate copyright laws
"The way I understood it my weight was clearly a problem - my problem. I learned that it was my responsibility to fix my problems. I wasn't taught that some people don't like fat people because they are bigots, and it's their responsibility not to be bigots. I was taught that everyone on the planet hates fat people because it is a universal and undeniable truth that fat people are bad." (pg 37)
"What we must realize is that it's not thinness that is being eroticized. What is being eroticized is the submission thinness represents in our culture. Thinness is a secondary characteristic. The true commodity is the willingness of women to acquiesce to cultural control." (pg 69)
"Straightness has long kept women from organizing and from demanding not only what is ours but also what is right and just. It is both our fear and our investment that holds us hostage." (pg 98)
"On the date he asked me, 'Wouldn't your life be easier, though, if you were thin?' The answer to this question is simple: no. My life wouldn't be easier if I were thin. My life would be easier if this culture wasn't obsessed with oppressing me because I'm fat. The solution to a problem like bigotry is not to do everything in our power to accommodate the bigotry. It is to get to rid of the bigotry." (pg 103).
Favorite Quotes Or, I would quote the entire book if you would read it and it wouldn't violate copyright laws
"The way I understood it my weight was clearly a problem - my problem. I learned that it was my responsibility to fix my problems. I wasn't taught that some people don't like fat people because they are bigots, and it's their responsibility not to be bigots. I was taught that everyone on the planet hates fat people because it is a universal and undeniable truth that fat people are bad." (pg 37)
"What we must realize is that it's not thinness that is being eroticized. What is being eroticized is the submission thinness represents in our culture. Thinness is a secondary characteristic. The true commodity is the willingness of women to acquiesce to cultural control." (pg 69)
"Straightness has long kept women from organizing and from demanding not only what is ours but also what is right and just. It is both our fear and our investment that holds us hostage." (pg 98)
"On the date he asked me, 'Wouldn't your life be easier, though, if you were thin?' The answer to this question is simple: no. My life wouldn't be easier if I were thin. My life would be easier if this culture wasn't obsessed with oppressing me because I'm fat. The solution to a problem like bigotry is not to do everything in our power to accommodate the bigotry. It is to get to rid of the bigotry." (pg 103).
shereadsshedrinks's review against another edition
5.0
Going to just re-read this monthly for the rest of my life.
buffee's review against another edition
5.0
a quick read with lots to say. had not thought about the difference between fat activism and body positivity. gonna have to do some more reading on that. this book ties together race, class, and fatphobia.
I love that the writing is so direct and succinct.
I love that the writing is so direct and succinct.
numberoneblind's review against another edition
5.0
Absolute must read for every one but especially for us fatties! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!
mariahroze's review against another edition
5.0
This is a book every woman AND man should read!
"Growing up as a fat girl, Virgie Tovar believed that her body was something to be fixed. But after two decades of dieting and constant guilt, she was over it―and gave herself the freedom to trust her own body again. Ever since, she’s been helping others to do the same. Tovar is hungry for a world where bodies are valued equally, food is free from moral judgment, and you can jiggle through life with respect. In concise and candid language, she delves into unlearning fatphobia, dismantling sexist notions of fashion, and how to reject diet culture’s greatest lie: that fat people need to wait before beginning their best lives."
"Growing up as a fat girl, Virgie Tovar believed that her body was something to be fixed. But after two decades of dieting and constant guilt, she was over it―and gave herself the freedom to trust her own body again. Ever since, she’s been helping others to do the same. Tovar is hungry for a world where bodies are valued equally, food is free from moral judgment, and you can jiggle through life with respect. In concise and candid language, she delves into unlearning fatphobia, dismantling sexist notions of fashion, and how to reject diet culture’s greatest lie: that fat people need to wait before beginning their best lives."
gobblingupbooks's review against another edition
2.0
I was disappointed by this book :/
I’ll start with what I liked:
I’ll start with what I liked:
- this was the first time I’ve read someone draw a parallel between dieting & bootstrapping— it makes so much sense!!
- lots of quotes about the connection between misogyny and fatphobia that I’ll return to
- I think this book has the potential to be life changing for cishet women still stuck in the terror that is diet culture. Tovar does a good job of outlining how the urge to diet comes from the desire for freedom and how becoming thin won’t actually set you free, but rather further entrench you in a life ruled by your internalized misogyny.
What really didn’t work for me:
- It’s true that dieting is a result of misogyny and a means to control women. However, Tovar’s language around gender was clumsy at best. It feels like she wrote a book for cishet women about diet culture but tried to pass it off as a book for everyone. I think it would have been much better if she had explained in her introduction that she was going to discuss fatphobia and misogyny in terms of the gender binary even though gender is more expansive, instead of trying to pretend that she wasn’t doing that as a cis person (and also… not trying very hard!). I think this would have been extremely reasonable since there is still so little fat scholarship— it would have been better to acknowledge the empty space waiting to be filled by someone more equipped to fill it instead of pretending like that space didn’t exist.
- The essay on why Tovar ended up more in the body positive space instead of staying connected to fat activism was … weirdo behavior. There were a lot of strange excuses that didn’t sit right while reading (she blamed her “bubbly personality”?? as if fat activists with bubbly personalities don’t exist ??? Aubrey Gordon literally describes herself as having big muppet energy WHAT are you on about Ms. Tovar). While this essay included a valid critique of the body positive movement, it didn’t include any acknowledgment of the harm Tovar caused by participating in it herself, which is especially cringe inducing because she’s small fat— a fact only HINTED at ONCE in this entire book: she lists one of her reasons for finding herself in the body positive movement as “my size and shape relative to other fat people”. It just further points out that what was really missing from this text was Tovar’s awareness of her privilege as a cishet small fat woman in relation to other fat people with different intersecting identities.