lutezia's review against another edition
challenging
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
trevorlimberg's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
No matter what type of relationship you are exploring, this book does such a good job at presenting an informative, accessible, and inclusive view of attachment theory. Everyone can learn from this book, and it was so helpful to gain new understanding of polyamorous relationships!
aether's review against another edition
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
This is SUCH a useful guide for navigating any relationships, let alone polyamorous/CNM ones. Fern gives a great overview on attachment styles and polyamory, and then uses both of those topics to frame how best to approach relationships. The advice in these books would be beyond useful for monogamous folks too, but it becomes even more important when engaging in multiple relationships. The book help give me some terminology and labels which were useful for navigating the space and discussions with people I was interested in. This is a *must read* for anyone looking to engage in any form of CNM! Particularly the distinction between polyamory as a lifestyle and polyamory as an orientation - that distinction was an important one to recognize in my mind.
danteandvirgil's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
medium-paced
3.75
I’ve been curious about non-monogamy and wanting to explore it for myself so this book felt like a sense but approachable intro into more practically poly relationships work. It took a while to get to it and then it was centered mostly around couples finding their way into nm?
As an audiobook, some of the denser parts were harder to take in. I’d love to reflect more on the questions at the ends of the chapters. Some near the end were really interesting. I have a hold for the physical copy at the library so i can note questions for later.
As an audiobook, some of the denser parts were harder to take in. I’d love to reflect more on the questions at the ends of the chapters. Some near the end were really interesting. I have a hold for the physical copy at the library so i can note questions for later.
violetends's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
reflective
slow-paced
4.75
Throughout the last years I've been slowly reading myself through the polyam books everyone is talking about. I am simultaneously glad and sad it took me so long to get to Polysecure. I could have needed this at the beginning of my exploration of polyam connections. But also it was so helpful reading it now and reflecting upon the experiences I have already made and how I shifted along the different types Fern describes here.
This is well-researched and based on years of personal experience as a therapist focused on non-monogamous individuals and relationships. Her perspective is empathetic while gently nudging the reader to glance at painful feelings, experiences and own behaviours. I appreciate this combination a lot and consider it much more helpful than other approaches I have sometimes read.
Polysecure is a good introduction to nonmonogamy but I also believe that more experienced people can take a lot from it, or those who are in connections with people who are less experienced.
This is well-researched and based on years of personal experience as a therapist focused on non-monogamous individuals and relationships. Her perspective is empathetic while gently nudging the reader to glance at painful feelings, experiences and own behaviours. I appreciate this combination a lot and consider it much more helpful than other approaches I have sometimes read.
Polysecure is a good introduction to nonmonogamy but I also believe that more experienced people can take a lot from it, or those who are in connections with people who are less experienced.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Abandonment, Toxic relationship, Child abuse, and Misogyny
ericacffr's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
This book gave me a better understanding of attachment styles and how those influence our relationships as adults. It gave me clarity and new persoectives on different relationships styles. I particularly enjoyed the last chapter, which focuses on how to edtablish a secure relationship with ourselves.
klathe's review against another edition
challenging
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
A truly transformative work in the area of love and relationships, and an endlessly insightful entry into the literature of attachment. I picked this up to learn how to better show up for myself and in my own relationships and this delivered on every expectation. Couldn't be happier I picked this up and can't recommend it enough to others who are curious to begin a journey of exploring similar themes.