maya_jamaleddine's review against another edition
funny
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.75
thisotherbookaccount's review against another edition
4.0
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Different books hit you differently at different life stages. Books about marriages, specifically failed marriages, didn’t hit me as hard until I got married, so I imagine the four-star rating above will change should I ever become a parent myself. That’s because Peter Ho Davies’ A Lie Someone Told You About Yourself is an auto-fiction book about, in short, parenthood.
The story is told from the perspective of the father (unnamed) whose unborn child might have some defects. He and his wife (also unnamed) then decide to go for an abortion. The rest of the book, then, is about him dealing with the abortion, the shame associated with it and how it carries on even into the birth of his first (second?) child.
This book strips the gloss away from marriage and parenthood and presents everything as it is. We are talking about real conversations that couples/parents have when they have no need to impress friends and relatives. “I hope I have a miscarriage,” whispered the wife, because that way neither of them would need to decide if they should proceed with the abortion or not — the choice would have been made for them. Nothing is sacred in this book, and I truly appreciate the raw, unadulterated nature of the writing. As amazing marriage/parenthood can be, it can also be devastating for those involved. Not everybody enjoys ‘the journey’. In fact, the path is often riddled with guilt, shame and self doubt. Ho Davies pulls no punches here.
All of that said, this book has the same minor issue that I have with Boyhood, the 2014 film by Richard Linklater. Both delve into the finer details of parenthood but, because it touches on a little bit of everything, and each thing is potentially a book unto itself, that I feel like the book could’ve been much better if it just focused on a handful. Also, again, since I am not a parent, I imagine parts of this book to resonate more with actual parents out there — though that is not the book’s fault.
Different books hit you differently at different life stages. Books about marriages, specifically failed marriages, didn’t hit me as hard until I got married, so I imagine the four-star rating above will change should I ever become a parent myself. That’s because Peter Ho Davies’ A Lie Someone Told You About Yourself is an auto-fiction book about, in short, parenthood.
The story is told from the perspective of the father (unnamed) whose unborn child might have some defects. He and his wife (also unnamed) then decide to go for an abortion. The rest of the book, then, is about him dealing with the abortion, the shame associated with it and how it carries on even into the birth of his first (second?) child.
This book strips the gloss away from marriage and parenthood and presents everything as it is. We are talking about real conversations that couples/parents have when they have no need to impress friends and relatives. “I hope I have a miscarriage,” whispered the wife, because that way neither of them would need to decide if they should proceed with the abortion or not — the choice would have been made for them. Nothing is sacred in this book, and I truly appreciate the raw, unadulterated nature of the writing. As amazing marriage/parenthood can be, it can also be devastating for those involved. Not everybody enjoys ‘the journey’. In fact, the path is often riddled with guilt, shame and self doubt. Ho Davies pulls no punches here.
All of that said, this book has the same minor issue that I have with Boyhood, the 2014 film by Richard Linklater. Both delve into the finer details of parenthood but, because it touches on a little bit of everything, and each thing is potentially a book unto itself, that I feel like the book could’ve been much better if it just focused on a handful. Also, again, since I am not a parent, I imagine parts of this book to resonate more with actual parents out there — though that is not the book’s fault.
kbrown5455's review against another edition
3.0
Becoming a parent is a choice, and even when you choose it, it can be so hard that you second guess yourself.
marehayy's review against another edition
5.0
A beautiful meditation on on fatherhood and the creation of a family.
jenndiagram's review against another edition
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.75
dwcofer's review against another edition
3.0
The first section of the book, Chances, started off strong and was a gripping account of a couple debating an abortion based upon information from the doctors that the baby may not be normal. This is an emotional and engaging section of the book. This section was previously published in a slightly different form as a short story.
However, the subsequent sections as their son grows up is rather boring. His day to day activities as he ages are so hum-drum. He plays, he goes to school, he draws, he plays with his Lego blocks, he gets pets. OK, I get it. The ending is also weak.
The first section should have either been expanded or left as a short story.
However, the subsequent sections as their son grows up is rather boring. His day to day activities as he ages are so hum-drum. He plays, he goes to school, he draws, he plays with his Lego blocks, he gets pets. OK, I get it. The ending is also weak.
The first section should have either been expanded or left as a short story.
obviouschild96's review against another edition
emotional
funny
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.0
lou_christie's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abortion
lyloster's review against another edition
emotional
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
2.75